20-year-old cancels trip to LA after finding out friend expected her to pay for everything, can't afford $150 plane ticket: 'She shouldn't have asked me to go if she was expecting me to pay'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
May 29, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

When you're young, you probably expect to be in it together with your peers when it comes to money. When you're starting out, odds are all of your friends are struggling too. You're cooking meals for each other instead of going out, you're having pre-games to save on drinks at the bar, and you're probably not going on expensive trips. You understand the state of each other's finances, and you feel strengthened by each other. But what happens when one of you is much better off money-wise than another? Maybe you start to expect one of them to help cover the other's expenses. 

Maybe you start thinking of them a little bit differently. This is especially exacerbated when you're all young since the disparities are probably pretty staunch. But at the end of the day, everyone is responsible for their own well-being. If you're not family, odds are you're on your own.

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  • 01

    AITA for canceling a trip because my friend can't afford it?

    I (20f) have a close friend (21f) who has been asking me for months to go to LA for a fun summer trip. Now, we live around 8 hours away so I kinda just assumed we would fly and the other day when she brought it up I told her we should probably book our flights soon. To that she looked really confused and told me how she couldn't afford plane tickets and she wanted to drive.
    via u/chocfrosty81
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10511284992
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's the conundrum one pair of friends faced when they were about to embark on a trip together. While one of them assumed they would split everything down the middle, the other had a different plan in mind. But it became clear that it wasn't quite fair either way. Read on for the story to see what happened.

  • 03
    I was sorta confused because if she can't afford a $150 plane ticket how was she planning to pay for the activities and places SHE wants to go (Nobu, jetskiing, shopping, clubs etc) which all add up quickkk. She also doesn't have her license which means I would have to do all the driving which would be hard as I have bad back issues and driving for so long would be painful.
    via u/chocfrosty81
  • 04
    She kinda just laughed and said since I have money she assumed I would pay for a majority of her expenses. I was shocked because why would she assume I would pay for her expenses without even asking? I have no problem covering something like drinks or ice cream but to assume I would pay for everything by myself except for the hotel? (we had previously agreed to split the hotel 50/50)
    via u/chocfrosty81
  • 05
    I told her that this trip was her idea and she shouldn't have asked me to go if she was expecting me to pay for everything. She's upset and complaining about how it's unfair since I can afford to pay for her, AITA?
    via u/chocfrosty81
  • 06

    Commenters came to her defense.

    . Responsible-Start... • 8h ago NTA Of course this "friend" is upset. She was dreaming of having a vacation on your dime. You maturely began talking about plans and checking expectations and on discovering her expectations squashed the idea. Good for you!
    via u/Responsible-Start307
  • 07
    Please don't let her pouting and toxic complaining bother you. True friends would never have expected you to pay for them at all. Users are looking to take the easy Road by having other people pay for them. This is not a true friend.
    via u/Responsible-Start307
  • 08
    shroomie19 · 8h ago . I've known people like this. She isn't your friend. NTA.
    via u/shroomie19
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10511285248
    via Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    Endsln-ing ⚫8h ago NTA. At least she showed her true colours. In your shoes, I'd tell a "friend" like this that I was hurt by the assumption and felt used. I'd need some time to think about things, and to give some space. You'll reach out when you're ready to discuss again.
    via u/Endsln-ing
  • 11
    Hatstand82 • 8h ago You paying for pretty much everything was EXACTLY why she asked you to go. She's not your friend - she thinks you're an ATM.
    via u/Hatstand82
  • 12
    HalloweenHollow 8h ago "She kinda just laughed and said since I have money she assumed I would pay for a majority of her expenses." Red flag alert. Absolutely no. This is super out-of-line.
    via u/HalloweenHollow
  • 13
    If you still want to go on the trip, you can try to find common ground while reminding her that details need to be agreed upon. This way, you can find a plan that suits you both. That said, you're well within your right to forego the trip. Definitely NTA.
    via u/HalloweenHollow
  • 14
    RazzmatazzOk2129 8h ago NTA And time to drop this so called friendship. She has shown you how she sees you. The wallet to pay for her fun. If you aren't paying, she doesn't see much use in you. Let this di off.
    via u/RazzmatazzOk2129
  • 15
    Top-Spite-1288 - 7h ago Wow! ... Entitlement is strong in your friend! NTA Friend wants to go to places, expects OP to drive, use her car, foot the bills - because friend wants to do things! She's not a friend, she's a user. She did not
    via u/Top-Spite-1288
  • 16
    even ask you to borrow (!) her money, she just expected you to caugh up the money. Sorry to say: that is not a friend! Cut her loose!
    via u/Top-Spite-1288
  • 17
    Full_Prune7491 • 5h ago At least you found out before going on the trip.
    via u/Full_Prune7491
  • 18
    Icy_Huckleberry_8... 5h ago driving would be more expensive than flying and take longer flying is a time saver
    via u/Icy_Huckleberry_8049
  • 19
    Mattldea8482.8h ago NTA But i would distance myself from such people. Doesn't seem she has any respect for you or your friendship. ( considering the audacity she had, to expect you to pay for everything)
    via u/Mattldea8482
  • 20
    Teleporting-Cat · 6h ago . NTA. I can empathize with being in your friend's position - I have a super close friend who is a fair bit more well off than I am.
    via u/Teleporting-Cat
  • 21
    Sometimes she suggests activities for us to do together, and I have to say "I'd love to, but I don't have the budget for that," and sometimes that's that, but sometimes she offers to pay.
    via u/Teleporting-Cat
  • 22
    I used to feel really bad about accepting, until we sat down and talked about it, and she explained that she values sharing experiences with me, and she'd rather pay extra so we can have an experience together, than miss out or do the thing by herself.
    via u/Teleporting-Cat
  • 23
    I told her, "That makes sense, but I don't ever want to take advantage of you, or feel like I'm freeloading," So, we've found a balance where I pay what I can. Sometimes that means that she pays for a meal, and I'll pay for parking, or I'll cover
    via u/Teleporting-Cat
  • 24
    the tip. Sometimes that means that she takes us out to do XYZ thing, and I'll take us out to do something cheaper - like, she pays for us to go skydiving, and I pay for us to go to the aquarium.
    via u/Teleporting-Cat
  • 25
    If *I was doing the inviting for expensive experiences, I would expect to be paying. or at least splitting. If I really wanted us to do something together that I couldn't afford, I would ASK if she was okay with covering that, and offer to cover something else.
    via u/Teleporting-Cat
  • 26
    I think it's not cool of your friend to plan expensive activities without talking to you about how to split costs fairly. You are not the AH.
    via u/Teleporting-Cat

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