Girlfriend plans boyfriend's birthday week around her favorite hobbies, he publicly refuses to join: 'I told her I'm not doing that for my birthday'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jun 11, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

What makes the perfect gift?
Is it the thought that counts, the number of zeroes on the price tag or simply the fact that it comes from someone you love?

Then comes that awkward moment when your significant other hands you a little, shiny black box, tied with a perfectly neat velvet ribbon. You silently pray it's what you've been tirelessly hinting at in their Instagram DMs for months. But it never is. You open the box slowly, peeking inside… (cue the fake smile) and there it is: a necklace you'd never have chosen for yourself. I mean, when have you ever asked for a bright orange and blue butterfly pendant hanging from a thick rose gold chain?

"Breathe…and smile, breathe…and smile." this is what you tell yourself as you jump into their arms and confess your complete adoration for the gift. 

And yet, months later, you still wear it—because deep down, it's the thought that counts. They bought it thinking you'd love it, and that makes it special. Now what if that girl turned around and said, "Well he thought I would love it, so he must like it too." Decides to then march over to the store, buy the exact same shiny black box with the same velvet ribbon… and give it to him for his birthday.

Now that just wouldn't make sense, would it?

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  • This is certainly the case for this couple. After thoughtful boyfriend plans a week trip for his girlfriend's birthday, full of her favorite activities, she decides to return the favor. However, instead of planning his birthday week around his hobbies and the things she knows he loves, she decides to revolve it around all her passions and interests, sparking drama and a public refusal. 

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    "She got all teary-eyed but I didn't change my mind"
    via monkeybusinessimages

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA FOR NOT BEING HAPPY FOR MY BIRTHDAY PRESENT?

    Good afternoon Reddit long time listener first time writing here. This is a throwaway because most of my friends and family are
    via Campingallways
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    aware of the situation. I'm a 32 year old male joe lives a very active life for the most part. Case in point camping, bike climbing,
    via Campingallways
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    deep sea diving ect. I can't sit still for more than 5 hours at a time with out going crazy. I met my Girlfriend 27(F) of a year and a
    via Campingallways
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    half Kate at a rock climbing gym I frequent pretty often. K is the artist type goes to poetry nights, art exhibit, museums ect.
    via Campingallways
  • 06
    So every year since I was 18 for my birthday I going camping in this spot where you can camp, rock climb, cave dive and go
    via Campingallways
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    spelunking for a week. It's me my dad, my two brothers and six of my day one friends. This year for my girls birthday I took her to
    via Campingallways
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    New York spent the week doing all the artsy stuff she loves plays, poetry slam museum tours and art exhibitions. I be completely
    via Campingallways
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    honest I Was bored out of my mind but she was happy and I was happy she was happy. Well this year she wanted to
    via Campingallways
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    Cheezburger Image 10515472128
    via pixelshot

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    return the favor for me by planing my birthday week for me involving all the artsy stuff she love but I don't. She announced
    via Campingallways
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    this at a dinner party we shared with mutual friends. I told her I not doing that for my birthday day I'll do it again for hers next
    via Campingallways
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    year but not on my week. She got all teary eyed by I didn't change my mind. The friend group is divided most think love involves
    via Campingallways
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    doing this you don't won't to do to keep your partner happy. The other with me thinking of you doing something for someone
    via Campingallways
  • 15
    else for their birthday you do things they like to do. She been very short with me for the last two days we don't live together. So Reddit AITA?
    via Campingallways
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    Friendly Ordinary_80 I'm going to say NTA for not wanting to do what she has planned, but you are the AH for how you told her no. I often tell my kids and husband that it's not always about what you say, but it's about HOW you say it, that gets offensive and causes hurt feelings.
    via Friendly_Ordinary_80
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    Campingallways OP It was a gut reaction. I laughed first and when I realized she was serious I said h I no I'm not doing that.
    via Campingallways
  • 18
    ProfessorDistinct835 NTA and it's hard for me to imagine that anyone is really divided about this. You planned a thoughtful week for her birthday doing the things she loves. You'd like to spend your birthday as you always have since you were 18.
    via ProfessorDistinct835
  • 19
    Cryp7ld Even though the timing of it sued, I'm gonna say NTA. Your girlfriend made plans for your birthday based on what she enjoys doing, not what you like doing. You have the right to do something you like on your birthday.
    via Cryp7ld
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    Egbert_64 NTA but she seems self centered. I need to ask have you told her what you enjoy and that you would like to do x or y with her? Try it see if that helps. Unfortunately for some ppl you need to spell it out.
    via Egbert_64
  • 21
    Myboneshurt42 h... So for YOUR birthday she announced that she'll be doing what SHE likes?? What?? NTA
    via Myboneshurt4*0helps
  • 22
    ObjectiveFocusGaming you should have said something in private, for sure.
    via ObjectiveFocusGaming

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boyfriend relationship advice gifts presents birthday Awkward friends relationships girlfriend couples birthday present dating advice
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