Single father of 10 and 8-year-old boys expected to pay for their stepsiblings expenses to keep things “fair,” ex’s husband guilt trips him but he stands his ground: “You should be embarrassed to ask me to pay”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 2, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back people of the internet. Being a single parent is hard enough without your ex and whoever they're involved with breathing down your neck about this, that, and the other. I should know, I'm a single mother to a beautiful boy who is in desperate need of a father figure. But that's besides the point. At least there's no ex in the picture making matters worse! 

But whether you're married, divorced, or single, sometimes our exes come back to haunt us. Maybe you have a nightmare about them coming to your bedroom window, maybe you see a post from them on a self-loathing night alone and find yourself spiraling on their Instagram page. Maybe you've never been in a relationship and have no exes. Now I'm just ranting, so let's get into the story.

In the story below, the protagonist is a man with immense pressure put upon him by his ex-girlfriend and her new partner. Not only does he have to provide for his two sons, but for some reason or another, his ex and her partner decided he's also somehow responsible for his son's stepsiblings too. I can't see the connection, but if you can, comment below. And don't forget to read the full story, comments and all. 

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  • 01

    AITA for feeling like it's not my job to make sure all the kids at my ex's house have just as much as our two sons?

    Cheezburger Image 10511732736
    via franckreporter from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (32m) have two sons (10 and 8) with my ex-girlfriend. Our relationship ended 7 years ago and since then we have shared custody of our two kids. What this looks like
    via u/Jinsobongonn

  • This father seems like the cream of the crop, the top of the line, top-tier, first class, blue ribbon type of dad. He's first of all a single father (my type), and he seems to really care about his children and wants the best for them. Read the full story to fall in love with him. 

  • 03
    is every other week during the school year. Then every two weeks during summer break. Up until last year all expenses for the kids were split evenly among us. This changed in April of last year because she was struggling to
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 04
    afford all the kids in her household (our two, plus her stepdaughter and her baby daughter). She wanted child support but instead I took over certain expenses instead and the judge agreed it was fair. I
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 05
    pay for medical and dental expenses and she no longer has to pay half. Our younger is on regular meds so this does alleviate the
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 06
    strain on her significantly because medical expenses were pretty costly every month even with insurance.
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 07
    This was apparently not enough to make things equal between all the kids and my ex and her husband have complained that my sons have a better quality of life overall
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 08
    than their stepsister who's 7 and their half sister who is 15 months old. My ex is currently pregnant again so another child will be joining their household in the next few months.
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 09
    There were fights about summer camp because our boys are going this summer but my ex and her husband cannot afford to send his daughter. Before the summer camp
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 10
    issue was a field trip issue. They feel like I could "share the cost" or "gift the experience" to this little girl so she can have the same experiences as my sons.
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10511734784
    via Syda Productions / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    My ex's husband told me I should feel responsible for ensuring all kids have just as much as my sons do. I asked him why I would be responsible for that and he told me
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 13
    for the benefit of my boys. He told me a decent person would do everything to make sure all the kids in a family are given the same leg up in life. I told him that's something he should be doing as
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 14
    he's the person who blended his family with my ex's and I did not. I told him he should be embarrassed to ask me to pay for his children to have a good life.
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 15
    My ex tried to convince me of this too but I ignored her and then had my lawyer reach out and state we would move all contact to Our Family Wizard. In return she tried to
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 16
    sue me for child support, or she looked into it, but she was told that would not be likely because financially it would not be considered a requirement when I
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 17
    pay more for our children already per last year's amended court order.
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 18
    Cheezburger Image 10511734272
    via kieferpix from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    I have been consistent about using the app but my ex still brings up the topic of making things fair and equal for the other children in her home. I have replied once on there
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 20
    stating I will continue to support our two children but not hers. For now she is keeping it all to the app thankfully.
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 21
    I don't exactly feel guilty about this but I had wondered if people would find me a little petty maybe for my hard stance on this? I could afford to help but choose not to
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 22
    and I know the kids are innocent of all the issues between the adults. That's basically the only reason I'll ask AITA?
    via u/Jinsobongonn
  • 23
    IVIrLurker · 21h ago Her extra kids are not your concern and not your responsibility. There's a 3rd person in the equation: Her
    via u/IVIrLurker
  • 24
    new husband. If he can't give his kids everything your kids have, it's not your responsibility. You've already taken care of your own, he's
    via u/IVIrLurker
  • 25
    got to step up and take care of his. NTA, and don't let them gaslight you otherwise.
    via u/IVIrLurker

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