23-year-old niece tries to help homeschooled 13-year-old cousin who can't do his times tables, enrages aunt who thinks her teaching is just fine: 'Charlie needs to learn to be accountable to someone besides his mommy'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jun 5, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

People are so split on whether homeschooling is a good thing or a bad thing for a reason. Homeschoolers either grow up to be the biggest slackers who have very little common knowledge, or hardworking, professional, and incredibly smart. I've never met a former homeschooler who was totally middle of the road in every way: there's always something a little bit unique about them. Maybe that's because a lack of socialization creates a much more interesting person than a generic American high school ever could. Of course, there are public schoolers who grow up to be extremely productive overachievers and lazy slackers, too, but they stand out a lot less than homeschoolers. Everything homeschoolers do can be overanalyzed as a direct result of them having been homeschooled, but perhaps that's not right. A child getting a proper education that they can carry through their lifetime is far more important than the kind of schooling they receive. 

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  • 01

    AITA for calling my aunt neglectful because she doesn’t know why her son is behind in math?

    I (23F) was homeschooled in an online program with real classes, teachers, etc, not your typical homeschool experience. My aunt Susan (51F) has three kids, this concerns her two youngest, Charlie (13M) and Leo (9M). She homeschools her kids. Very freeform, chooses her own curriculum, no standardized
    via u/Quiet_Snail

  • The kids in this story are not getting a proper homeschool education. They are extremely behind in the most elementary of math concepts, and it's making their older cousin quite worried. She was also homeschooled, but she was clearly homeschooled by someone a lot more competent than her aunt. 

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10514240000
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    testing or real oversight. She complains a lot about how much work it is and how stressful and tiring it is. Sometimes their schooling takes a backseat to her working (work from home), or her severe depresion and other medical issues.
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10514240256
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    Charlie is behind in math to the point he still doesn't know his times tables and even adding and subtracting is slow for him. It frustrates him a lot. On my mom's last call with Susan (on speakerphone) I offered to tutor Charlie to get him up to grade
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 06
    with math because he's interested in going to irl high school. Susan laughed it off and said "I don't know that he struggles with it, I think he's just behind, but I don't know".
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 07
    My mom and I were a little shocked. Susan then said she'd pulled him out of a more structured homeschool program in the past because she didn't like having to come up with work samples every quarter. I said that wasn't unreasonable and suggested that a more structured program would be better for him
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 08
    4-toxx.
    via Giulia Squillace

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    if he wants to go into irl high school. Eventually after a lot of back and forth where she implied my mom picked my program because she was uninvolved while she (Susan) wants to be an involved parent, I got frustrated and told her Charlie needs to
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 10
    learn to be accountable to someone besides his mommy. She started crying, said she didn't feel very supported, and hung up.
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 11
    The next day I sent a text apologizing for my tone but made it clear that I think she needs to put him in a different program if she's not able to handle giving him homework and doesn't know why he's behind. I told her that I love her but I love him more and at this point this borders on neglect. And that she
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 12
    needs to let other people help her because she's harming them and risking her own health by trying to handle everything herself.
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 13
    She never responded. Later I heard from my grandma that Susan doesn't want to speak to me or my mom, see us, or have us hear about her life, basically that she's cut us off from her and the kids. My grandma said I
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 14
    shouldn't have said anything because Susan was hurt that "a child" critiqued her parenting. AITA for what I said and for pushing the issue?
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 15
    Pretty-Necessary-941 NTA. What she is doing is pretty much the definition of education negligence. Ring CPS ASAP.
    via u/Pretty-Necessary-941
  • 16
    Always-Adar-64 Educational neglect is very state specific. In most states, it is not a CPS coded maltreatment. It's often addressed primarily by the school board/district, more of bringing the family into a minimum sort of compliance (still very low).
    via u/Always-Adar-64
  • 17
    EDIT: About 50% of calls to CPS will be screened out, not investigated. Only about 10% of investigations result in intervention. Educational neglect has one of the highest thresholds for intervention if it's even a maltreatment in that state.
    via u/Always-Adar-64
  • 18
    Wasting AnotherHour She's the type of parent that gives homeschooling a bad reputation. Her poor kids, especially Charlie as it currently stands, are the kind that end up filling the homeschool recovery sub.
    via u/WastingAnotherHour
  • 19
    You probably could have found a better way to say it, but the message needed to be conveyed so I'll go NTA. Unfortunately, the way you presented it means that she's shut herself off from the people most in a position to help intervene on her son's behalf.
    via u/WastingAnotherHour
  • 20
    Quiet Snail OP That's honestly the most upsetting part of it to me, but i can't think of any scenario that involves discussing the issue AND her taking it well. She's not someone who changes her mind if that makes sense. She kicked my older cousin out when he was a teenager, then has said she doesn't know why things are strained between them. Just acknowledging that an issue exists will upset her.
    via u/Quiet_Snail
  • 21
    MarionberryPlus8474 NTA. IMO what your aunt is doing is a form of neglect. She is clearly incapable of home schooling her kids. I know parents who have home schooled and to do it right takes a LOT of work. It's not something you fit around working from home, depre sion, or watching cat videos. Your average parent might have a subject or two they like and or/ are competent to teach, tops, without a curriculum and a lot of work.
    via u/MarionberryPlus8474
  • 22
    Her kids are behind, and are going to fall further and further behind the longer this goes on. Many states have standards and requirements in order to home school (and sadly many don't). If you feel strongly about this see what the state regulations are where you live and see if the kids can get real schooling.
    via u/MarionberryPlus8474
  • 23
    LongjumpingSnow6986 Nta. She's mad because you're young and right and this started with you offering to help in an age- appropriate way. Embarrassing that the other adults in this situation won't intervene
    via u/LongjumpingSnow6986
  • 24
    LanaKisses You NTA. Your aunt is scared that someone got higher intellect than hers. She's afraid that her kids will be more knowledgeable than her. Clearly, she neglect the right education for her kids. If she's giving it right, her kid won't be behind or won't be having a hard time,
    via u/LanaKisses
  • 25
    PinkNGreenFluoride ΝΤΑ Obviously Susan's harming her kids and potentially herself with her particular arrangement. But your aunt and grandmother can both get the h_ll out with this "a child" crop. You're 23. And you were successfully educated through a homestudy program, so it's not like you have no idea what you are talking about anyway.
    via u/PinkNGreenFluoride

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