25-year-old blatantly tells stepmom to stop calling her daughter during intimate family dinner, stepmom is shambles: “You didn’t have to humiliate me”

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    AITAH for telling my dad’s new wife she needs to stop calling me “our daughter”?

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    My dad remarried a year ago to "Diane." I'm 25F, and while I'm polite and civil to her, she and I
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    have no real relationship. I live on my own and visit maybe once a month.
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    But whenever I'm there, she refers to me as "our daughter" in conversation. As in: "We're so proud of our daughter," "Our
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    daughter is so independent," "It's nice having our daughter home."
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    At first I just ignored it, but it's really started to bother me. My mom (who raised me) is very much alive and in my life.
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    At dinner last week she did it again, and I finally said: "Diane, please don't call me your daughter. I'm not your daughter."
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    It came out sharper than I meant. She looked really hurt, and my dad told me later I didn't need to "humiliate her." AITAH for saying it?
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    alanisugarmusic • 16h ago NTA. If you want to, you could apologize for coming off sharper than you meant, but you have to advocate.
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    for yourself. If you don't want to be referred to in that way, it's good that you said it.
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    Silver_Adagio138 • 16h ago Your father should have corrected her. I wonder why he didn't and put it on you.
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    HesterFabian • 16h ago NTA. She was humiliated when you stated a fact? You are not her daughter, you're not even really a
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    stepdaughter if she played no role in raising you. That's just reality and if that humiliated her then she's bonkers.
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    Icky-Tree-Branch • 16h ago You're NTA... but it wouldn't hurt to apologize for being so blunt. "Diane, I appreciate that you're so welcoming
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    and accepting, but I have a mom. My intention wasn't to hurt your feelings, and I'm sorry for that. But you can't erase my mom."
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    mocha_lattes_ • 16h ago NTA but if it really did come out harsher than intended why not invite her out for coffee or something and
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    apologize for the tone. Make sure to tell her you are happy your dad found someone but you have two parents. She didn't help
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    raise you so you won't have a parental/child relationship. However you are open to getting to know her as a person and becoming friends with her as adults
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    who love the same person (your dad) and see what she says. If she refuses then you know she just wants to force herself upon you in a
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    parental role or if she accepts then you make peace with her and hopefully develop a friendship.
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    gooossfraabaahh ⚫ 16h ago NTA Seems like she is trying to show you she cares for you like a daughter. Often, in a step-parent relationship,
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    specifying that you are only your dad's daughter would be used as an insult. Something like, "It's not my fault YOUR DAUGHTER
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    turned out like that!" Instead, she says "our", establishing her responsibilities she believes she has after marrying into a family with children present.

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