31-year-old mom throws a fit when boyfriend’s sister doesn’t treat her children as her own, sister tells her off: “My kids don’t owe you anything”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
May 25, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet people. Having children changes a person. It might bring out qualities in you that you didn't know were there. It could make you sort of like a monster, or it could stabilize and complete you. It's up to you to manage how you cope with parenting, motherhood, and little tantrums from the youngsters. In Western society, motherhood has some very strict connotations. Being a mom comes with all sorts of emotional and societal baggage that is seemingly impossible to deal with. You're supposed to worship your children like there's no tomorrow, supposed to be selfless all the time, and supposed to be so enamored by your children that you nearly lose a sense of yourself. 

Hopefully over time there's less pressure on mothers to be perfect, but for now that's what it is. In the story below, it centers around a family dynamic and two mothers. One is the protagonist, and the other is her brother's girlfriend. The girlfriend has only been with the brother for a year, and they're not even married, but this woman is under the impression that she's so immersed in the family that she can just dump her children at her boyfriend's sister's house. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for telling my brother's GF she can't expect me to treat her kids like I treat mine and that she is not entitled to anything from us?

    "You are not entitled to anything from us”
    via Yuganov Konstantin / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (32F) have two sons with my husband, a ten months and a 3 years old. I obviously love my kids but I don't really like other kids, especially kids I don't know well. I am just not the maternal type that will want to interact with other kids or find them cute or whatever.
    via u/OkJeweler4132

  • This woman has some ridiculous expectations. First of all, a 5 and 7-year-old will have nothing in common with an infant. The kids can't play together. Also, she can't just dump her children on her boyfriend's sister. They're not even married, does this woman have no family? 

  • 03
    My brother has been dating his girlfriend Natalie (31F) and she has 2 kids as well: 7M and 5F. When we first met Natalie she seemed excited that I have kids and started planning how our kids will bond and play together. This did not happen and the main reason is the age difference. Again, my kids are 3
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 04
    years old and 10 months. I don't know how she immagined that her 7 years old will bond so well with a baby or someone 4 years younger than him...Her 5 years old daughter is a different situation. She is very rowdy so my oldest avoids her at all cost when we meet during family functions or whatever.
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 05
    Despite our kids clearly not blending well, I would say we were nice towards Natalie and her kids. Last Christmas for example (the first Christmas since they got together) we gave gifts to her kids when we met at my parents' place for dinner and I thought that was
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 06
    enough. However Natalie decided to confront me on things I apparently did wrong and hurt her feelings. She mentioned:
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 07
    I do not show a special interest in her kids that will potentially become my niece and nephew in the future.
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 08
    • I refuse to have her kids over at my place for playdates without her being present. To be clear, I am ok with hosting her, my brother and her kids for a dinner or something.
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 09
    • . I refuse to make my son like her daughter. I am cold towards her kids.
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 10
    I explained to her that I can't and will not force my kid to play or be friends with anyone. I also said that I am not comfortable having her kids in my house without her present. I do not know her kids that well, I have no idea how they behave outside of the few family settings that we have all attended and I don't want to be responsible
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10509037056
    via studioroman / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    for two stranger kids in my house. On the coldness side, I explained to her that I am not cold on purpose but this is how I am as a person. I am not a kids fan, I am not overly maternal and I simply don't feel like being overly excited over kids. She said that this is not true because she saw that I am everything I claim
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 13
    not to be with my kids. Well, yes, because they are my own children? She also claims that everyone has been excluding her children. When I asked her how, she gave the same examples from above and claimed that my parents are more affectionate towards my kids. Yes, again, because they are their grandkids?
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 14
    In the end we were not getting anywhere so I told her "Look Natalie. You started dating my brother 1 year ago, my parents and I had a couple of meetings with you and your kids and everyone was nice to all of you. I don't know what your problem is but you need to speak to my brother. No one is
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 15
    excluding your kids but you can't expect us to treat your kids the same as mine. This is never going to happen. My kids are my kids, they don't owe anything to yours and you are not entitled to anything from us. Please solve this issues with my brother".
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 16
    My brother apologized for her and mentioned to me she sound like a mad woman, focused on the absurd "differences" she sees when it comes to our kids. He agrees our parents are not doing anything wrong and that I am not doing anything wrong. He knows me and he is aware I am not doing
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 17
    anything on purpose. He said that Natalie has been crying after our discussion and while he agrees with me he asked me if I can try being more empathetic towards her feelings. I told him that I am polite to her but she seems manipulative and if she doesn't want to hear the truth, she should not start this kind
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10509036288
    via Zurijeta / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    of discussions with me. My brother is lost, he does not know how to manage this madness and I am honestly confused if I did anything wrong when speaking to her.
    via u/OkJeweler4132
  • 20
    ParticularPath7791 • 10h ago NTA. I only like my kids and my besties kids. All other kids get on my nerves. I will be nice to them but I'm not a let me hold the baby or host a playdate type of person. I will also not fawn over any goblins.
    via u/ParticularPath7791
  • 21
    Humble Suit_2402 • 10h ago NTA. These boundaries are totally fair. Natalie seems to have unrealistic expectations, especially this early into the relationship. It's not cruel to protect your space or prioritize your own kids. Empathy doesn't mean sacrificing honesty or comfort.
    via u/Humble Suit_2402
  • 22
    She may be hurting, but that doesn't make her entitled to your energy or parenting style.
    via u/Humble Suit_2402

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