Live-in mother-in-law constantly walks in to bedroom of 28-year-old son and fiancée, protests when daughter-in-law starts locking the door: 'She's accusing me of locking her son away like a prisoner'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jun 21, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Perhaps the only thing more difficult than finding love with somebody else is getting to love their family when things get serious. Almost everybody has their weak points and hang-ups when it comes to their closest relatives, and this is something that only gets amplified when they get into a relationship. In-laws have been known to jeopardize even the strongest of bonds when they don't behave appropriately, something that can be more common than a lot of people think.

For women who date men, perhaps the biggest risk they face with their in-law connections is the overbearing boy mom. These types of mothers will often stop at nothing to try to be involved in their son's lives to a degree that is totally incompatible with being in a romantic relationship. Their behavior can scale outrageous heights, and most of the time, they don't accept when they get reprimanded for it, either.

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  • 01

    AIO for locking the bedroom door so my fiancé’s mom stops sneaking in?

    I (26F) live with my fiancé (28M) and his mom (she moved in temporarily after a surgery... 9 months ago). She's mostly harmless, but she has this creepy habit of just walking into our bedroom unannounced, sometime even when we're sleeping or I'm changing. I've brought it up multiple times, and she says, "I'm like your second mom, don't be shy around me." Um. No.
    via Ornery-Weather-5107
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10519395328
    via Alexander Mass

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One woman found herself struggling with this after she took steps to prevent her fiancé's mom from constantly walking into their bedroom. She had been staying with them after recovering from surgery and had developed the annoying habit of stopping by their private space on a regular basis.

    After the daughter-in-law realized that she was not listening to her protests, she began locking the bedroom door at night. This greatly upset her in-law to be, and she wanted to know if she had overreacted.

  • 03
    I've brought it up multiple times, and she says, "I'm like your second mom, don't be shy around me." Um. No. Last week, I finally got fed up and started locking our door at night. She knocked six times that first night, saying she needed "help with her TV." I told her she'd have to wait until morning. Now she's furious and accusing me of "creating division in the house" and "locking her son away like a prisoner." My fiancé says I should've handled it differently but also agrees it's weird that s
    via Ornery-Weather-5107
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10519395584
    via Nicole Bomar
  • 05

    Outsiders warned her about her relationship to both mother and son.

    Becalmandkind NOR. Time for a sit-down with the fiancé. How long is she going to stay? Need house rules and HE needs to stand up for you in your request for privacy. He thinks you could have handled it better? When you'd already brought it up with her multiple times? He needs to step up and handle the situation.
    via Becalmandkind
  • 06
    DewdropMuses He should have stepped up to set boundaries, its creepy if she keeps entering a couples room without knocking or being asked to come inside, it's not cool at all, you should have a constructive conversation with you fiancé and know how long her stay is for and how boundaries has to be set.
    via DewdropMuses
  • 07
    Nomijenn Lock your door. And when she knocks, shut up. Let your Fiance handle all communications. That's his mom. If he wants to get up and help her, that's fine. And he needs to tell her to stay out of your room. It's his job to manage her, not yours. Don't get between them. It'll only make it easier for him to back off and for her to step up.
    via Nomijenn
  • 08
    Traditional_Fan_2655 I'm a MiL. She has crossed too many boundaries. I don't even WANT to walk in their room. I've kept stuff at the door even if they are not in their room. Ew. What if she walked in and saw something? I do not need to see my kid that way. I'm glad they found each other. I don't need to be a witness.
    via Traditional_Fan_2655
  • 09
    chocolatechipwizard You didn't agree to having your boyfriend's mother as a roommate when you agreed to cohabit, did you? Are you paying part of the rent? When mommy gets older, she's going to be there forever, and ever, and ever. Might already be, by the sound of things. Surprise, you will then be mommy's caretaker. I would be so out of there...
    via chocolatechipwizard
  • 10
    trashcxnt 9 months isn't temporary. I'd have a sit down with them to see where she is on preparing to move back out. She can't piggyback off you guys unless you both want to be so sick of her that she ends up in a nursing home (/j). It is your home, not hers, you are allowed to have privacy and a life with your fiancé. She is simply a guest that refuses to realize that, so unfortunately she has forced this convo on for all 3 of you. Of course, you can make this slightly better/easier by talking
    via trashcxnt
  • 11
    isntval9 Take this as a test before your wedding. Sit him down and see how he responds. If he defends his mum too much, does not validate your feelings and cant set boundaries with your MIL, you know its time to rethink. From personal experience, Once a mum's boy, will always be a mum's boy.
    via isntval9
  • 12
    Right-Invite-1301 Dude... that's creepy. Reminds me of mother in laws who call their granddaughter/grandsons "their baby" "our baby" "MY baby"
    via Right-Invite-1301
  • 13
    brent_bent Kick her out, she's disrespectful and disruptive. Either he grows a spine to do that, because it's his mom so his duty, or she'll be ruining your life forever. You deserve privacy and respect. "I am not looking for a second mom and I'm not your child to be told to be less shy around your invasive behavior. You will treat me like an equal adult or you will get out of my home I've been graciously letting you live in for free for almost a year."
    via brent_bent
  • 14
    EnvironmentEuphoric9 Your future MIL will eventually be living with you permanently is my guess and she will be a huge pain in the a . NOR.
    via EnvironmentEuphoric9
  • 15
    bizianka Be straightforward with your fiancé and ask if he wants her to interrupt your adult time together or what? He doesn't want privacy and intimacy? If he wouldn't do anything about it, if I were you, I would postpone the wedding until he cuts his umbilical cord. NTA
    via bizianka
  • 16
    smlpkg1966 Time to move out. She is all healed from surgery and needs to go home. If you stay this is your new life. For ever!! She will never move out. He will never stand up to her. She will decide when you get married. She will decide what house you buy because she will also be moving in. She will decide when it's time to have babies and she will name them. She WILL be in the delivery room and be the first to hold the baby. (Even before you because she will take it right out of the nurses han
    via smlpkg1966
  • 17
    Endsln-ing That's so strange. What is her plan for leaving? She needs to know the timeline and be reminded she is a guest. But unless it is actually your house too (not you living in your partner's house), then your conversation needs to be with your partner. Either she goes or I do.
    via EndsIn-ing
  • 18
    Numerical-Wordsmith Confront her about it politely. Be nice. Use a sweet tone. Make it really weird. Along the lines of "Of course I'm not locking our BEDROOM door to create conflict or make you feel left out. It's just that this is our private space, and we're two adults who might be changing or doing private adult things when we're in there. I'm sure you understand. And don't worry, fiancé is definitely not a prisoner. He knows how to open and unlock doors and can get out of the room whenever
    via Numerical-Wordsmith
  • 19
    Ok_Objective8366 She needs to move out. It's been 9 Months so she is not recovering any longer. No you handled it like an adult and if he doesn't handle her then you had to. I would continue to standup for yourself and privacy
    via Ok_Objective8366
  • 20
    Hopeful-Artichoke449 OP thinks she is staying "temporarily ".. 3000
    via Hopeful-Artichoke449
  • 21
    Swimming Tennis6641 Sorry but it's ultimatum time for the fiancé, either mommy moves out or you do. Look at the Just no MIL sub for your future if you don't nip it in the bud now.
    via Swimming_Tennis6641
  • 22
    Prosecco 1234 I knock before entering my children's rooms and they aren't cohabitating
    via Prosecco1234
  • 23
    Electronic_Wait_7500 The bad news is your future MIL isn't there temporarily. She's there to stay and her baby boy is not only fine with that, but he won't be backing you up on setting boundaries. On anything. EVER. The good news is that you haven't married him yet. You still have time to find yourself a man who isn't fine with mommy being in your bedroom at night!
    via Electronic_Wait_7500
  • 24
    NOR Extension-Clock608 Why are you not making your BF handle his mother??? IMO, this isn't a MIL issue, it's a BF issue. You need to let him handle his mother, you let him know the issue and make him deal with her. If he dismisses your concerns then end it with him. A BF who doesn't address your legitimate concerns or have your back even with his mother isn't one you want to be with. In the future, never let yourself become the bad-guy with your in-laws, let your partner handle that and they nee
    via Extension-Clock608

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family drama privacy aio mother in law family bedroom reddit thread Reddit mom fiancee son
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