PhD student, fed up with her caffeinated coworker Anne, plans to take back her coffee maker when she graduates, leaving Anne to brew alone: ‘She stopped making coffee at her home because she knows she can make it at work. I am her source of caffeine’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jun 15, 2025 7:00 AM EDT

Few workplace dramas are as quietly charged as the shared appliance power struggle. And for these Phds, it's the office coffee maker, that battered little shrine to sanity which, for three glorious years, dispensed liquid motivation to exactly one loyal subject. Then came Anne, the self-appointed queen of inconvenience, marching in with her nice-enough smile and an endless parade of opinions, unsolicited chats, and a caffeine habit so opportunistic it makes freeloading an art. Suddenly, the humble thrift-shop brewer becomes Anne's personal Starbucks, while our girl, the person who actually brought it, is forced deeper into the remote-working wilds to escape her ambushes about dishwashers and the "importance of team small talk."

Anne, who somehow turns every exchange into a TED Talk on her perceived superiority, quickly turns your coffee machine into her life-support system. The fact that she stopped brewing at home because your machine is available just adds insult to caffeinated injury. Now graduation looms and you are faced with a moral dilemma: leave Anne in a state of caffeine withdrawal, or let her keep leeching off your generosity far into the future.

The universe is dangling the sweet possibility of petty justice in the breakroom, sticking it to Anne one last time. But you resist. You rise above and leave her the machine, because sometimes growth means knowing you could be petty, but choosing to let the next STEMer inherit the mess.

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  • WIBTA: Taking my coffee maker with me when I leave my current job

    "For 3 years, I was the only one to use the coffee maker"
    via Jacob Lund

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I'm getting ready to wrap up my 5- year PhD in STEM, and I'm moving on to bigger and better things in the world of medical research.
    via spiteful_frog
  • Something you need to know about STEM folks is that we tend to be caffeine addicts. Coffee, tea, energy drinks, the works. However, for about the first 3 years of my
    via spiteful_frog
  • Cheezburger Image 10516709632
    via Bongkarngraphic

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • program, I was the only coffee drinker on my team. Everyone else drank tea or soda. I'm a coffee addict, so I own 2-3 coffee makers at any given time (I keep crappy ones from thrift shops on standby
    via spiteful_frog
  • in case my nice one gives out). I brought one said crappy coffee maker to my work so I'd have access to fresh coffee. For 3 years, I was the only one to use it.
    via spiteful_frog
  • In year 4, enter a new postdoctoral associate. Let's call her Anne.
    via spiteful_frog
  • Cheezburger Image 10516709888
    via Dean Drobot

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Anne is...a nice person. Friendly. The kind of person you'd take your lunch breaks with or chat with at a company outing. But she's difficult to work with. I don't know if it's because she has her PhD and I
    via spiteful_frog
  • don't yet, or if it's because she's 10 years older than me, but her superiority complex got to me quickly. She's always right, and my input is irrelevant (even though I'm more experienced in our field). She
    via spiteful_frog
  • sees the good in everyone, which is great except that she never believes me or any of our colleagues when we say another employee has been r de or negligent in their work. And she's
    via spiteful_frog
  • very distracting, always wanting to make small talk and refusing to listen when I say I'm too busy to chat. She will literally insert herself into my personal space, hovering around my desk until I agree to
    via spiteful_frog
  • chat with her about usually total nonsense (for example, one time she wanted to have a whole conversation about dishwashers...). It's gotten bad enough that I've primarily moved to a remote/hybrid work setting just to get things done.
    via spiteful_frog
  • Anne is also a coffee addict. For the first time in over 4 years, my crappy little coffee maker had a second user. And I was happy to share the machine. Now, she uses it every day, sometimes more than
    via spiteful_frog
  • once per day. She's admitted that she's stopped making coffee at her home because she knows she can make it at work. I am her source of caffeine.
    via spiteful_frog
  • Except now I'm graduating. I'm leaving for good. Thus begs the question: would I be the a hole if I took my coffee maker with me? On one hand, I'm a nice person, and I know Anne will get lots of use out of the machine. I also own
    via spiteful_frog
  • a nice coffee maker don't technically NEED the crappy little machine, and won't need to bring my own coffee maker to my new job becausse they provide free coffee to employees. On the other
    via spiteful_frog
  • hand, Anne hasn't exactly been a great coworker. She's made it hard for me to feel productive and intelligent in my position, and I'm petty. So, would I be the ah le?
    via spiteful_frog
  • EDIT: I've decided to leave it. Being petty is swell and all but people are right that I don't need this machine and you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
    via spiteful_frog
  • Additionally, I find it funny how many people assume I'm a sexist man, when in fact I'm just an irritated woman.
    via spiteful_frog

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management boss workplace-stories hr manager phd bosses work stem PTO managers supervisor workplace Horrible Bosses work-life balance
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