‘There’s only one bed, so she’s sleeping in it’: 27-year-old woman starts dating a 44-year-old man, only to discover his “roommate” is a woman her own age who doesn’t pay rent and cozies up to his family

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jul 7, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

Some say love has no age, which is debatable, but okay. What it most definitely should have though, is a number. The number two, to be exact. A number that stands for the number of people in a relationship.

Dating in your twenties is already a minefield, but nothing quite prepares you for a guy whose "roommate" is a woman your age who pays for nothing, drinks like it's a competitive sport, and greets his family with the enthusiasm of a sitcom wife.

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  • AIO the guy (44m) that I(27f) recently started dating is defending his “roommate"

    "He paid $1500 to fly me out... I told him she made me very uncomfortable"
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Our girl was flown out by this guy for a romantic getaway, only for her to discover his house is under “construction” and the only available sleeping arrangement is a tent, while the roommate enjoys the one bed inside. The plot thickens when the roommate answers his brother’s call with a honey-soaked greeting, then spends the evening glaring at you like you just keyed her car.

  • I recently started dating a guy and I really like him. He told me he was letting a "friend" stay at his house
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  • and I didn't think anything of it. Come to find out it's a girl my age who doesn't contribute financially at all.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Yesterday he calls his brother, and she answers the phone very enthusiastically screaming
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  • "oh my gosh honey I've missed you hello!!!!" My stomach immediately dropped not only for her
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  • HIGH
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Every red flag is waved with the subtlety of a marching band. The roommate’s mood swings from possessive to passive-aggressive, her relationship with his family is suspiciously cozy, and her liquid habits make sure every night is a rerun of the same awkward drama. When our girl finally voices her discomfort, she's told this is just her personality, as if that’s an acceptable excuse for treating someone like an intruder at her own date. 

  • reaction but now I know she's close to his family also. She later shows up to where we are and is
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  • making is very clear she doesn't want to meet me, when she finally comes to the firepit where I'm at she
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • is glaring at me, eventually someone calls her out and says "why are you being weird to her? Don't be
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  • r de" and she goes "oh I'm not I'm only mad at him" and points to the guy I'm dating.
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  • I'm confused because earlier on the phone she was acting the complete opposite with him. Also
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  • that night he told me that we're camping, which I thought was weird, and then I found out it was
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  • because his house is getting construction and there's only one bed so she's sleeping in it. So
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  • basically he paid $1500 to fly me out to sleep in a small tent. I told him she made me very
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  • uncomfortable and I'm not interested in being around her again, he basically told me that's just how she is and she was dr_nk. But
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  • they also drink EVERY night heavily so if this is how she acts when she's drinking I feel like this is
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  • how she acts every night then. I feel bad for even saying it bothers me because like I said she
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  • attends his family events so clearly she means a lot to not only him but his family and I feel like if I say I don't want them
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  • interacting with each other anymore everyone will think I'm the dramatic one. I'm not sure if I should just cut him off over her or what...
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Dating-Relationships first date dating fails advice We Are Dating red flags dating apps red flag first dates online dating dating
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