Freelancing brother refuses to babysit niece after sister claims he is unemployed, he says she must find someone else as she does not respect him, causing full family feud: 'Come on, you're at home all day anyway. You're basically unemployed'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jun 21, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

Family comes first, but what does that actually mean? 

Siblings, especially brothers and sisters, often grow up teasing, mocking, and challenging each other. It's a typical childhood phase full of name-calling, hand-throwing and trying to most accurately describe the stalk that dropped them off at our parent's doorstep. It's chaos, yet familiar, and more often than not, it's harmless. 

However, as we grow older and begin building lives of our own, suddenly those insults start to sting a bit deeper than they used to. Maybe it's because we care more deeply about the opinions of those we love. Maybe it's because the things we once laughed off now echo our own insecurities. Either way, adulthood no longer forces us to live under the same roof and accept the hurtful jabs, disguised as sibling banter, being thrown our way. Because of this, there is a lot more room for division and resentment to fester and allow for cracks to form in the foundation of the family home.

So does family strictly come first when there is mutual respect, or is family forever, irrespective of diverging perspectives and values? 

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  • This sibling dispute is a perfect example. The freelancing brother, who is doing fairly well for himself, is constantly belittled by his sister, who claims he is “unemployed” simply because he works remotely. So, when she suddenly needs a favor and asks her brother to babysit her daughter, he kindly declines. If respect isn’t mutual, how can anyone expect favors in return?

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    "If you think I'm unemployed, then figure out your own childcare. Don't ask for favors from someone you don't respect"
    via rido

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    I (28M) work from home as a freelance graphic designer. It's not a typical 9-5, but I have clients, deadlines, and I make a decent living. My sister (35F)
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  • 03
    works in an office and has a 4- year-old daughter. A few days ago, she called me and asked if I could watch her
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    daughter for the day because her sitter canceled last minute. I said I couldn't. I had back-to-back deadlines and meetings. She got annoyed and said,
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  • 05
    "Come on, you're at home all day anyway. You're basically unemployed." That really pred me off. I've
    via Cuisinegizmo
  • 06
    dealt with a lot of people not taking freelancing seriously, but hearing that from my own sister hit hard. I snapped a bit and told her,
    via Cuisinegizmo
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    "If you think I'm unemployed, then figure out your own childcare. Don't ask for favors from someone you don't respect."
    via Cuisinegizmo
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    Cheezburger Image 10518252544
    via peopleimages-yuriarcurs

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    Later, my mom called and said I was too harsh and should have just helped "for family." I don't mind helping occasionally, but
    via Cuisinegizmo
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    not when I'm disrespected and expected to drop everything just because I work remotely. Now my sister isn't talking to me,
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    and my mom thinks I'm being petty. But I don't think it's fair to guilt me into something when my work is treated like it doesn't matter. AITAH?
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  • 12
    Able Photograph2698 Nta working from home and freelance honestly requires you be more focused on your work schedule and have less freedom in a lot of cases
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    because there isn't a structured 9-5 and you have to be willing to put in work at odd hours. Your personal life
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    has to be flexible to accommodate your work life more. Sure, there are times when you have more freedom to determine your own schedule, but there are also
    via Able_Photograph2698
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    times when you have to really be strict with your work schedule and you go by the client's deadlines not your own. I hate how many people don't get that.
    via Able_Photograph2698
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    Cuisinegizmo OP Exactly, freelancing doesn't mean you're free all day. You still have to work hard and follow the client's deadlines.
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    BlowtorchBettie ΝΤΑ Don't worry, they'll start talking when they want something, consider this a vacation.
    via BlowtorchBettie
  • 18
    cgrobin1 Tell mom to do it herself. You have work to do. If someone insults you, you should have the right to tell them to F' off when they want a favor.
    via cgrobin1
  • 19
    MagicianMurky976 So she expected you to work while caring for her child, yet she couldn't do the same and take her daughter to work?? Did she even offer to pay you?
    via MagicianMurky976
  • 20
    Deep Mood_7668 How did you figure out that your sister isn't talking to you? You should be the one not talking to your sister. NTA
    via Deep_Mood_7668
  • 21
    SubarcticFarmer NTA, she can find someone she can hire to do it or call out sick. Even if she wasn't disrespectful, you have work to do and couldn't do it.
    via SubarcticFarmer
  • 22
    CharmingWarning9611 NTA but next time tell her that you can't as you're job hunting. And also why would mum not drop everything last minute to babysit?
    via CharmingWarning9611
  • 23
    JosKarith NTA - the lesson "don't insult the person you're asking a favour from " will be way more valuable to your sister than free babysitting
    via JosKarith
  • 24
    izzylizzt NTA. You had work and she disrespected it. If she thinks you're. "basically unemployed". she shouldnt expect free childcare. Family doesn't mean ignoring boundaries......
    via izzylizzt

Tags

family dynamics family drama work from home brother siblings Professional At Work askreddit niece family feud babysitting family sister Reddit
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