13-year-old sister forced to raise 1, 3, and 4-year-old siblings instead of parents, she cuts contact completely 7 years later, refuses to reconnect despite their attempts: ‘I’m not your mom’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jun 12, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Which sibling has the worst fate? The oldest, the youngest, or those stuck in the middle?

As a middle child myself, in most cases, I would say we have the worst fate. Our birth is not as exciting as the firstborn's, and we definitely do not get as much attention as the youngest. We are always the forgotten ones; we get into all the fights with our other siblings, and we're just generally no one's favorite. At some point, we all learn to live with this fate, but we're definitely the worst ones off.

However, if you have the misfortune of being the oldest sibling of more than 3 younger ones, you may very well be much more entitled to the crown than any middle child out there. Being the eldest when your parents never stop popping out more and more kids usually means that you will be forced to raise those kids yourself. And that is a much worse fate than any forgotten birthday of a middle child.

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  • The fate of the oldest sister in the story below is definitely one of the worst. She was forced to raise her youngest siblings while her parents focused on their business, and for 7 years, she was basically their mom.

    When she decided to move out and cut contact, her siblings did not take it well. Keep scrolling to read the full story.

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    via oksanashufrych

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for refusing a relationship with my three youngest siblings who wanted me and my younger sister to be their moms again?

    I (34F) was parentified alongside my younger sister (32F). Our parents started a business together after our youngest sibling was born and they didn't want to
    via Mission-Crow9728
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    waste money on childcare so they pulled us out of public school, enrolled us in a homeschooling program and they left us to raise our three youngest siblings
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    from the ages of 1, 3 and 4. We were 11 and 13 at the time and it was way too much. On top of taking care of siblings we had to keep the house in order. As the
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    oldest I was expected to use the money left at the house to buy groceries for the whole family and I was expected to be in charge of preparing meals for
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    everyone to eat and my dad especially had very strict instructions about what he would eat. For dinner it always had to be steak and mashed potatoes with kale
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    and peppers. He wouldn't eat anything else and if I made spaghetti for him when I did it for everyone else he would be PI. SED. He even blamed my sister for
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    not doing it herself when she got a little older. Even at night we were expected to take care of crying kids or nightmares.
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    Our parents told us that they needed to be well rested for work and shouldn't be up with kids. We'd get into trouble if our younger siblings got too loud and woke them up.
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    My sister and I really bonded and I stayed with my parents until she was old enough to leave with me and we left together. I know our departure would
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    have caused a lot of chaos but we left and we did not look back. We went NC with our parents and our youngest siblings and we didn't ever expect to have any contact with them again.
    via Mission-Crow9728
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    Cheezburger Image 10516689920
    via Kangah

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    But a few months ago all three of our younger siblings reached out and said they missed us. By the third or fourth message from them it was so clear they wanted us to be their
    via Mission-Crow9728
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    parents again and they came out and said it when my sister set up a video call with them. I told them that was not our job and never should have been. I said
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    they were old enough now to realize this. My sister said she agreed with me. Our younger siblings said we were the only parents they knew and we were their
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    moms for years and they let us know there was a lot of resentment there because we didn't take them with us. My sister tried to encourage them to seek some help so
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    maybe a relationship would be possible but I said clearly that I was not going to be their mom and NC was the way to go away. When they protested I told them I did not want a relationship with
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    them and would not be forced to have one. My sister tried to get through to them a little while longer but she went full NC again too.
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    We both had to private any social media profiles because they were using their friends accounts and maybe even some random roommates accounts to
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    contact us. They feel like wel owe them more than NC and are essentially their parents whether we like it or not. AITA?
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    derek_crona Absolutely NTA Your parents are the AHs here big time. They completely shirked their responsibilities and put an unfair burden on you and your sister.
    via derek_crona
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    It's understandable that your younger siblings miss you but it's not your responsibility to parent them. You deserve to live your own life.
    via derek_crona
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    I was forced to take care of my younger brother a lot growing up though thankfully not to that extreme and it really messed with our relationship. You made the right choice for your own well-being.
    via derek_crona
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    SkyLess6813 NTA. You were robbed of your childhood. It's sad, but it's too much to ask for anyone to fill the role of a parent when they're still a child themselves. You owe them nothing. Their resentment should be directed at your parents, not you.
    via SkyLess6813
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    Kamis_Pagi NTA. Why do some parents do this? Why have multiple kids if you can't raise them properly yourself?
    via Kamis_Pagi

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