Soon-to-be mom refuses to let in-laws meet her child, sides with husband's sister after hearing about his golden child upbringing: “Even if I had kids you’d never meet them”

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    AITA for telling my parents they wouldn't meet my kids anyway?

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    My brother and I had very different childhoods. We were raised by the same parents, in the same home, but we have very different memories of our upbringing. So, whenever my brother's wife or someone in her family asks me something about our childhood, I defer to my brother. If they ask me
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    anything that would require me to speak from memory about my childhood, adolescence, or early adulthood, I tell them "Oh, I can't answer that! You'll need to ask [brother's name]." If I say anything that contradicts my brother's memories, it'll cause a huge fight, so I stay out of it by deferring to my brother.
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    Usually, conversations don't center on our upbringing, so it doesn't come up.
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    A few months ago, I was having dinner with my parents, my brother, his wife, and her sister. At one point, my mother asked my SIL's sister if she wanted to have kids. She said she did, eventually.
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    My mother praised the response and said she was glad to hear a normal response instead of having a daughter like me who doesn't want kids. That's been a huge sticking point for my mother since I was very young, so it's normal for her to complain about it. But this time, she went on and on, even pretending to cry over how sad it
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    was that I didn't want kids. After a few minutes of this, I said - without forethought "Even if I had kids, - you'd never meet them, so I don't know why you're so concerned about it anyway!" I have my reasons for this, but my parents and brother deny any of it happened.
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    My brother's wife is 7 months pregnant with their first child. Understandably, she was very concerned about why I wouldn't allow my parents to meet my hypothetical children. I didn't want to speak from memory about my upbringing because my memories
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    upbringing because my memories differ from those of my brother and our parents. I would be dismissed as a liar when sharing my honest memories. So, I told my SIL to ask my brother.
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    I thought my SIL would forget about it, but she actually asked later. Apparently, my brother told her, "Our mother never liked Rarely for whatever reason, but our children will probably be fine." My SIL didn't find this very reassuring, so she kept pressing my brother.
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    My brother told his wife about the incident where he fell into a public pool, I jumped in after him, and our mother screamed at me for pushing him into the pool, then gave me the silent treatment for days. He told her that our mother stole his socks and put them in my room, so our mother could accuse
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    me of stealing the socks and nat me for it. He told her about how I'd have to eat at a separate table so my mother could have one-on-one meals with my brother. He told her that I was always "in trouble" at home but never at school. My SIL asked me if
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    all of this was true, and I was like, "Yes, but [brother's name] always said he didn't remember any of it." My SIL asked me where our father was in all of this, and I said he was either working or in front of the TV.
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    Incidents like these happened almost every day. It turns out my brother remembers almost everything that I remember, but he didn't want our parents to know that he remembers. My SIL got it all out of him when they were back home.
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    Since then, my SIL has been saying that she doesn't want their children to be alone with our parents. She said it's fine if our parents visit, as long as she's in the room.
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    My brother is obviously blaming me for his wife's reasonable decision, and he said our parents will be furious with me when they find out that they won't be able to be alone with their grandchildren. I was like, "OK but they've always been furious with me."
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    NotRightNotWro... NTA And good for your SIL! On the real tho, why are still visiting your parents?? Are you in therapy?
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    Prestigious-Ant-4... NTA. Next time just add a "wait until they learn who told her because it sure as f wasn't me!"
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    BTW your brother is the a hole for denying the reality so hard that you literally can't talk about your childhood when he remembered it clearly. 'But they would never do it to MY kids' he even says 'probably'
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    Feisty Faye No, you're not the e You're protecting your hypothetical children from what you experienced as a child. Your brother is deflecting blame and your parents need to take responsibility for their actions.
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    Present-Reflectio... NTA. Technically he's the one who told her since you just said to ask him. He's just using you as a scapegoat just like your mom.

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