20-year-old sister vows never to bake for her brother again after she spends a week on his wedding cake, only to find that the venue is inaccessible to wheelchair users: "Everyone stared in discomfort"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 15, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Imagine that you are a creative powerhouse. You use your knowledge of crafting and your boundless imagination to create works that most people are more than happy to throw money at. However, when your sibling comes to you for a creative project, you cannot imagine making them pay for it. So, not only do you do it for free, but you go above and beyond what you normally do, spending half a day toiling away to get the perfect result. 

However, when the special day comes to present the fruit of your labor, it turns out that your brother barely gave you a second thought outside of your usefulness. Because as it turns out, you cannot even access the party where your gift will be presented. 

This is what happens in our story today, when a self-centered groom asks his sister for a really elaborate cake. However, when the wedding day arrives, he forgets about the fact that she is in a wheelchair and needs extra help getting around the venue. 

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  • 01

    WIBTA if I never made a cake for my one brother again even though I'll keep making them for the rest of the family because of how he treated me at his wedding?

    Cheezburger Image 10505580544
    via pixelshot

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My brother (20M) and his fiance (20F) asked if I would make their wedding cake. Context, I was a professional baker for years but am not disabled, use a wheelchair and have very limited energy, so I don't do cakes professionally anymore, only for loved
    via u/baristahustle
  • 03
    ones. I was happy to do it as my gift to them. We talked, and agreed on a 3 tier, white, sage and gold cake with lots of white flowers and greenery. SIL said she would give me flowers for the cake so it would match hers.
    via u/baristahustle
  • 04
    week of- I baked 16 cakes, stacked, filled and decorated them all into a beautiful 3 tier cake. This took me 30+ hours, and every bit of energy left in my poor disabled body. But hey, he's my brother, he'd do the same for me right?
    via u/baristahustle
  • 05
    day before- Mom was tasked to bring me the flowers for the cake, but when I saw them I learned they had changed their colors, the flowers were all orange and yellow. Not the white flowers & greenery
    via u/baristahustle
  • 06
    I'd made this cake for. SIL only gave mom a few flowers, but the cake she asked for had TONS, so I had to go out to get more after spending the last 13 hours on this cake. Plus my brother called to ask if he could pick up leftover flowers cause I took so many.
    via u/baristahustle
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10505581056
    via Los Muertos Crew from Pexels

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  • 08
    day of My mom calls me to warn me that the venue, outdoors, is mostly paved but very steep and that it's going to be hard for me to move. Part was being held in a field that would be incredibly difficult for me to roll across.
    via u/baristahustle
  • 09
    I got out of photos late because they had not told the photographers that we needed anything with me in it first so that I could go. But we did make it in time to set up the cake, it looked cute, the flowers and greenery I got to mix in worked out.
    via u/baristahustle
  • 10
    Then was the part that was held in a field. A friend offered to push me but I decided that since the whole family was watching, may as well give them a show. I chose to roll into place myself, this looked
    via u/baristahustle
  • 11
    horrible. I was clearly having a hard time getting around. My other friend sitting in the crowd said that everyone around her went silent and stared in discomfort with how difficult this was for me.
    via u/baristahustle
  • 12
    That's when I learned there was no accessible bathroom. Mom had to help me onto the toilet with the door wide open and multiple people helping us. There was no note on how many guests can park so someone was in the lines of the accessible spot that
    via u/baristahustle
  • 13
    made it so I couldn't get anywhere. We had to go get. them to move their car and the guy who's car it was treated me horribly. That's when I broke down in front of the whole family, crying and shaking from embarrassment, exhaustion and betrayal.
    via u/baristahustle
  • 14
    As soon as that cake was cut, I went to tell the bride and groom "bye" and told my brother we are going to have a talk later. I am going to tell him that I'm never going to make him anything ever again. If they want cake, they need to buy it. They showed that they are not willing to put in even a fraction of the effort or thought that I give to them.
    via u/baristahustle
  • 15
    TL;DR- I spent a week making my brothers wedding cake and his venue wasn't wheelchair accessible for me
    via u/baristahustle
  • 16
    11
    via Carley & Matt T. from Pexels

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  • Her brother had absolutely no regard to her outside of her usefulness to him as a baker. Maybe the entire venue didn't have to be accessible to her, but he absolutely should have made sure that she was as comfortable as possible and that the venue would have bathrooms and parking for her – as bare minimum! But he didn't really give her a second thought after she agreed to make the cake!

  • 17
    tossaside272 Nta as someone who is diabled as well and sometimes needs a wheelchair from time to time to get around, it was completely wrong of your brother to disregard your needs when you went above and beyond to fulfill his wish for a wedding cake. For
    via u/tossaside272
  • 18
    people in our position, energy is limited, and we must be careful how we spend it. Your brother knew this and chose to take advantage of it. He showed that his love for you isn't much if he couldn't even tell the photographers about your dis ility. From
    via u/tossaside272
  • 19
    now on is he wants a cake to remind him it's only for loved ones, and he clearly shows that you aren't by him. Why was your family okay with how your brother treated you? When your decision to not bake for your brother is known, dont let anyone tell you to turn the cheek because they will continue to see you as a means to an end and not a family member.
    via u/tossaside272
  • 20
    baristahustle OP That's a good way to put it- that it's only for loved ones and I don't feel very loved by him right now. I do want to note my family was definitely not okay with the way he treated me and was not aware of
    via u/baristahustle
  • 21
    how bad it was until we all got there. Everyone was really horrified for me but just told me to keep my head down cause it wasn't about me. And it's not! But I do think I'm still allowed to react with anger now that it's over.
    via u/baristahustle
  • 22
    tossaside272 You are completely justified in your anger, and im glad that your family saw the cruelty your brother showed. Im sorry you didn't have someone to speak up for you and told you to
    via u/tossaside272
  • 23
    stay quiet. I would have said something even if it makes me the bad guy. Have you spoken to your brother since then? Did he have any reason as to why he didn't accommodate or warn you beforehand about the lack of accommodation?
    via u/tossaside272
  • 24
    baristahustle OP I haven't talked to him since the wedding was only 2 days ago. I'm waiting until after they get back from the honeymoon. The only thing I can think of is why they didn't think of accommodations or warn me beforehand cause they had a pretty short engagement.
    via u/baristahustle
  • 25
    My mom actually told me that when she was at dinner with my brother and his fiance's parents That was the first time his fiance's parents who were in charge of planning the wedding found out that there was going to be a guest using a wheelchair. They had literally just never told the people planning the wedding.
    via u/baristahustle
  • 26
    ScaryButterscotch474 OP this is not about a cake. This is about your brother not understanding and making accommodations for your dis lity. Keep the talks to the issues. If you make it about the cake, there will be a sh storm.
    via u/ScaryButterscotch474
  • 27
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    via nomadsoulphotos

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  • 28
    baristahustle OP You're right... I just wouldn't be this mad if he hadn't asked me to put in 30+ hours and hundreds of dollars on ingredients. Like I would be really annoyed but I wouldn't be this mad. But you're right, the issue isn't about the cake. It's about him not caring to accommodate my dis lity so I can be included
    via u/baristahustle
  • 29
    Individual_Check_442 Your brother is an AH for not picking a venue that is more wheelchair accessible. But ild probably just talk to him about it and say you were hurt by it as opposed to looking for a way to punish him. The cake and the lack of wheelchair access aren't really
    via u/Individual_Check_442

  • Refusing to do him another solid isn't really a punishment – when exactly would he need another free cake? It's not a punishment to make a family member pay for your labor.

  • 30
    connected to each other - your brother should have thought of you in this regard whether you brought the cake or not. So to go to him and say "You did this to me so I'm not going to ever bake you a cake again.", he'll just be like "well OK" and what will that
    via u/Individual_Check_442
  • 31
    really accomplish. If you don't plan on going no contact with your brother over this then what you're really saying is "I'm just going to hold a grudge forever". P.S. The cake sounds awesome was probably better than my wedding cake that I paid like $500 for!
    via u/Individual_Check_442
  • 32
    baristahustle OP To clarify- I'm choosing to pick the cake as an example of I'm not putting in this effort for you ever again because you don't seem to appreciate it. And he does really really love my cakes and so I
    via u/baristahustle
  • 33
    think he will actually be upset about it. It's because he shows he doesn't appreciate that effort and so I'm not going to put it in. But I do see what you mean that the action I'd be taking would be punitive and that's not always the best in the long-term
    via u/baristahustle
  • 34
    BBClingClang He should have made accommodations for you whether you made the cake or not! It isn't about your cake effort being recognized by him with making your movement easier. You're his f'ing sister! He should have made things smooth for you because he loves you and I wanted you there.
    via u/BBClingClang

Tags

cake family drama bride bakery groom wedding drama brother siblings relationships wedding wheelchair wedding cake family sister entitled people
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