40-something wife sleeps over at ex's house without telling her husband beforehand, he questions their marriage: “You can trust your partner all you want, doesn’t mean you allow them to disrespect you”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 15, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Trust is one of the most fragile pieces of our hearts. So much of our world and our thoughts are predicated on the trust we grew up with, the trust that was instilled in us from a young age. Trust isn't just lying or not lying, it's trusting a process, it's trusting that things will work out. It's a trust in humanity to be or do the right thing more often than the reverse. It's trusting that your friends are really there for you, or that your partner will be loyal. It's trusting the universe in ways that means more than the day-to-day unpredictability of the entropic world around us. 

When your partner does lie to you, or betray your trust, it can shake your notion of the universe. Everything you once thought was stable becomes unstable, you lose the ground you walk on. It can make you feel insane thinking about all the other things they have already lied about, or what they're lying about now. Once that barrier is broken, there's no going back. 

In the story below, the protagonist is a bit naive. His wife has been spending time with her ex-boyfriend, and he doesn't question it until it's too close to his face. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITAH Wife spent the night at a friends house

    Cheezburger Image 10504237824
    via Gustavo Fring from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I'll keep this pretty simple. We're both in our 40s. Together 11 years, married for 8.
    via u/OddTable2114

  • Is this man a complete fool? He claims his wife has never given him a reason not to trust her, but literally hanging out and spending hours on end with your ex-boyfriend is absolutely a reason not to trust her. A sleepover with his is just the cherry on top of the whole situation. 

  • 03
    About 2 or 3 years ago my wife ran into her ex-boyfriend, whom she lived with previously. They chatted and caught up with her. To be clear they were part of the same friend group before dating.
    via u/OddTable2114
  • 04
    They'd bump into each other about every few and they'd chit chat and catch up on things at a nearby diner.
    via u/OddTable2114
  • 05
    About two week ago she hung out with him and his friends until 10pm, 5+ hours after she got off.
    via u/OddTable2114
  • 06
    She knew I did not like this, I don't think I'd be in the minority in this. But she has never given me reason to doubt her and she doesn't have a deep bench of friends.
    via u/OddTable2114
  • 07
    Yesterday they met up again after work.She checked in around 3 hours after they met up letting me know was was fine.
    via u/OddTable2114
  • 08
    I did my own thing at home until | basically just said f and went to bed.
    via u/OddTable2114
  • 09
    I received the below text message at 1245am. Her: Lost track of time. Gonna just go to work from here. Look, I trust my wife, she's never before given me reason not to, and I know the realization her previous
    via u/OddTable2114
  • 10
    friend group has moved on has hit her hard recent. Even given that I feel like I'm being gaslit and at a bare minimum this is extremely disrespectful. AITAH?
    via u/OddTable2114
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10504238592
    via Billion Photos / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    MyDirtyAlt79 Your wife slept(?) at her ex's. Really? NTA clearly, but really?
    via u/MyDirtyAlt79
  • 13
    sog96 So she's going to work in the same clothes that she wore the previous day? If she had a change of clothes then she planned on this. Even if she didn't cheat on you physically, this was planned. And at a minimum there is emotional cheating.
    via u/sog96
  • 14
    Harvard Diplomat Wife spent the night at a friends house 40s? Lost track of time? At an ex-boyfriend, whom she lived with previously? Will go to work from his house? LMAO Yea, that is a friend... with benefits.
    via u/Harvard Diplomat
  • 15
    aparish67 This is bad news dude. At minimum she badly disrespected you.
    via u/aparish67
  • 16
    kick6 As a 43 year old, there's no way I would "lose track of time" and "just stay at a friends house and go to work from there" at 40. That's literally 21 year old stuff. This is HIGHLY suspicious.
    via u/kick6
  • 17
    Most affairs start with "never had a reason to not trust x." Well yea, because most people aren't presented with the opportunity often. And then when they are....well...
    via u/kick6
  • 18
    De mamate in Marriage T a personal
    via Kameleon007 from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    NiceRat123 Yeah I think that something is amiss. You don't "hang out" while married at 40 and "lose track of time" especially with an ex. Something isn't right
    via u/NiceRat123
  • 20
    radioguy23 NTA. Wife had an affair. End of story. Consult all the best divorce lawyers in your areas. Good luck.
    via u/radioguy23
  • 21
    persistent_issues She, a married woman, spent the night with a former lover. You know how this story ends.
    via u/persistent_issues
  • 22
    biteme717 How far away was she from you? Does she carry a spare set of clothes with her? I call , and IMO is untrustworthy now. I personally would have sent her a text that said, "Cool, I will have your mail forwarded to your new address."
    via u/biteme717
  • 23
    Adventurous_Ideal909 I have a bridge I would like to sell you. DM for details.
    via u/Adventurous_Ideal909

Tags

marriage drama toxic relationships lol cheating love family infidelity reddit thread Reddit funny dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article