Grandparents show up to 14-year-old granddaughter's birthday party 2 hours late, get angry that they started the party without them: 'I even called them the night before the party and reminded them that we would start at the given time.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jun 24, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Every party has a threshold for when it's socially acceptable to be late. If your friend has a daytime birthday party from 4 to 8 and you show up at 7:30, that's a tad bit impolite. Some might say it's also disrespectful to show up to that event at 3:40, and I'm inclined to agree. But let's say it's not a typical party with a sizable group of attendees…let's say it's a modest gathering of four friends who are hanging out to celebrate a birthday from 4 to 8 PM. In that case, it wouldn't be kind to show up 1.5 or 2 hours late. When it comes to kids' birthday parties, it's definitely expected that you show up on time, especially if there are activities planned throughout the day. If you have to miss 75% of a birthday party, you might as well not come. 

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  • 01

    AITA for starting my daughters b-day party when my parents had not arrived?

    My parents are late for EVERYTHING! For the past few years, if an even has been planned, me and my siblings tell them that it starts and hour before it actually does.
    via u/Clean_Sail1251

  • The grandparents in this story have no excuse for showing up late to their 14-year-old granddaughter's birthday party. They consistently show up late for everything, and even when people inform them of an earlier start time that takes into account their likely tardiness, they still arrive late.

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10521375232
    via Sphr Jf

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    Well my daughters 14th bday just happened and we sent out the invitations 2 months ago. I said that the party would START at 2 PM. The invite I sent to my parents said it would START at 1 PM.
    via u/Clean_Sail1251
  • 04
    Cheezburger Image 10521377536
    via erica steeves

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    A week before the party, I called them to remind them and they said they would be there at 1. I even called them the night before the party and reminded them that we would start at the given time. They said they would be there.
    via u/Clean_Sail1251
  • 06
    The day of the party comes and people are showing up, at 1:15 they had no showed up, so i called them. They said they were on their way. They live less than 10 miles away so it should not take them that long to get there, but apparently it does.
    via u/Clean_Sail1251
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10521381888
    via Dan Gold

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    Come 2 PM we started serving food and we enjoyed ourselves. 3 PM they finally show up and asked why didnt we wait for them. I told em that we figured they were not coming since we told them to be there at 1 and they still had not showed up at 2.
    via u/Clean_Sail1251
  • 09
    They said that usually when an invitation says it starts at a certain time that it means that it is what time people should start arriving and not when the actual event starts.
    via u/Clean_Sail1251
  • 10
    (I have never heard this, i just thought it was obvious that you should always arrive at least 10 min to 15 minutes before an event starts.) So AITA here?
    via u/Clean_Sail1251
  • 11
    Stormschance NTA. For an adult party being 'fashionably late' isn't a bad thing... two hours on the other hand isn't 'fashionably late' it's inconsiderate.
    via u/Stormschance
  • 12
    Showing up for a child's, their grandchild's, party, is downright offensive. Expecting you to have held the party for their grandchild's arrival is ... worse.
    via u/Stormschance
  • 13
    lemon_charlie They've had decades to fix this. They have tools analogue and digital. Wall clocks, calendars, organisation boards, phone alarms etc. They haven't. Their adult children have gotten used to giving them an amended start time to account for their timing issues and they were still late (two hours late for them).
    via u/lemon_charlie
  • 14
    daronwy NTA Also the point of being 'fashionably late', is the party starts and you aren't the first there twiddling your thumbs. Moaning about the party starting after being late is a super AH move.
    via u/daronwy
  • 15
    lemon_charlie They were told it was starting at 1, they arrived at 3. They were two hours late. OP and their siblings need to put their feet down on this, tell their parents that the time is X, that proceedings start then and fashionably late means fashionably absent from proceedings, and that as adults the parents need to manage their own time if they want to make it on time.
    via u/lemon_charlie
  • 16
    daronwy 100%, I personally wouldn't even give them the adjusted start times, the party starts at 2pm like it or lump it. Tho once in a while I might give them a ridiculously early start time actual party at 2pm,
    via u/daronwy
  • 17
    they are told 10am, they get there for noon and can help with the setup. I've never known anyone who is fashionably late to complain about the party starting, sh my friends who are late to stuff regularly, normally apologise and just crack on.
    via u/daronwy
  • 18
    No_Stairway_Denied That is where the difference lies in my opinion. People who are late accidentally OR apologetically would NEVER be upset that they missed part of the party. They would be sorry they didn't make it on time or be understanding of the consequences of their own actions.
    via u/No_Stairway_Denied
  • 19
    People like OPs parents want time to stop when they aren't there. As Ke$ha once said, the party don't start until (they) walk in. They not only don't care they are late, they expect that you will hold your itinerary and all of the guests hostage until they deign to arrive. And if you don't YOU are wrong.
    via u/No_Stairway_Denied
  • 20
    AnneMichelle98 I'm like 95% certain that fashionably late means showing up 5-15 minutes after the starting time and for exactly the reason you said.
    via u/AnneMichelle98
  • 21
    Jonathan-Strang3 You are correct, but I would add that the concept of "fashionably late" does not apply to kid's birthday parties, especially for young children, as they're typically scheduled around the kid's nap time or at least when they're most likely to be fully awake and happy if they don't take naps anymore.
    via u/Jonathan-Strang3
  • 22
    PepperVL Okay, but it was her fourteenth birthday. I understand and agree with what you're saying about young children, but we're talking about a teenager here. It's still super r de. Not justifying what the grandparents did at all. Just pointing out that the tight scheduling of a toddler party doesn't apply.
    via u/PepperVL
  • 23
    ImpossibleReason2204 You don't wait a party on someone. Why would they expect that? The party is at this time, regardless of what time you deign to grace us with your presence. ΝΤΑ
    via u/ImpossibleReason2204
  • 24
    allyearswift You wait for the guest of honour. Not the guest's grandparents who live twenty minutes away and said they were on their way and who do this weird flex where they expect everyone to be inconvenienced to prove that they're the most important people in the room. Guess what, they weren't. OP would have been a major AH to her daughter to play along.
    via u/allyearswift
  • 25
    BluberrySpiceHead I'm still trying to figure out what grandma and grandpa thought the party-pause would entail. Were they expecting to walk into a silent room full of people sitting in a circle with their heads down and hands in their laps and not a smile to be seen? ΝΤΑ
    via u/BluberrySpiceHead

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