Mom buys 13-year-old son a new puppy, allergic stepmother refuses to take responsibility for it, leading to resentment from teen: “This is a slippery slope”

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
May 31, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

The last time I cried was last night, and it was because of an Instagram reel. The video was of a young boy getting a puppy for his birthday. It starts with him unwrapping multiple dog toys, thinking it's some sort of gag gift. Then, he turns around, and his dad presents him with a cute little bundled up black lab. At this point, the kid bursts into tears – and that's also my cue for waterworks. There is something so special about getting to witness the very start of a beautiful friendship.

In our story today, a mom gets her teenage son a furry friend. She tells him that the pup is his responsibility – as most parents do. However, as he spends much of his time with his dad and stepmother, it starts to become their responsibility as well. This isn't something that they asked for or agreed to, and on top of that, stepmom is allergic. Is this just a way for bio mom to drive a wedge in the family? 

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  • 01

    AITA for not letting my step son's dog stay with us?

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  • 02
    My 13 year old step son's mother bought him a puppy over the weekend. Awesome! It was our weekend with our son when they picked him up and he asked if he could bring him over to our house for
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  • 03
    he asked if he could bring him over to our house for his younger siblings to meet him. We said OK but only for a bit outside because I am mildly allergic. In addition, we don't want to be responsible for an animal with our hectic lives. After the puppy left, my
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  • 05
    step son said he will need to bring the dog over when his mom is "too busy" to watch him because the dog is his responsibility. I said we won't be able to do that and explained why for the reasons above. I thought it was settled. Today, during her parenting time, she
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  • 06
    dropped him off because she has a doctor's appointment and can't watch him. I told my husband this is a slippery slope and he needs to tell her she can't drop off the dog anymore unless she gets
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  • 07
    direct permission from my husband (but would prefer to not allow it at all) My step son didn't like that and thinks I'm being unreasonable. As a side note- my husband and his ex-wife don't have an amicable relationship.
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  • 09
    ParisianFrawnchFry Um. No. I love dogs. LOVE LOVE LOVE dogs.
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  • Parents can say that a puppy is their kids' responsibility, but it should never be a completely true statement. Kids are not capable of keeping an animal alive without some supervision, so ultimately this dog is bio mom's responsibility. 

  • 10
    But that dog is Mom and Stepson's dog, not yours. Nope on the dropping the dog off without explicit permission. Did she consult with you all before buying the dog? No, right? She didn't. No to all of this dog dropping off.
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    Mandizzle_85 OP No she never let us know at all. Any communication about this has been through the child unfortunately.
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  • 12
    ParisianFrawnchFry Yeah. no. She needs to watch her own dog.
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  • 14
    BlossomFluffyTwirl Exactly. It's not just about loving dogs, it's about respecting people's space and responsibilities. That wasn't your dog, your plan, or your obligation. Boundaries matter, especially when allergies and routines are involved.
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  • 15
    Waste Worker6122 The dog (and the child) are being used as weapons between your husband and his ex. NTA.
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  • 16
    Pudding Sockss Right? OP, this honestly feels like manipulation through the dog and your stepson. You're not being unreasonable at all for setting boundaries in your own home. Allergies and responsibilities aren't just optional.
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  • It really sounds like mom is trying to use the new puppy to cause drama in the family. 

  • 17
    Ok_Play2364 Mom can buy a dog crate. Pup will be fine alone it for a few hours
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  • 18
    Mandizzle_85 OP I was confused by that as well. He said it would only be for about an hour I assumed even new puppies can be left alone for short periods but didn't know for sure.
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  • 19
    Entire-Employment666 NTA. Mum bought the dog and needs to be responsible for it, unless agreed with Dad (who needs to agree it with you).
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  • 20
    Mandizzle_85 OP 100%. He didn't agree but maybe wasn't as clear as he should have been? All communication about this has been through the 13 year child. Now I look like the wicked step mother
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  • 21
    ΝΤΑ Feeling_Twitchy_713 I have 4 dogs. They are my world!!! One of them technically belongs to my son. He got her, and when they moved into an apartment, he couldn't have her because she's over the weight limit. I have had her for over a year while they are looking for a house.
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  • 22
    Still no house prospect, and I still have his dog (I don't mind she's an excellent guard dog and LSGD). Lol. It's not the same situation, but just saying if you give in, you'll have the dog full time.
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  • 23
    Bio mom needs to kennel train this dog, so it doesn't have to come with. This will begin to exasperate your allergy in the long run.
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  • 24
    downwards_escapade NTA - your husband needs to step up and set a boundary with his ex wife. The ex wife is an a for using her son (your step son) as a hle in this because he's probably none the wiser to any of this. She's also the a hole for buying a puppy knowing it would need to spend time in your home without speaking to you both first.
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  • 25
    Mandizzle_85 OP I agree. My husband doesn't want to "make waves" but this has potential to get out of hand. Best to set hard boundaries like you said.
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  • 26
    ΝΤΑ dragonsandvamps If she tries this again, do not accept the dog.
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  • 27
    Your husband needs to make it clear to his ex that she is not to bring the dog to your house again for any reason. It is not coming in your house. It is not coming in your yard. If she has an appointment, she needs to do whatever everyone else with a dog does and put it in its crate until she gets back. Or doggie daycare. Or her backyard.
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family drama dogs marriage married with children puppy childhood puppies stepmom wife married life relationships husband divorce family red flag raising kids
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