17-year-old son refuses to attend mom's 40th birthday party after mom confronts him about breaking up with his girlfriend, dad takes son's side: ‘You owe him an apology’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Jul 19, 2025 5:00 PM EDT

Many teenagers' first instinct when they get into a relationship is to hide it from their parents for as long as they can. They will meet in secret, whisper through their phone late at night, and hide any evidence when their new love interest comes over. Usually, they don't hide it because they think their parents would have a huge problem with them dating, but simply because they don't want their parents to get involved. No teen wants their parents to meddle in something as personal as their love life, and the easiest way to prevent them from doing so is by not letting them know.

Once parents find out, they will probably want to meet the person their teenager is seeing, and even invite them for family dinner. They will want to know about everything the young couple does together, and they will try to give helpful advice to improve the relationship.

While all of that does not sound so bad, it doesn't take long before parents end up crossing a line, just like the mother in the story below. She crossed a huge line when she confronted her son for breaking up with his high school girlfriend. This only pushed the 17-year-old away from her and even caused him to miss her 40th birthday party…

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    Cheezburger Image 10530598912
    via Jupiterimages

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    AITA for not making my son go to his mother's 40th birthday party and calling her a terrible mother?

    I share two sons with my ex (17M & 15M). This situation involves my older son. My ex wanted a daughter, but it was not in the cards for her.
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    So, when my son started dating a girl 2 1/2 years ago, my ex immediately welcomed her with open arms. They got quite close.
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    My son wanted to date other girls, so he broke up with her about 3-ish months ago. The girl did not take it well. But, my ex took it even
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    worse. My ex has been pestering our son about the breakup whenever she can. She has even done this in front of other girls my son is interested in. It has gotten
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    so bad that my son has decided to not go over to my ex's house anymore. I have talked to my ex about her behavior. She claims she is simply being a
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    "concerned" parent. We have had a number of arguments about this. Anyways, this past weekend was a surprise birthday party for my ex's 40th. I
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    asked my sons if they were going. My younger went, but my older son felt no desire to go. I did not pressure him and told him it was his decision to make.
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    The party came and went on Friday night. Saturday, my ex called & texted our older son trying to find out why he did not come to the party. He did not respond.
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    She eventually contacted me. She asked to speak to our son, I told her unless she is intending to apologize, I am not going to have him speak to her.
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    She got pretty mad and said he is the one who owes her an apology. An argument ensued. I ended up saying something like, "You have spent the last few months
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    treating our son like a criminal over a breakup. When you are ready to stop being a terrible mother and apologize, you can talk to
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    him." She started crying and I hung up. My younger son has been with his mom and says things have been tense for him. I do not want that for him. AITA?
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    Cheezburger Image 10530599168
    via JackF

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    Visual-Lobster6625 She claims she is simply being a "concerned" parent. NTA she's concerned about - the wrong person. She should be putting her son's feeling
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    first. Now things are tense for your youngest? Are they pressuring him to talk to the oldest? Your ex will end up pushing BOTH of her children away by holding on to your son's ex- girlfriend.
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    ForwardPlenty NTA. Parents should really stay out of teenage romances. They come and go, breakups are common and new relationships form all the time. So the mother hanging
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    on to the son's ex is just a fruitless exercise to begin with and is interfering with a normal parent-child relationship. This is a form of al se.
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    So no, you don't have to force him to attend anything with his mother, he doesn't have to go and be at d.
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    Sebscreen NTA. She should seriously grow up! Imagine being a 40- year-old parent who's more immature and insecure than your minor son.
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    cuzguys I understand why she's your ex.
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    spaced2259 The appropriate time to hang up was when she started the argument. Don't play her games and let her play the victim.
    via Swimming-Age-2944
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    winterworld561 NTA. She's pushing her kids away for her own selfish reasons. She Is being a terrible mother.
    via Swimming-Age-2944

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