21-year-old grows tired of babysitting unruly 4-year-old niece and siblings, sister retaliates by cancelling 4th July celebrations: 'I explained to her that it isn't my responsibility'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 18, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

It is unfortunate that many parents don't actually want to do a lot of parenting. You might think it was obvious that if you have a kid, you have to take responsibility for taking care of the kid, but time and again, certain moms and dads prove they would rather do anything than that. Nobody is saying that childcare is easy, but when you make that kind of commitment, there is no backing out of it.

Nonetheless, that is exactly what many parents get away with on a regular basis. Free and regular babysitting is a goldmine for pretty much anyone with kids, but especially when they are not too fond of doing their job. The target can vary from friends, to neighbors, to the most common of all, family members, and after a certain point, it often leads to tension because of the parent's refusal to be the primary carer for their own children.

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  • 01

    AITA for not being responsible for my sister’s kids?

    The other day, my sister came to visit my dad & bought everyone some food to celebrate father's day. For context, my sister has 3 children: a 10 year old, a 4 year old, and a 3 year old. My 4 year old niece has a myriad of behavioral problems & she doesn't listen to authority at all. For some more context, my dad asked me to clean the house & cook some dinner for him. My dad isn't able to easily move around to do these things himself, so I happily did it for him since I'm a broke, freshly 21 yea
    via Wild-Bear-7952
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10518897408
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One young woman faced this issue when her sister brought her three kids to their dad's house and expected her younger sibling to take control of the childcare. One of her kids in particular caused problems, throwing things and terrorizing pets.

    When the family left, the mom expressed irritation that her sister had tried to bring this behavior to her attention during the visit. The woman texted her afterwards to express that she didn't feel it was her responsibility to parent her nieces and nephews, leading the mom to shut down and announce she was cancelling the family 4th July celebration that she had been planning. The younger sister wanted to know if she had gone too far.

  • 03
    So, before my sister left, I kept trying to bring this behavior to her attention, but all she did was sit on her phone & say she was tired, completely ignoring the child and her actions. Then, while she was leaving, she said she was irritated with me because in her opinion, it was annoying to hear me "b" about her child's behavior. I texted her later to apologize just in case she felt like she was under pressure or anything, but I also explained to her that it isn't my responsibility to watch he
    via Wild-Bear-7952
  • 04
    During our argument, she stated that I shouldn't text her & that my apology wasn't genuine. She also stated that she did so much for me & implied that I was ungrateful because I didn't want to deal with her child. I don't know many genuine people who would do something for you & then hold it over your head once you place a boundary they don't like. My sister dumps her children on people constantly, and especially on me, and so she thinks that gives her the excuse to step back & not intervene whe
    via Wild-Bear-7952
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    Cheezburger Image 10518906112
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06

    Commenters assured her she wasn't overreacting.

    gloryhokinetic NTA. Tell you sis that due to her attitude, you will not be providing ANY child care for the foreseeable future. Then leave ALL her texts on read. You can do it. DONT open the replies.
    via gloryhokinetic
  • 07
    Sea-Payment-1988 NTA. Being family doesn't mean being a free babysitter, especially for a kid who's acting like a tornado with fists. You set a boundary-she didn't like it, so she threw a tantrum. Wonder where her kid learned it.
    via Sea-Payment-1988
  • 08
    zoegi 104 NTA. Make your own plans for a peaceful 4th. Tell your sister to keep the party as planned and you will not attend. If she refuses, you'll know she is trying to rile up the family against you. Telling them it is all your fault that the party is cancelled.....
    via zoegi104
  • 09
    NTA LawfulnessOne6476 You spent the whole day cleaning and cooking for your dad. That's already a full plate. Your sister showing up and refusing to intervene when her 4-year-old is hurting people and animals is irresponsible. Her reaction of cancelling July 4th is petty and manipulative.
    via LawfulnessOne6476
  • 10
    Motor_Dark6406 NTA, She's letting her kid act up in other people's homes and at a pitbull? She's going to be in for a r de awakening one day when that kid gets seriously hurt. But of course that won't be her fault either, I'm sure.
    via Motor_Dark6406
  • 11
    NTA. gimmeluvin I actually feel you shouldn't have apologized at all. She's one of those people who visits their misery on others, literally. I'm no stranger to family dysfunction. After decades of seeing and being involved in family drama, I can say my perspective has changed about one thing: in the waning years, once drama tends to calm down and members of the family become fewer and fewer, mending fences becomes a thing. Those children are going to grow up. Maybe they will be ah_les. Maybe no
    via gimmeluvin
  • 12
    SquidyLovesMusic "In her words, since I'm her aunt I need to deal with HER child, and that I don't see her kids that much anyway (since I'm usually away at college for a lot of my year) so I have to deal with it." Thats not how it works, they're her kids so theyre her responsibility to watch over etc. She needs to parent her kids.
    via SquidyLovesMusic
  • 13
    Victor-Grimm NTA-My sister does this crop to my parents. My parents wonder why I don't visit often (live across the country) and I have said multiple times that all we do is sit around because my niece is there all the time even when they are not watching her. We can't make plans because she randomly shows up and you both drop everything for her.
    via Victor-Grimm
  • 14
    Previous Pin597 YT A for apologizing and for not protecting the animals harder, but NTA for your sister's mess. Use your words instead of "trying to bring this behavior to her attention" FFS. "Hey, get your kid!" in a sharp tone repeatedly. She's relying on you to cave and let her do what she wants.
    via PreviousPin597
  • 15
    Wild-Bear-7952 I would've hit the character limit if I explained this, but I did end up putting the animals away & I did tell her to get her kid verbally but she ignored all of it. Thank you for the insight, I probably shouldn't have apologized.
    via Wild-Bear-7952
  • 16
    cmpg2006 NTA. Bad parent leaves their kid with me; they will be learning what discipline is.
    via cmpg2006
  • 17
    Civil_Individual_431 You are NTA. Your sister needs to handle her own children. Your niece acts the way she does because your sister doesn't parent her. You didn't owe her an apology. Sometimes we need to go low contact with people who ignore our boundaries, just a little advice. It doesn't matter what she has done for you, you don't owe her anything. Her bringing that type thing up is an ab e tactic.
    via Civil_Individual_431
  • 18
    HandBananasRevenge NTA. Your sister is just mad that you are wise to her game and called her out on it. People who push back on boundaries are red flags, especially when said boundary was literally asking them to parent their own child. Also, two hours around a bratty, misbehaving kid can feel like two weeks....
    via HandBananasRevenge
  • 19
    rn12hr NTA. Oh my god your sister is a nightmare. Hopefully she'll stay mad and good riddance. The less entitled, gaslighting narcissists in your life the better. Go low/no contact with her guilt free.
    via rn12hr
  • 20
    SLevine262 She just gave you a wonderful gift. Don't have to deal attitude and feral children? Woo with her hoo!
    via SLevine262
  • 21
    Sweet_Vanilla46 Oh no you won't be invited to hang out with her and her feral children on July 4th.... Omg whatever shall you do?!?! She doesn't want to hear from you or dump her kids on you because you won't be responsible for her little heathens when she's Sitting. Right. There. Ohhhhhh nooooo tell her to keep that energy when she asks to dump them on you again, because she absolutely will. NTA
    via Sweet_Vanilla46
  • 22
    NTA EchoMountain158 But grow a backbone. You don't apologize to someone who is as clearly entitled and in the wrong as your sister. It reinforces their bad behavior and emboldens them. You are not the parent. It's her job. Period. Take your pets and isolate them behind a locked door when they come over. Put everything valuable away. Once this is done, seclude yourself with your pets and lock the door. Let her kids terrorize her and your father. When he gets fed up she'll lose any leverage she ha
    via EchoMountain158

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family drama 4th july aita niece parenting babysitting family sister reddit thread Reddit mom
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