'My parents are calling me heartless': Freeloading older sister gets told to move out of couple's home after three years of living with them, causing family tension when she refuses

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Emma Saven
Jun 25, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

It's crazy to think that to some people, boundaries are more of a suggestion than a rule. 

Family is forever, but that doesn't mean that they're meant to live under the same roof for eternity.  

Just envision this for a moment: You're happily married, settled into life with your husband, when your older sister asks if she can stay with you for a little while. Fast forward three years, and you've come to the unsettling realization that your definition of "a little while" doesn't quite align with hers. Because, well… she's still there.

In all that time, she hasn't contributed a cent toward the bills, still hasn't quite learnt how to remove a dirty dish from the sink, insists on dominating the TV remote (at all times), and still somehow manages to make her younger sister—the actual homeowner—feel like a guest in her own house.

At this point, too many eggshells have been stepped on, and both she and her husband are fed up with the older sister's inability to get her life together. So now the final question lingers: do you draft up an eviction letter with one week's notice or keep sacrificing your sanity and marriage in the name of sisterhood?

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  • This situation has placed the family in a difficult position, stirring tension and dividing opinions throughout the family tree. The question of "who’s right and who’s wrong?" continues to echo. But the story doesn’t end here; there’s plenty more to uncover below that may help clarify which sister to side with during the ‘battle of the household’ 

  • 01
    "She leaves dishes in the sink, hogs the TV, and doesn't lift a finger around the house."
    via prostock-studio

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITAH for asking my sister to finally move out after living with us rent-free for three years?

    Okay. So. I'm just gonna say it straight I'm tired. Like, mentally wrecked. I haven't even had peace in my own house for what feels like forever. Three years ago,
    via poraOff500
  • 03
    my older sister moved in with us. She said it was temporary. She was "figuring things out." Okay, cool. I get it. We all go through
    via poraOff500
  • 04
    hard times. She lost her job, had a breakup, nowhere to go. Me and my husband who, by the way, was hesitant from the start let her
    via poraOff500
  • 05
    stay. That was 1,102 days ago. Since then? She hasn't paid a single bill. Not for water, not for power, not even for Netflix which,
    via poraOff500
  • 06
    by the way, she watches more than me. She leaves dishes in the sink, hogs the TV, and doesn't lift finger around the house. a
    via poraOff500
  • 07
    It's like having a ghost roommate... if ghosts left their laundry on the couch and stole your last yogurt. She said she was
    via poraOff500
  • 08
    "looking for a job." That was year one. In year two, she said she was "working on herself." Year three? | don't even ask anymore. I'm too
    via poraOff500
  • 09
    scared I'll lose it and say something unforgivable. My husband's been patient more patient than me. But last month,
    via poraOff500
  • 10
    he sat me down and said: "Babe, we're starting to resent her. That's not healthy for anyone." And he was right. I am resentful. I'm snappy, anxious, I avoid being
    via poraOff500
  • 11
    home. I barely feel like I live in my own space. So I finally told her gently "Hey, I think it's time you start looking
    via poraOff500
  • 12
    for your own place. I love you, bu this isn't working anymore. It's been three years." She looked at me like I just st bed her. Said I
    via poraOff500
  • 13
    was "kicking her out to the streets," said I "wasn't a real sister," said I "let money and a man change me. I didn't even say
    via poraOff500
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10521098240
    via gettyimages

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 15
    she had to leave now just that she should start planning. She slammed the door and hasn't spoken to me in two weeks. My parents are calling me heartless.
    via poraOff500
  • 16
    One aunt texted me "family doesn't abandon each other." But... I feel like I've already done too much. I'm 26. I want to start a family. Have my own life. I can't
    via poraOff500
  • 17
    do that when I'm still walking on eggshells in my own home because my 31 year old sister refuses to even wash her own dishes. So now I'm sitting here wondering... AITAH?
    via poraOff500
  • 18
    Sparklingwine23 NTA, the aunt and other family can all take their turns supporting her or they can sh t up.
    via Sparklingwine23
  • 19
    poraOff500 OP Appreciate it! They're welcome to help if they really care otherwise, their opinion doesn't count.
    via poraOff500
  • 20
    leavemeinpeace 10 NTA. She's not acting like your older sister, she's acting like a baby. You're doing her a favor. Also if other members of your family try to lecture you, tell them to house her.
    via leavemeinpeace10
  • 21
    poraOff500 OP Thank you. That's exactly how I feel I've done my part, now it's time for others to step up if they're so concerned.
    via poraOff500
  • 22
    Stock-Mountain-6063 Your husband has been a saint to tolerate this for three years! I hope you told him that.
    via Stock-Mountain-6063
  • 23
    OU-fan-at-birth NTA. Personally, I think you've let this go on 2 years and 9 months too long. If she won't leave voluntarily after you give her two weeks' notice, start eviction proceedings.
    via OU-fan-at-birth
  • 24
    Goat wool sock You are NTA for wanting her to leave. But YTA for not having a backbone for the last three years. How did your Husband put up with this? Sounds like a nightmare.
    via Goat_wool_sock

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roomate family drama drama house siblings askreddit reddit story married life husband rent bills family sister home entitled people
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