Roommate “Jess” keeps stealing 25-year-old’s food and toiletries, she’s forced to buy a lock for her things, Jess accuses her of creating a hostile living environment: “You’re treating me like a thief”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 14, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

It's really not easy to live with someone else. When we're younger, we're more resilient to the petulant phases of life, the hues of meretricious youth. Our tolerance is higher, providing us with important life lessons as we age into fully formed adults. When I was in college and years after I also lived with roommates. I've had such an array of experiences that it's impossible to encompass with one label. I've had it so bad with roommates that I had to leave leases early, had to talk to the landlord about them, and even gone to their parents to address the issues at home. I've also had the opposite experience, and went through years where I lived with my best friends. Coming home to a safe space, where people you love are there is the best feeling. It's rare, but it's a beautiful thing.

In the story below, the protagonist has a terrible roommate. To combat the situation she's in, she buys a lock and a minifridge because her stuff is being stolen and used by her roommate. Instead of understanding, the roommate freaks out. Read the full story below. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for locking up my food and toiletries so my roommate would stop using them?

    Cheezburger Image 10529668864
    via Jsme MILA from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So i (25F) live with a roommate (26F), let's call her Jess. We've been living together for about 8 months now, and from the start, she's been kind of a moocher. I'm
    via Reddit

  • My last apartment was wrought with a horrible roommate who was the most unhinged person I’ve ever met, so now I live alone. But I certainly have had my fair share of unpleasant roommate stories. Read the full story below. 

  • 03
    talking about constantly using my stuff, my shampoo, my conditioner, my body wash, my snacks, my frozen meals, my freaking perfume. I've mentioned
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    it several times, always politely, and she always says something like "oh sorry! I'll stop!” and then never does. It got to a point where I'd go to take a shower and
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  • 05
    realize everything i bought was nearly empty. Same thing with groceries. I'd come home from my part time job excited to eat something specific i bought and it
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    would already be gone. After trying to talk to her several times with no real change, i finally got fed up and took action. I bought a
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    Cheezburger Image 10529667840
    via Africa images / Canva

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  • 08
    mini fridge for my room and started keeping my groceries in there. I also got a small cabinet with a lock where I keep all my
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  • 09
    bathroom stuff. Yes, it's annoying, but I was literally wasting money on things I never got to use. Jess lost her mind. She said I was "creating a hostile living
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  • 10
    environment" and that I was "treating her like a thief.” I calmly told her this was the only way I could actually have access to the things I pay for. She said it was
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  • 11
    "insulting" and immature and that I should have just trusted her to stop. Now a couple of our mutual friends are saying I should've just
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  • 12
    kept communicating instead of going "full prison warden," and that it's "passive aggressive." But honestly, i feel like I was left with no choice. So, Am i the ah le?
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    Update: So, here's the update a couple of you guys asked for. Warning, it didn't end on a great note. After I set up the fridge in my room and locked up all my
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  • 14
    toiletries, Jess flipped out even more than I anticipated. She was really angry, calling me everything from "paranoid" to "petty." I tried
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    to calmly explain myself again, telling her how I was just trying to stop wasting money and how I'd
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    tried to talk to her about it multiple times already. But she wasn't having it.
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    via 123ducu from Getty Images Signature / Canva

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  • 18
    Jess's reaction was over the top. She basically accused me of "treating her like a criminal" and said I was being "ridiculous" and
    via Reddit
  • 19
    "immature." According to her, I had no right to lock up my things like that, and I was "creating a toxic atmosphere" in the house.
    via Reddit
  • 20
    She told me I needed to trust her and that my actions were "driving a wedge between us." I tried to stay calm, but honestly, it felt like every time I spoke, she just got
    via Reddit
  • 21
    more and more mad. I even suggested we sit down and have a calm conversation, but she shut that down right away. She said she was "done talking" and that I
    via Reddit
  • 22
    was "ruining everything" with my behavior. Her words really stung, and it became clear that we were not going to get on the same
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  • 23
    page. At that point, it felt like she didn't even care about the fact that I was upset. She just wanted to be mad at me for doing what I thought was necessary.
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  • 24
    Things only got worse from there. Over the next couple of days, she started acting distant and cold toward me. I don't even think she
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  • 25
    was hiding her frustration anymore. She was openly giving me the silent treatment and making snide comments whenever I would be in the
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  • 26
    kitchen or bathroom. The tension was unbearable, and I could tell that we were both just walking on eggshells. I didn't want to live like that anymore, so I started looking
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  • 27
    for places to move. I knew I couldn't continue living in a place where we were constantly at odds. I'm sure Jess noticed me
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  • 28
    looking for a new place, but she didn't bring it up. She was still too mad at me to care, I think.
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  • 29
    Long story short, I'm in the process of moving out. I found a new apartment, and I'm just waiting for the lease to start. I don't know what the future holds
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  • 30
    for our friendship honestly, I'm not even sure if we'll be friends after all of this. It's really disappointing because we were pretty close at first, but I can't keep living in a place where I feel
    via Reddit
  • 31
    disrespected all the time. So yeah, the situation ended with me leaving. Jess is still mad, and I'm just trying to get out of here without any more drama. Thanks for all your advice!
    via Reddit

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drama toxic relationships lol love entitled family reddit thread Reddit roommates funny dating entitled people
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