Father can't afford to send his kids to the same private school as his stepkids, demands their mom transfer them to a cheaper school instead: ‘I want what's best for my children’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
May 25, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Nobody can predict every single one of the changes children would have to deal with when two families decide to combine into one. When two parents with kids of their own decide to marry and share the responsibility, it's quite impossible to know in advance what struggles they will have to deal with as they raise their respective children together.

Some changes can be easily expected–the struggles of moving into a bigger home and figuring out bedroom situations, jealousy and competitiveness between the two sets of kids, and the resentment that may be felt and expressed. Other changes reveal themselves as you go. Like how difficult it may be to live as one family under one roof when one family's financial situation has been drastically different from the other's up until now. Or how each parent has rules and educational standpoints that are vastly different from the other parent's, and now have to be morphed into one.

It seems as if the couple in the story below did not expect the struggles that their financial differences might lead to, and it seriously complicated the family dynamic.

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  • When the mom in this story married her husband, they didn't fully think about what it truly meant for their children. For a while, though, they made it work. Until the father lost his job and could no longer afford to send his kids to the same school as his stepkids. But when he tried to petition to transfer all of the kids to a cheaper school, mom put her foot down.

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    I 文 文 1 x
    via Aflo Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITAH for refusing to change my children's school for husband after his ex wife lost her high paying job

    I am 42f with two children 16f and 12m with my ex dany. I have been married to Greg 44m who had a son 15m and daughter 10f with her ex Lia.
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    We met at our children's school. Dany and i jointly fund out children's private school and they have college funds set by both set of grandparents. He is loaded. My ex and I don't like
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    each other. But we co parent well and want best for kids. Greg and I have decided that things we buy and treat kids equal at home. But school, college fund won't be mixed as our ex are
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    involved. As well as gifts from ex partners.. We have had to teach kids the differences about the income when it comes to my ex kids. Kids are nice to each other and
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    share things. Although they definitely love their bio siblings way more. Greg and his ex jointly fund their children education too. But Lia lost her job recently and has to
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    downgrade. That means they can't pay for same school. They had to change school. Now he is pressuring me that his kids hate that my children go to bigger international school. And we
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    should change school after summer. I told him that my kids education can't be compromised and it was clear to us, that we are responsible for our children's
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    school as well as college education. We are fighting a lot on this and he is saying I am being too tough. He is sleeping in other room. But I won't change anything
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    regarding my children and my ex alone can pay for children. education, if I even try to do this and my kids will never forgive me.
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    I love Greg but this is the hill | will de on. I don't think he would've changed his kids's schools if this was the case on my side. Even if it means, I have to lose him. I am hurting inside. But I want best for my children.
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    Edit. I can't take solo decisions on my children's education. My ex will drag me to court and mind wash kids against me.
    via NotADoormatNaomi
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    Cheezburger Image 10508358400
    via bluecinema

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    No-Stable365 NTA. Greg has nothing to do with your children's education and apparently has been that way since the beginning. Greg can't change the rules because he feels your children are getting a better deal.
    via No-Stable365
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    Your children come first and their education is so important, as well as being set up by going to a good school, good college etc. I stand with you on this hill.
    via No-Stable365
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    Mother Search3350 Greg needs to get over himself and stop thinking that he gets a say on where another man's children go to school when he isn't even paying for it. They aren't his children, they have a father. Their father pays for their
    via Mother_Search3350
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    education and not him. Their fathers finances and what he wants to provide for his children are none of his business. He needs to get a grip and teach himself and his own children to manage their expectations.
    via Mother_Search3350
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    They aren't going to get everything they want in life and there will always be somebody who has more, is better off, is smarter, is more successful than them. They don't get to demand that other people do without because they don't have.
    via Mother_Search3350
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    Naughty_Cutiev Stand your ground on this one. I switched schools three times as a teen because of my parents' drama, and it messed me up socially. Your kids' education and stability shouldn't be compromised just because Lia's having financial issues.
    via Naughty_Cutiev
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    Bettina 71 He doesn't get to decide that for someone else's children, how ever hard that is for him and his children.
    via Bettina71
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    Scary-Antelope-3933 NTA It is a joint decision between you and the children's father, not the stepfather
    via Scary-Antelope-3933

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family drama aita marriage school kids mother siblings wife reddit story private school parenting husband family stepdad Reddit money parents children Father
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