Couple of 5 years splits up, ex demands 100% of the sale of their home even though she made the down payment: 'Get your 20% back and your 50% share as well. There is no reason to be told to walk away'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Jul 9, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Breaking up with a longterm partner is already a difficult emotional process, so why would you make it even more challenging than it needs to be? Unfortunately, some people do not know how to end things gracefully and mutually; they only know how to press the self-destruct button. That seems to be the case with this couple, who after five years, decided that it was time to end things. However, instead of remaining amicable, this author's ex took the opportunity to make the division of assets a stressful and unnecessarily grueling process.

When they first bought their home together, the author was in a more financially stable place. She put down the 20% down payment and from that point forward, they split the remaining costs evenly. Once the breakup was in full force, the author's ex demanded 100% of the money from the sale of their home because he needed it more than she did. Never mind the fact that her finances were the reason why they were able to afford a home together in the first place!

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    Cheezburger Image 10526751744
    via Unsplash+ (Gabriel Ponton)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The most excruciating part of the story is the fact that the division of this asset seems clear to several members of this online community. The author deserves that 20% back from the down payment, and then 50% of what's left. This, frankly, would not only be fair but it would also be generous. Unfortunately for her, the ex seems to feel differently.

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    "AITA for not agreeing to give my ex all of our house sale proceeds when we split?"

    TLDR: Ex says, because I'm more financial stable and have had less trauma, I should give 100% of sale of joint house to them for their financial future to be equitable.
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    Been together a bit over 5 years, jointly bought a house and I put 20% down since I had the finances and my partner did not,
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    we've split mortgage expenses since. We experienced a terrible family tragedy and now we're splitting up. My partner essentially asked that I turn over the keys and walk away or give all
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    the proceeds of the house sale to them. Because I came in with more money and have more stable future financial outlook,
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    my partner feels that this is the right thing for me to do. For context, we both have children from previous relationships as well.
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    We're not legally married, but I've been through a divorce before and understand general practice is that what you bring into a relationship is a non-martial asset, and yet I am experiencing
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    extreme guilt about the fact that my Ex is insisting that the caring and loving thing to do would be to agree to this. I've requested several times now that I get back
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    the down payment, we split the rest of the proceeds 50/50 and go our separate ways, but they seem unwilling to consider that and believe they have a case should we go to court. AITAH?
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    Cheezburger Image 10526752256
    via Unsplash+ (Gabriel Ponton)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Drayden71 16h ago NTA don't let your partner make you feel guilty. In reality they should only get half of what's left after you take back your down payment. You weren't put on this planet to subsidize their life
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    Lucky-Guess8786 · 15h ago Since they didn't pay into the downpayment, imo, you should pull out your 20% and then split the rest. You are owed the downpayment amount as it is not part of any shared profit.
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    Tell them to follow through and initiate any court proceedings. It's likely an empty bluff, but if it isn't then hopefully you can come to an agreement through mediation or court.
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    My condolences to you both on the tragedy. I hope you are eventually able to find peace in your grief.
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    StandingGoat 16h ago. • NTA - ex sounds greedy and manipulative.
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    Zestyclose-Heigh... 15h ago Nta, if you paid more of the deposit, proceeds are more than half yours unless someone was home raising all the kids. you need a lawyer consult for a fair split. lawyer right away.
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    Zestyclose_Till777 • 15h ago NTA. You have your own kids to think about. Get your money.
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    LibraryMouse4321 • 15h ago NTA. You both get back what you put in as a deposit, and you split the rest. If you paid 50/50 towards the mortgage, you split the rest 50/50. Of you split the mortgage payments 60/40,
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    then ideally the house profits should be split 60/40, too, but they might still be split 50/50.
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    If your ex insists on court, get a good lawyer and sue for lawyer fees and court costs because fighting over splitting the house is ridiculous.
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aita AITAH house relationships entitled people karma couples sales breakup entitled people
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