'I am really fed up of living with people who act like they are in high school': Entitled woman expects her 2 roommates to take care of her newly-adopted not potty-trained cat, accusing them of "ganging up on her" when they won't bend to her will

Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky
Mariel Ruvinsky • Writer and Editor
Jul 15, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Adopting a cat is a big responsibility, and every person who wants to adopt one should be aware of that. Don't let the rumors fool you. Cats are not nearly as low maintenance as some people think they are. You have to clean up after your cat, you have to give your cat attention and have playtime with it for it to not get aggressive, you have be there for your cat. And you cannot simply drop your cat off on your roommates when you don't feel like taking care of it anymore. 

And if you happen to be going on vacation, you cannot simply expect your roommates to take care of your cat. It is your responsibility to find a cat-sitter who is actually willing to do the job. But we suppose that some people don't understand that, and so, they do things like what you are going to read about today. They throw tantrums and act like the world owes them something.

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  • 01

    "Flatmate gets a pet and expects us to bend around him in her absence"

    "Things have taken a very ugly turn where she's just throwing tantrums and playing the victim card"
    via Unsplash / Eugene Uhanov - eugenemagia

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    So we are three women living in the house and one of the flatmates, adopted a cat a month ago. Shes had no previous experience of having pets and when the discussion of bringing him in was going on it was implied that all the responsibilities and expenses would be hers.
    via zeelshah01
  • 03
    What we didnt discuss is what would happen in her absence. It was assumed by us that she'll drop him off at a shelter / friends place who knows and doesn't mind taking care, however now that the cat is in the house, its not been 2 months since hes been here and she has to leave town for 6 days.
    via zeelshah01
  • 04
    The cat is 1year and isnt potty trained, very moody in absence of the owner. When brought up the point of where the cat goes, she said shell arrange everything but wont leave cat in a shelter, however its all been we will figure and there has been no definitive answer and when tried to bring up these problems,
    via zeelshah01
  • 05
    she thinks both of us are not empathetic towards her problems and that we are attacking and ganging up on her by expressing our concerns (who will clean up pee and what happens if he falls sick or runs away)
    via zeelshah01
  • 06
    I am really fed up of living w people who act like they are in high school thinking we are sitting and plotting against her. Things have taken a very ugly turn where, shes just throwing tantrums and playing the victim card that nobody understands my problems, i expect y'all to support me, i have no one etc.
    via zeelshah01
  • 07
    i feel like i should leave the house but i found the apartment and i pay the biggest share and shes not ready to make any compromises but two of us feel that the third one is not ready to accommodate anything and i think its time to throw her out. How can i do that?
    via zeelshah01
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10529127680
    via Unsplash / Eugene Uhanov - eugenemagia

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Absolutely unacceptable. And look, okay, in her situation, we probably would have asked our roommates to help out as well, but we would have asked it, not expected it, and we would have respected their concerns and their decision. The fact that she just expected you to be her cat-sitters without even discussing it with you first is unacceptable. 

  • 09
    tulipz10 How is it not litter trained? If it's pooping or peeing outside the box, it's because the box is too dirty or it's sick. She doesn't sound like she knows what to do with the poor thing and she shouldn't be expecting you to care for it. Tell her to take her cat and go.
    via tulipz10
  • 10
    Significant-Repair42 cats that go outside the litter box either are unhappy with the cleanliness/location of the box OR they have a medical problem. Has she taken the cat to the vet? This is 100% her not taking proper care of the cat.
    via Significant-Repair42
  • 11
    Cheezburger Image 10529127168
    via Unsplash / Eugene Uhanov - eugenemagia

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 12
    goat20202020 Cats generally train themselves on how to use the litter box. You don't need to potty train them like you do with dogs. For very young cats you do have to help them a bit in the beginning but by 1 he this cat should definitely be litter trained.
    via goat20202020
  • 13
    If he's having accidents outside the litter box then either your roommate doesn't clean it enough (once a day at the absolute bare minimum but realistically twice a day) or he's sick. If she tried to leave the cat behind without lining up care then report her to an animal ab e hotline or drop it off at a shelter.
    via goat20202020
  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10529126912
    via Unsplash / Eugene Uhanov - eugenemagia

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Also, we agree with everyone saying that the cat not being potty trained yet is a red flag. It doesn't take that long. Cats normally take to it very quickly, because they instinctively look for a place to dig and hide their business. Something is off about this cat ownership situation, and we hope you dig into it a little more. 

  • 15
    goldenkiwicompote Cats are not litter "trained" they naturally use the box based on instinct of wanting to bury their pee and in loose substrate that's dirt like. If a cat isn't using a litter box it's unhappy with the type of box, type of litter or location. If not those it's a medical issue. The cat should go to the vet to rule anything out and then things need to change to figure out what they like.
    via goldenkiwicompote
  • 16
    She should pay you guys to watch the cat it's really not hard to scoop litter and feed a cat. Taking the cat out of its home to a shelter environment or someone else's house would be very stressful for him. That's not really how cat sitting generally goes usually a person pays someone to come to the house to feed/scoop litter. Your roommates ks and clearly shouldn't have a pet but have some compassion for the poor thing.
    via goldenkiwicompote
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10529127424
    via Unsplash / Eugene Uhanov - eugenemagia

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 18
    Dry-Clock-1470 If she leaves with out getting the cat a sitter or paying you all to do so I'd either find it a new home and or take it to the shelter
    via Dry-Clock-1470
  • 19
    meoemeowmeowmeow That cat would be delivered to the shelter the day she left for a trip. Sorry not sorry
    via meoemeowmeowmeow

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cat drama interesting adopted story roommates Cats
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