20-year-old husband misses the birth of his daughter, his 19-year-old wife feels abandoned despite him being on active Navy duty: “Everyone’s acting like I don’t care”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 21, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Being married is like running a marathon that you'll never win. It's endless, everlasting, but there's no finish line, and there's no one you're even competing with. There's no winner, just constant struggling to keep up with your surroundings. For both men and women these days, being an equal presence in the relationship is so much more significant than it was in the past. Dating 40 years ago meant that the man could be checked out, and that the woman didn't even have to necessarily work. These days, there's a lot more pressure on both parties. The woman has pressure not only to work, but to be the main caregiver and provider to the children, to be the main parent. The man has to also put in the elbow grease as a parent, but has to make tons of money as well. It's surprising that people are still choosing to have children. 

In the story below, it centers around a nascent family. The husband is deployed, as he's on active duty for the Navy. His young wife is pregnant and giving birth, but he's not afforded the time off to see her for his daughter's birth because of his high stakes job. Now, how did everyone in the story feel about it? Read everything below for the whole details.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA for missing my daughter’s birth even though my girlfriend wasn’t due,

    "I feel abandoned"
    via Alena Ozerova / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (20M) am active duty Navy, stationed with a Marine unit. My girlfriend (19F) just gave birth to our daughter about two months early. She was only 31 weeks pregnant. The baby is in the .. but stable, thank God.
    via u/Flimsy-Employer2678
  • 03
    I'm currently out in the field on a required training exercise. It's one of those longer ones 14 days total and I'm about a week away from finishing. I'm the only Corpsman out here, so I'm the only medical
    via u/Flimsy-Employer2678
  • 04
    support for the squad. I had already put in leave for the actual due date in July, and it was approved.
    via u/Flimsy-Employer2678
  • 05
    But the baby came early, and I got a Red Cross message a few days ago saying she was in labor. I went straight to my chain of command and asked if I could go home early, but they told me I needed to finish the training.
    via u/Flimsy-Employer2678
  • 06
    MOPO
    via Андрей from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 07
    There's no backup Corpsman here, and we're still running live scenarios every day. If I leave, they lose all medical coverage until someone else can be brought in which isn't easy in the middle of nowhere.
    via u/Flimsy-Employer2678
  • 08
    They were understanding. They didn't yell or anything, but they told me I had to stay until the end. They said once we finish up next week, I'll be sent home immediately.
    via u/Flimsy-Employer2678
  • 09
    I talked to my girlfriend over the phone, and she was crying and upset. She said she felt abandoned and that I "wasn't there when it mattered." I tried to explain the situation, but she wasn't hearing it. Her dad has been texting me too, saying I'm a
    via u/Flimsy-Employer2678
  • 10
    "boy playing dress-up" and that a real man would've dropped everything and been there for his family.
    via u/Flimsy-Employer2678
  • 11
    I obviously wanted to be there but if I went UA or forced my way out, I'd be risking NJP and losing. my leave and potentially hurting my career when I've got a newborn to support now.
    via u/Flimsy-Employer2678
  • 12
    I'm doing everything I can, and I'll be home in a week, but right now everyone's acting like I don't care. I know how it looks, but I swear that's not what it is. AITA?
    via u/Flimsy-Employer2678
  • 13
    T... 16h ago Edited 16h ago NAH This is just a really unfortunate and -' set of circumstances.
    via u/TarzanKitty
  • 14
    Actually, dad is an AH and needs to stay in his lane.
    via u/TarzanKitty
  • 15
    minimalist_coach • 16h ago NTA. Your only option was to go UA and depending on the mood of your command go to jail, get kicked out or if you're lucky get rank stripped, dock in pay and restricted to base for at least a full month.
    via u/minimalist_coach
  • 16
    This is what you sign up for when you sign away your life to the military. Civilians who just see the benefits of a steady job and health care also need to understand that the needs of the military will ALWAYS come first.
    via u/minimalist_coach
  • 17
    There was literally nothing you could have done. Clearly her Dad has never served. He needs to because he has no idea... he's talking about
    via u/minimalist_coach
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10507906048
    via SeppH from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    Lost_Needleworke... • 16h ago Nta, but she's not either, however her dad 100% is.
    via u/Lost_Needleworker285
  • 20
    Just finish your training and on the way back to see her, pick up her favourite flowers and food, and go straight to her not the baby.
    via u/Lost_Needleworker285
  • 21
    here_for_the_tea1 • 16h ago NTA. People don't realize that you can't just AWOL while in the military. Plus baby wasn't due for another 9 weeks
    via u/here_for_the_tea1
  • 22
    • Either Manageme... 16h ago NTA. I'll start with the assumption that your gf is usually a rational person and she's suffering because she's scared and your baby is in ... I don't know if the navy can offer her support
    via u/Either_Management813
  • 23
    services such as counseling or connect her with other new mothers who have a spouse or partner deployed but it's worth asking. Do you have anyone who can be there, parent, sibling, cousin etc to give her some support until you get there? Because it sure sounds like her father is spewing his sh in her ear
    via u/Either_Management813
  • 24
    as well and therefore likely he's no help.
    via u/Either_Management813

Tags

family drama marriage drama family feud relationships husband lol love birth family reddit thread Reddit funny dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article