'It's either him or the dog': 20-year-old wife faces heartbreaking ultimatum from jealous 21-year-old husband who demands she choose between him and her emotional support dog

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Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jun 20, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

This is a ruff and emotional situation where a husband's growing jealousy has put a young couple in crisis. A 20-year-old woman has raised her dog from birth, bottle-feeding him and forming a deep, unshakable bond. The pup became her emotional support animal who follows her everywhere, offers comfort, and helps her feel safe.

But this close connection has left her 21-year-old husband feeling overlooked and insecure. Though the dog accepts him, the husband believes he's second in his wife's heart, like the dog has taken his place in the home. Feeling put out, the husband has spent nights away, staying with family and fueling tension that's hard to ignore.

Eventually, his hurt and frustration boiled over into an ultimatum: it's him or the dog. Despite emotional arguments and painful conversations, she's standing firm, unwilling to give up the animal that helps her cope. Now, the couple is stuck in a heartbreaking standoff, where jealousy and love are tangled in a situation with no easy answers.

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  • 01
    'He thinks I love the dog more then him'
    via Ivan Babydov from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (20f) live in an apartment with my husband (21m) with our dog we've been married for 2½ years and i got the dog 6 months into our marriage. When i got it its eyes werent even open yet. I bottle fed it and i was the first thing it saw when its eyes finally did open. I've raised that dog for 2 years now and have grown extremely attached. Wherever I go it goes.
    via u/Similar_Pin_9154
  • 03
    When I sleep it sleeps. It follows me to the bathroom, lays in there when I Im taking a shower or just using the toilet, eats when I eat, literally everything. Im so emotionally attached that its been made my emotional support animal.
    via u/Similar_Pin_9154
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10518884608
    via simarik / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    Before we moved into our apartment he went missing for 2 days I was so emotionally detatched that I didn't leave the room at all except to go to work. He was found after 2 days. Im pretty sure I have pcos so I look at my dog as if he was my actual child since I've raised him and have had him for so long. He
    via u/Similar_Pin_9154
  • 06
    listens to only me and he doesn't like other people except my husband. But my husband doesn't like him. He thinks I love the dog more then him. I've told him thats not true and try to show him this. He doesn't listen. My husband has gotten where he goes to his families house and spends the night or a couple of days to a week
    via u/Similar_Pin_9154
  • 07
    there. And since im alone at the house i feel better have my dog since hes a bigger breed (shepsky). He lets me know if someones outside and alot of the neighbors are scared of him so they dont bother me.
    via u/Similar_Pin_9154
  • 08
    This pass Thursday my husband told me he was going to his dad's for the weekend. I didn't think much about it and he left. The next day he texts me telling me he's decided he's leaving me because its either him or the dog and tells me to explain why i need the dog. explain to him. Thats not good enough. Back and fourth until
    via u/Similar_Pin_9154
  • 09
    sunday we argue over it and he comes back to get some clothes and tells me hes decided hes not leaving anymore and will come back soon and just needs a break at his dads. I say ok. Today he gives me the ultimatum again and im standing firm. Im absolutely destroyed right now but i dont want to get rid of the dog because i wont be the same if he leaves. I dont know what to do.
    via u/Similar_Pin_9154
  • 10
    Cheezburger Image 10518885120
    via Africa images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    FoxUsual745 I'm afraid if you get rid of the dog, your husband might try this tactic again. "Do x or I'm leaving you." Unless there's a HUGE part of the story you aren't telling us, like the dog has attacked him multiple times and put him in the hospital and your husband is literally not safe in your home, it is not ok to give you an ultimatum
    via u/FoxUsual745
  • 12
    I'm sorry. I know you're in for a heartbreak no matter what you chose, it's unfair. But, the dog didn't put you in this situation, the man did. I bet there's a whole online support group for people who chose the pet over the spouse when given an ultimatum.
    via u/FoxUsual745
  • 13
    athiestvegan The dog is an excuse for you both to get out of a relationship you don't want to be in. Just throw in the towel, already!
    via u/athiestvegan
  • 14
    ParisianFrawnchFry This isn't about the dog. Dissolve the marriage. Move on.
    via u/ParisianFrawnchFry

  • It sounds like the dog might just be the tip of the iceberg. There’s probably more going on beneath the surface that’s creating this tension. Maybe time for an honest, deeper conversation.

  • 15
    COTimberline It sounds like the marriage is basically over for the various reasons presented here. Please don't lose sight that your dog needs some training. Is it being socialized with other animals and people? Is there separation anxiety when you leave? If so, this is not healthy for the dog and you owe the dog the work you would have put into your marriage.
    via u/COTimberline
  • 16
    Positive_Wiglet Your big mistake was getting married while you were still children. Now you are just starting to get to know your husband as an adult. It's hardly surprising that you didn't expect this sulky posturing. Tell him to get his head together or leave for good.
    via u/Positive_Wiglet
  • 17
    yummyspoiledmilk Do you even go out with your husband? Like, without the dog. Do you have any alone time together without the dog involved?
    via u/yummyspoiledmilk

  • The husband might be feeling a bit neglected. Setting aside one-on-one time without the dog, like a weekly date night, could help them reconnect and ease some of that tension. 

  • 18
    TheToymakerKris Are we just gonna ignore that the dogs goes everywhere and does everything with her ? She the dog was missing she says she shut down completely and only able to go to work?
    via u/TheToymakerKris
  • 19
    Ignore that she got the dog AFTER she got married and made the dog the center of her world while she was a newly wed? This isn't all on the guy, although he's handling it wrong.
    via u/TheToymakerKris
  • 20
    Couples therapy is needed if you want any hope to save your marriage. Also personal therapy can't hurt.
    via u/TheToymakerKris

  • The husband’s feelings are understandable, but he’s handling it the wrong way with ultimatums. A neutral third party, like a counselor, might really help them work through this together. 

  • 21
    eaton011 NTA, and honestly, this isn't about the dog, this is about control. Your husband gave you an ultimatum because he thought you'd cave. You didn't. Now he's realizing the dog isn't the problem, it's that he can't dictate your emotions, your priorities, or your autonomy.
    via u/eaton011
  • 22
    You've had this dog for two years. You bottle-fed it. It's your emotional support animal. And now he wants it gone because... he's jealous? Of a dog? That's not love. That's insecurity weaponized
    via u/eaton011
  • 23
    Anyone who makes you choose between a living creature you've raised and your relationship isn't trying to solve a problem, they're trying to erase a part of you. If he's threatened by your bond with a dog, how's he going to react if you have a child, or a career that demands your attention, or any source of fulfillment that doesn't revolve around him?
    via u/eaton011
  • 24
    This might feel like it's "just about the dog," but it's not. It's about whether your partner respects your boundaries and emotional well-being. And from what you've described? He doesn't. Choose the dog. H I, choose yourself.
    via u/eaton011

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