‘She says it’s going to create an unnecessary rivalry': Sisters accidentally choose the same name for their babies, both refuse to budge and a family stalemate ensues

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  • AITA if I don't change the name of my unborn baby after my sister gave her baby the same name?
  • Context: I found out I was pregnant and due in July 2025. My sister gave birth to her baby in Feb 2025. When I announced my pregnancy to her back in a December 2024,
  • I also announced the gender and the name. I found out then she had chosen the same name for her baby boy. She has had 3 other children for which she never announced
  • the name. Since then, she has been pressuring me to change the name because it causes her panick attack and anxiety. She says two cousins born 5 months apart with the same
  • name is going to create an unnecessary rivalry. My husband and I had chosen this name prior to conception and announced it to everyone (family & friends) without knowing her intentions. I am
  • now 8 months pregnant and I have been calling my baby by this name since the beginning. I don't want to change the name. Neither my husband. For context, her baby was born with some kidney issues and
  • had to have surgery at 10 weeks old so she has been especially sensitive. Personnaly, I feel for her but I don't see this name thing as a major issue and I don't want to change the name of my baby because she has anxiety over this. Am I the assole?
  • UPDATE FOR CLARIFICATION: She did not steal the name, we just happen to choose the same name. It is my first pregnancy and I announced the name at the same time of
  • my pregnancy announcement (3 months). She was due with a baby boy 5 months before mine. She did not announce the name and kept it secret (as
  • she did with her 3 other children). I found out she chose the same name when I saw the look on her face when i announced it to her.
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  • azaharinflames NTA. As far as I understand, you announced it first. So (imo) it doesn't matter if her baby was born first, you announced the name before she did. You've been
  • calling your baby this name since the beginning and feel like it's theirs. In my family, my brother and my cousin share one name (granted, for my brother is his middle name and for my cousin his
  • first), and we've never had an issue because of that. My brother usually goes by both names or just by his middle. My cousin either by both, or by his middle as well.
  • Idk. I think you have to prioritize your family. Your sister chose to name her baby the same name as yours, not the opposite. So why should you change it?
  • Tangerine_Bouquet Possibly NAH, although the 'pressuring' leans toward your sister being TA. People, even in the same family, often have the same name. What 'rivalry' comes from this? Natural nicknames, or using
  • middle names (Bobby Jo and Bobby Sue), or a hundred other things can solve this. It's not entirely clear that she chose the name because you had
  • already told her, but they had the right idea with their first two: no need to 'announce' a name before the child is born. Only the parents need to be involved in naming.
  • So if you and your husband want this name, it's your child's name. A therapist can help your sister with her anxiety; that's not your job.
  • gooossfraabaahh Nta There's like 8 men named Thomas through my family (probably more). It really doesn't matter, we just call them a variation. Tom, Uncle Tommy, Tommie, Cousin Thomas,
  • lol. It's really fine. Just double check that you like the middle name too because you may have to call him by both when youre around the rest of the family. Pretty effed up of your sister to name her baby that when you've been so public about the name

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