Aunt funds her 10-year-old niece's $2000 dance camp, the girl bails at the last minute and mom pockets the 75% refund: 'She already got the money and spent it'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
May 25, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

Being an aunt is all the fun of being a parent without as much responsibility. I'm a proud aunt of 4 kiddos and I lavish my affections on them whenever I get the chance. Because I'm saving so much money by not having children of my own, I have a whole fund dedicated to spoiling the kiddos that ARE in my life—and, much to my sister's dismay, I leap at every chance I get to be the 'cool aunt.'

Aunts and uncles have a unique role in a kid's life. If mom says no to that cartilage piercing, perhaps auntie will take them to the piercer to get a stud put in. And if mom can't afford to put that ballerina angel in the expensive dance classes, perhaps it's time for the cool auntie to step up. 

This aunt had no children, yet she treated her sister's kids like her own. After years of bankrolling her niece's dance lessons, she was thrilled to pony up the cost of an elite $2000 ballet summer camp. However, when she found out that her sister pocketed the refund after the niece bailed at the last minute, her generosity was curbed immediately.

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  • "AITAH for cutting my niece off (financially)?"

    For the past few years my niece (f10) has been in a dance company. She does amazingly well but my sister can not afford the classes so I pay for the dance
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  • lessons. In March my niece was accepted into a very prestigious summer dance camp with a big ballet academy. My sister could not pay so I paid the full tuition
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  • ($2000) for two weeks, which includes a few other things. Now I am not rich but I do well and don't have kids so I have expendable funds.
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  • Recently on the phone with my niece I ask which session she is because I am coming to visit. She tells me she is no longer going. When I asked why, she said
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  • because her friend couldn't go too. Her friend was accepted but apparently her parents couldn't pay the fee and had hoped for a scholarship. Upon hearing this I
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  • was livid because I am sure if the other kid could pay, they would have went without my niece. When I ask my sister about this she says "oh yeah I was going to
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  • tell you but I forgot." When I asked about a refund, she told me they reimbursed her 75% of the tuition and she would pay me when she can. She already got the money and spent it. At this
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  • point I am beyond upset, my niece dropped out for a dumb reason and my sister got the refund and kept it. I don't want to cause a scene at the time but I
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  • tell my niece "I thought you wanted to be a ballerina, you don't just throw away these experiences because someone else can't go" she just shrugged. I understand she's
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  • young but this is the time to be serious. And I actually blame her mom. Later I tell my sister I won't pay for any more monthly classes
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  • until I'm made whole on my $2K. She tells me that will take her months and I know she can't pay for the classes. I tell her I'm not rich, and could have used that
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  • money for the new mattress | have been wanting to get (I have had mine for 10 years now). She asks how will I explain this to my niece. I tell my sister at the very
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  • least, they should have told me when she changed her mind and that not telling me and keeping my money was the last straw. She
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  • says I'm being an AH to take away an opportunity from her but they both threw it away. Am I the AH here for not wanting to pay for lessons anymore?
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  • AndreaKhali. Your niece gave up a huge chance for a flimsy reason and your sister pocketed your refund. It's fair to stop payments until repaid. They should have told you sooner.
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  • ProfessorDistinct835 NTA. Your sister is making very questionable parenting choices by not pushing her daughter to go. Are you sure she didn't just cancel so she could pocket the money? Giving your niece a pass because she's 10.
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  • 7625607. NTA Your sister is hugely at fault here. She needs to pay you back the full $2000 you spent on this summer camp.
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  • drezdogge ⚫ I'm wondering if she paid at all or if she kept the 2k and talked the daughter out if it
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  • Curious Georgia_43 NTA. She seems to now $1,500 of your money she can use to pay for her daughter's classes. You did what you could and they took advantage of the situation.
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  • Pc3t_rt99. NTA at all! The niece bailed on the $2000 camp just because her friend couldn't go. This shows me that she's not very serious about dance to begin
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  • with. It's the sister's responsibility to pay for these classes, not OPs. The sister basically stole OPs money and now is expecting OP to keep giving money?
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  • kmflushing NTA. Wow. You are being used as an atm. You should definitely stop. Even if/when she pays you back the money she kinda stole. Just stop.
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  • TheFairyQueen420 NTA. Your sister is a thief & your niece sounds like a normal kid who decided not to do the two weeks all because her friend couldn't go too. IF you do
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  • continue to contribute to your niece in the future, make sure to be the one paying & such for whatever it is. Any & all refunds go to your only & your sister in
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  • no way touches the money. She's untrustworthy at this point. I'd talk with your niece & see if she's even still interested anymore in dance or something else.
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