34-year-old woman refuses to go on family vacation after being pressured to pay for adult brother last year, the family turns on her: “My mom said I’m ‘punishing the kids’”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jun 8, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Summer: vacation time is finally here in full swing, and whether you're an island gal booking Hawaii flights, a metropolitan princess pursuing museums in Paris, or the naturey adventurous type going ziplining in Thailand, everyone loves their own version of what vacation means to them. Some people travel for the food, some for the culture, and some just to breathe new air. For me, it's all about who you travel with. 
 

I've usually traveled alone, but there's been a few times with friends. With friends, you could think beforehand it will be an amazing time together, but you learn a lot on the way. I went to Romania with a friend of mine, and let me tell you, we do not work as travel buddies. Family is nearly out of the question. Too many personalities, too much drama, but not everyone feels like that. 
 

In the story below, the protagonist is a woman who usually goes on an annual family vacation. This year she puts her foot down. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01

    AITA for refusing to go on the family vacation because I’m tired of always covering the extra costs?

    "My brother called me cold hearted"
    via dashapetrenkophotos / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So this happened last week and my phone's been blowing up ever since. I (34F) have always been the "responsible one" in my family. I have a good job, no kids,
    via u/mazymayes

  • If I were the protagonist is the story, I would probably do the same. There's no point in going if you know in advance that your boundaries are going to be crossed, and on top of that your wallet is going to be empty. There's a reason everyone is trying to drag her into the vacation. 

  • 03
    I save my money. My younger brother (31M) and his wife (29F) have 3 kids and are constantly broke. My mom says it's "just a phase," but it's been like this for years.
    via u/mazymayes
  • 04
    Every summer we do this family vacation to the beach, usually a rental house that we all split. Except I always end up covering more than my share. Last year,
    via u/mazymayes
  • 05
    my brother said he couldn't afford his part until "after the trip," and surprise surprise, he never paid me back. I also paid for the groceries, gas, and even his kids' amusement park tickets
    via u/mazymayes
  • 06
    because "they didn't wanna feel left out." My mom said I was being selfish when I brought it up.
    via u/mazymayes
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10514091520
    via nutraveller from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    So this year, when the group chat started planning again, I said I'm out. I told them I'm not going, and if they can't afford the trip without me footing half the bill, maybe they shouldn't go either.
    via u/mazymayes
  • 09
    Now everyone's ped. My mom said I'm "punishing the kids" and my brother called me cold- hearted. Even my cousin, who
    via u/mazymayes
  • 10
    usually stays out of it, said I could at least come and "just not pay for extra stuff.”
    via u/mazymayes
  • 11
    I'm tired. I feel like if I go, I'm enabling this. But now I'm wondering if I went too far. AITA for saying no?
    via u/mazymayes
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10514084864
    via travnikovstudio / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    Advanced-Pear-8988 • 1h ago NTA- keep your foot down and stop being their ATM. You said it best if they can't afford it don't go!
    via u/Advanced-Pear-8988
  • 14
    Alisha235a 59m ago NTA. This isn't about being cold-hearted, it's about not being a doormat. Your family needs a reality check on their spending, not a bailout.
    via u/Alisha235a
  • 15
    Constant_Host_3... 40m ago NTA. Go plan a vacation by yourself or with a friend, where you aren't treated as the cash cow.
    via u/Constant_Host_3212
  • 16
    Your title is misleading - you aren't just covering "extra costs", you have been covering essential costs like
    via u/Constant_Host_3212
  • 17
    groceries and gas and your brother's share of the rental house. Tell your cousin that.
    via u/Constant_Host_3212
  • 18
    Calling a woman "cold hearted" is a classic manipulation technique to maneuver her to prove "I'm not cold hearted, see, I'll fall in with your plan!"
    via u/Constant_Host_3212
  • 19
    Your mother is the one who went too far by claiming you're "punishing the kids". Kids aren't entitled to beach vacations or amusement
    via u/Constant_Host_3212
  • 20
    park tickets, and not receiving things they're not entitled to isn't punishment. They can be given a perfectly fun vacation that their parents are able to pay
    via u/Constant_Host_3212
  • 21
    for, which they'll enjoy very much. And if the parents can't pay for any vacation, then aren't they the ones "punishing the kids"?
    via u/Constant_Host_3212
  • 22
    As for your mother, you're her kid, and you're being exploited by freeloaders. If that doesn't bother her, it should.
    via u/Constant_Host_3212
  • 23
    Mute their calls and texts and take a break from them. And prioritize doing something for yourself that you'd normally not do.
    via u/Constant_Host_3212

Tags

family drama drama siblings family feud relationships lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny money dating vacation
Scroll Down For The Next Article