'If you weren’t selfish, you’d offer it as a kindness': Entitled nurse lashes out after being denied access to her friend's private cabin for free

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Jun 23, 2025 7:00 PM EDT

As Phoebe Buffay once said, "Oh, my G-d. Joey's right! There are no selfless good deeds!" So, is it possible that Joey Tribbiani has made a revolutionary discovery that has been sitting right under our noses?

From as early as we can remember, it has been ingrained into our memory: don't do something in order to receive something in return.

However, as much as we'd like to believe that every action is done out of pure selflessness and as a product of giving back to the world, is it simply human nature to expect groundbreaking rewards for our good deeds?

When we help a friend move houses, not only are we giving them a helping hand, but we are strengthening a friendship that will further benefit our lives. When we give charity, not only are we helping those who need it most, but we are building a sense of self-pride within ourselves. Although, we do believe that there is a point where certain individuals have created an unrealistic list of expectations from others. A list created out of self-entitlement, calling for someone to strike a large line through that list and rip the page out of their little, brown book of 'you owe me's.'

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  • When a healthcare worker expects to use her friend's sister's cabin, on her timeline, for a little weekend away, she is left angry after being told that it is unavailable. She expects to have access to the private cabin simply because she is a nurse and her job is tiring. Is this an example of having unrealistic expectations of others simply because you have a philanthropic and compassionate job, therefore expecting rewards from strangers?

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    "She told my sister I didn't care about her even as a healthcare worker, that it would've cost me nothing to let her use the cabin for two days?"
    via alenaozerova
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    AITAH for declining my sister’s friend request to use my cabin?

    My name is Rose, I am 38 years old and I have just one loving sister although we live in different cities. I have a small cabin off
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    town that I inherited from my grandparents 3 years ago. It's about 2 hours from our family house. It's very quiet and it has a lake nearby, nothing really
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    luxurious but a great place to cool off. I do go there often and I only allow close friends and family to use it if they ask in
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    advance, as long as they use it neatly and treat it with respect. Earlier this week on Tuesday, I received a message on my
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    Facebook from a woman I've met once and only thing I know about her is that she's my sister's friend during rhe cause of our
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    interactions i then learned that she's a nurse. We chatted briefly at a BBQ last year that was when I met her. She messaged me saying
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    she just learned about the cabin and wanted to know if it was available for the weekend. I told her no, that I was planning on going up this weekend myself.
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    Her response was sharp as if she was offended. Oh wow, okay. I just really needed a break. I've been on tight working schedule
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    for a week and you know as a nurse is exhausting, this would've been a perfect reset for me. I figured you'd understand.
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    I said I do understand, and I appreciate her work, but the cabin isn't available this weekend. Hoping everything would end
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    here but she flared up! You don't even use it that often, right? I don't get extra money enough to afford places like that I wouldn't
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    have come to you. I just thought if you weren't selfish, you would offer it as a kindness. I knew where it was all headed i read and ignored.
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    Cheezburger Image 10519948544
    via gettysignature

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Later about some hours past, my sister called asking me what happened, saying her friend was really upset and felt like I was
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    being r de and inconsiderate. It turned out that she told my sister I didn't care about her even as a healthcare worker, that I made
    via HottieFoxyRose
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    that fact clear and that it would've cost me nothing to let her use the cabin for two days AITAH?
    via HottieFoxyRose
  • 18
    GrazziDad NTA, so much so that it's hard to believe this is real. Perhaps your sister gave her the wrong impression? To the extent that she
    via GrazziDad
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    thinks you are just gaslighting her by saying it isn't available? Otherwise, this is a preposterous level of entitlement.
    via GrazziDad
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    HottieFoxyRose OP Definitely, I think it must have been from what she was told. After we talked on phone, she only concluded her friend was being dramatic
    via HottieFoxyRose
  • 21
    shammy_dammy NTA. Block her already.
    via shammy_dammy
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    HottieFoxyRose OP Block? I can always ignore her!
    via HottieFoxyRose
  • 23
    Abalone 1991 NTA. If your sister is so bothered she can pay for her friend to stay in an AirBnB somewhere.
    via Abalone1991
  • 24
    HottieFoxyRose OP She admits her friend was being dramatic
    via HottieFoxyRose
  • 25
    RJack151 NTA. Tell sis the her friend needs to lose your number She will never use your cabin after the way she talked to you.
    via RJack151
  • 26
    JustBob77 You should have offered her the cottage at the complete stranger rate of $1500/night!
    via JustBob77

Tags

nurses family drama drama nurse siblings stranger things askreddit reddit story camping family blocked sister healthcare cabin entitled people
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