Adopted woman receives 6-figure inheritance from the birth mother she never met, her siblings demand she share the money with them: 'It isn't fair I got everything when they also "deserve" it being adopted as well'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 2, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

Inheritance brings out the worst in people. It's rare for someone to acquire hundreds of thousands of dollars in assets solely by being related to or having a relationship with a person. It takes so little merit to inherit something; it's usually a strict matter of luck. Your grandma is either a millionaire or she has been putting her social security check into the slot machine for 30 years. You're not a better person or more deserving of money if your grandma is the former, but you're a lot more likely to get an inheritance if she's a saver. Life isn't fair, and inheritance (or lack thereof) is a perfect example of things not always going the way you want them to. Heck, look at Knives Out! People are willing to do a lot to get their hands on money they didn't earn from people they didn't care about anyway. 

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  • 01

    AITA for keeping inheritance from birth mother instead of splitting with adoptive siblings?

    i just found out that my birth mother, who I have never met, left me her whole estate ($180k)! | was adopted at birth by a wonderful family with two other adopted kids.
    via u/Important-Brain-2271

  • The woman in this story got an inheritance she was not expecting at all. She was adopted at birth and received $180K from her birth mother after her passing. While you'd think her family would be happy for her, they're clamoring for this sum to be split among her siblings. 

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10512180480
    via City Hive

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    Cheezburger Image 10512185344
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    My siblings are now saying that it isn't fair I got everything when they also "deserve" it being adopted as well. They want to split it three ways! My parents are staying neutral which I can tell is uncomfortable.
    via u/Important-Brain-2271
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10512185856
    via Sergey Sokolov

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06
    The thing is, this was MY birth mother. She chose to find me and leave me this money. My siblings have their own birth families they could easily have a connection to someday. For me, this feels like my one connection to where I came from.
    via u/Important-Brain-2271
  • 07
    Now family dinners are awkward because my siblings barely talk to me. Am I being selfish keeping money that was legally left to me??
    via u/Important-Brain-2271
  • 08
    Kami_Sang NTA - your siblings are entitled and irrational. It doesn't matter if they are adopted too - your birth mom (not theirs) left you something. It's yours - the only thing you'll have from a woman who birthed you and clearly never stopped loving you. Use this for something big - an education or towards a house. Don't squander it. Let it always remind you that the woman who conceived you never forgot you and always loved you.
    via u/Kami_Sang
  • 09
    Its_me_Suzy Where at all do some people get this entitlement from? The adoptive parents need to talk to the other two kids and set them straight that their logic doesn't make sense and that they are not entitled in any way, shape or form to OP's inheritance. Would they share their inheritance if it was them? I bet no they wouldn't
    via u/Its_me_Suzy
  • 10
    Educational Gift_925 You are spot on with this. Adoptive parents should now engage and set them straight. To remain silent is not helping them move beyond flawed thinking and entitlement.
    via u/Educational Gift_925
  • 11
    lookingforasong The adoptive parents might not be entirely happy about op getting this money and through it still having a connection to their birth mother. To be clear I think this kind of attitude from op's parents is wrong but I could easily see their refusal to speak up as being some kind of passive punishment from them for accepting the money.
    via u/lookingforasong
  • 12
    andromache97 i mean, that's possible, but it's also fairly common for parents to stay out of the disputes of their adult children, even when there's objectively someone in the right and someone in the wrong, the parents refuse to take sides.
    via u/andromache97
  • 13
    DianeJudith Where at all do some people get this entitlement from? It's the money. Inheritance brings out the worst in people.
    via u/DianeJudith
  • 14
    lamIrene NTA. It was from your birth mother, not theirs. Fairness doesn't factor in - it's just what the situation is. Honestly, their attitude is pretty disgusting and greedy. You are literally entitled to your inheritance, they are not. Don't give it up because of their buying.
    via u/lamIrene
  • 15
    If you feel bad about it, draw up a will and make them beneficiaries if you want to. On second thought, lol...a few below have brought up a good point about a potential target being put on your back by doing this. O_O Besides, rewarding greedy relatives in any way would certainly go against your birth mom's intentions.
    via u/lamIrene
  • 16
    Important-Brain-2271 OP Thanks, the will idea is actually really thoughtful. Maybe that would help ease some of the family tension.
    via u/Important-Brain-2271
  • 17
    Silent-Appearance-78 Just make sure to change it when/if you have your own children. Edit to add: also your birth mother really wanted you to have this, she clearly loved you very much so please respect her memory and use that money for your future. It's like she left it for you so you would never be in a position to have to give up your baby (if you decide to have one) and since she couldn't raise you herself she wanted to contribute to your future in some meaningful way, letting you know she n
    via u/Silent-Appearance-78
  • 18
    bino0526 You need to talk to a financial advisor. I wouldn't draw up a will just yet. Get sound financial advice before you do anything. Also, STOP DISCUSSING YOUR FINANCES WITH ANYONE !! !! The more people know what your financial situation is, the more they beg.
    via u/bino0526
  • 19
    Inform your siblings that your birth mom left the money for you, not you and everyone else. You don't OWE them any part of the inheritance !! !! Once you get financial advice, do something really nice for your parents and them.
    via u/bino0526
  • 20
    Don't be guilted or bu ied by the flying family. monkeys into splitting your inheritance. Your birth. mom was securing your financial future. Don't set yourself or your financial security and to help keep them warm. future on fire Take care.
    via u/bino0526
  • 21
    Altruistic-Bunny Think about getting a financial advisor. $180k seems like a lot, and is, but education and a home will eat that up fast.
    via u/Altruistic-Bunny
  • 22
    SuccessfulAd4606 You're joking, right? In what imaginary world would your siblings feel they deserve money from someone they have no legal connection to and have never met?
    via u/SuccessfulAd4606
  • 23
    Smart Knitter Misplaced sibling entitlement is very real. When I graduated from HS, my parents paid for one year at a state college. They had been lying about putting money away for my education, telling me as I worked my bot off in school that everything was covered and not to worry about it. My twin, who dropped out of HS in the 9th grade after repeatedly stealing and using my mom's debit card to withdraw cash from her account, demanded a check in the amount my parents had paid for my school e
    via u/Smart_Knitter
  • 24
    dr_lucia How old are you? You should absolutely not be allowed to give away this money until you reach the age of 18 yo. You would be too young to make a decision with that level of responsibility. Am I being selfish keeping money that was legally left to me?? Nope. But even if you were, so what? You aren't required to be a self abnegating saint.
    via u/dr_lucia
  • 25
    You should probably put it in no load mutual funds in your name. Then it will be available for college. You may want to talk to a financial planner and find out if you can create a self-settled trust with yourself as a beneficiary. You could decide if it's a living trust or a irrevocable one. Then make them beneficiaries in the event you di . ( You don't have to reveal all details to your parents or siblings. Just "I created a trust. They are beneficiaries if I di .)
    via u/dr_lucia
  • 26
    Having one in place could also be useful if you later marry and want to organize assets so you keep your assets non marital. That can protect you in the event of a divorce. There can be tax consequences to trusts, so you would need to talk to someone. Likely, they might want a fee.
    via u/dr_lucia

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inheritance adoption brother siblings entitled family bad parenting reddit story bad parents parenting adopted entitled sister Reddit money parents entitled people
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