Co-worker refuses to contribute $50 to boss' birthday gift, the rest of the internet wonders why that's even happening in the first place: ‘Clock in, work, clock out. End of work interaction.’

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
May 11, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

What is the line between employee and friend? Is it weird for an office to go in on a gift for the boss for their birthday and holidays? It's kind of like giving back the money the pay you with… Or is it a nice gesture to say, "hey, you're our boss, but we also care about you as a person." But then again, why is that mentality being brought into the office? Can you not be friends with your boss outside of the workplace and just give gifts in that kind of setting instead of making it this weird professional thing? There are so many different ways to look at it—but the general consensus online is that it is a weird thing to do. 

 

One employee came to Reddit to rant about their office gift-giving tradition to the boss. She says it keeps getting more and more expensive and even though she likes her boss, she doesn't want to be giving her a present for every little reason. When she refused to contribute to the birthday gift, her co-workers got catty. 

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  • She's wondering if she is being mean or if her feelings are valid—and the internet agrees with her. It would appear that most people online don't want any of that kind of energy in their workplace. Most agree that work should just be work and kept professional, and everything else should be outside of the workplace. If you want to be friends with your boss, do something with them non-work related. What do you think?

  • Cheezburger Image 10503320832
    via Unsplash+ (and freeestocks)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "Welp, I stood my ground and my coworker is [mad]."

    For the three and a half years I've worked in this office my coworker had weaseled money out of me and my other coworker for our boss's gifts. Birthday, Christmas, Boss's Day (complete bs), etc.
    via Old-Patience1026
  • Every year the dollar amount has increased. By the time I finally said enough and refused to contribute was her trying to get $50 out of us this past Christmas. Absolutely NO way in h I am I giving $50 of my hard earned money back in my boss's pocket. Even if I do like
    via Old-Patience1026
  • her. My coworker got ped that I refused and said "Fine! Everyone is on their own for her gifts from now on." Good! Thank you!
    via Old-Patience1026
  • Fast forward to today, boss's birthday is this month. Coworker sends me a Teams chat that the contribution for her gift will be $20, "if that's okay." Excuse me? What did we all just agree to 5 months ago?
    via Old-Patience1026
  • No. That is not okay. We made an agreement that we were on our own. If her and my other coworker want to go halfsies, that's their business. But I will not be "contributing" anything. If I do $20 now, then by Christmas it will be up to $35, then $50 again.
    via Old-Patience1026
  • I politely said "no thanks" and reiterated to her our agreement on this. She came back with claiming she just wanted to "include" me. I know better. It was a power move.
    via Old-Patience1026
  • Immediately after me politely declining, her and my other coworker went outside to have a little chat. Hmm... And yes. I know gifts flow down, and our boss does buy us things. But that
    via Old-Patience1026
  • doesn't automatically mean we "owe" her something nice in return, like my coworker claims.
    via Old-Patience1026
  • Creativity is the greatest rebellion in exist"
    via Unsplash+ (and Domino Studio)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • TraditionalTackle1 Im sooooo glad we dont do this cr p in my office. We dont have happy hours or any kind of parties. Everyone comes to work. does their jobs and go home and its pretty nice.
    via TraditionalTackle1
  • Siftinghistory Right? When people talk about not taking their work home with them, this is the kind i mean.
    via Siftinghistory
  • jimihendrixflyingv Why yall buying each other gifts? Clock in, work, clock out. End of work interaction.
    via jimihendrixflyingv
  • mess1ah1 Yeah. We ain't friends. We are workplaces proximity associates. I'm only here because I want your money. I don't give a f about you. Your customers. None of it. I come in at the preordained time, no earlier. I'll do my job how it needs to be done and no better. You pay me. I go home at the preordained time. No later.
    via mess1ah1
  • chocolatechipwizard Plus, how do you know how much the co-worker is really paying for this gift? It may be something she's obtained at a cut-rate, and you could be paying her to line her own pocket.
    via chocolatechipwizard
  • dirtygrandmagertrude It'd make more sense for her to buy it and send out a receipt. I'll never forget when I worked at an eye doctor and we contributed $5 each (9 of us excluding bday person) for a $20 gift card and storebought cake. The cake responsibility rotated person to person, and one of the coworkers BAKED cupcakes at home.
    via dirtygrandmagertrude
  • picklepopppp 10 max pleaseeeee people are so weird. I agree with you putting money back into your bosses pocket is weird. It's nice people still do something but you are employees anything lavish is not necessary. Like you said a card and a cookie is thoughtful enough
    via picklepopppp
  • Creativity is the greatest rebellion in exist"
    via Unsplash+ (and Perminder Kumar)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • headbaang ooh i had a coworker just like this! she came up to me complaining the womens' bathroom was too stinky and she was collecting money from all the women at the plant for "bathroom spray" - she asked all 15+ of us for $1. spray at the dollar store doesn't cost $15 so wth. i told her no because i wasn't the one stinking up the bathroom, then i got lysol spray from the office and said here you go. she
    via headbaang
  • was fuming mad and stormed off. apparently this same coworker previously collected $40 from other employees for a toaster, but later they searched online and saw the toaster was only $20. so this woman was demanding $ from people only to pocket the rest! i woudn't be surprised if this is what your coworker is doing OP, it seems a little too important to them to collect exactly $50 from multiple people.
    via headbaang
  • Illustrious_Study_30 This caused such a nightmare in my old place of work. One woman was absolutely rabid about it. She'd make birthday cards too and had the worst taste in presents. We couldn't say no to her cards but everyone used to say how awful they were. Racing cars and old fashioned cottages with frills and lace...lord knows what she was thinking. I signed so many and always wanted to write 'I didn't. choose this monstrosity'
    via Illustrious_Study_30
  • andmewithoutmytowel I don't have any idea when any of my co-workers birthdays are. We have a company holiday party in the winter, and some cookouts in the summer especially if it's slow, and occasionally they'll order a bunch of pizzas if it's a busy day in the warehouse, but that's it. No individual gifts ever.
    via andmewithoutmytowel

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karens boss office work manager 9 to 5 work coworkers office job reddit karen co-workers employees what goes around comes around entitled people karma pay back karens in the wild justice served workplace entitled karen karma r-entitled Reddit karen story office drama karma karen entitled people
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