'She asked me if I regret my decision and I said no': 30-year-old bridesmaid drops out of best friend's wedding a day before it happens because her cat had to be hospitalized, gets mad when the bride expresses anger

We would do anything for our cats. Anything and everything. We take our cats to the vet, even though we know they don't want to be taken. We give our cats medicine, even though they absolutely hate it. Vet visits might cost us thousands, but we do it anyway - for them, because they are our family, and we will treat them as such. So… we understand the thought process behind what the cat owner in this story did. We truly do. And we think that they are wrong anyway.

It was a hard decision to make - when this bridesmaid's cat got sick and had to be hospitalized - whether to stay nearby and cancel on her friend's wedding a day before it happened or go to the wedding. We understand that it was hard. We just think that when the cat had to be hospitalized for days without you being able to do anything to help it, and your fiancé was nearby to get to the cat if something did end up going wrong, you could have gone to the wedding. One day - there and back. 

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Author image for Mariel Ruvinsky Mariel Ruvinsky
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  • 01

    "[Am I wrong] for dropping out of my friends wedding the day before?"

    "I asked her if she was mad and she said ‘I don't know how to feel.””
    via Unsplash / Samantha Gades

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • 02
    My best friend (29F) recently got married. I (30F) have been her bridesmaid for about a year now, partaking in bridesmaids duties. Her and I have been close friends for several years. During our friendship, I moved to the other side of the country and am now a 6 hour flight away with a three hour time difference.
    via FarAddendum225
  • 03
    Her wedding took place on a Saturday. On Thursday, my cat, started acting strange but I didn't think much of it. On Friday, I decided I had to take my cat to the vet. The vet said she had a kidney infection and that it was serious and that my cat would need to be hospitalized. I was terrified that she would di..
    via FarAddendum225
  • 04
    After going back and forth with myself (and my fiance) for hours, I made the truly difficult decision to call my friend on Friday and tell her I can't make it to the wedding.
    via FarAddendum225
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  • 05
    When I told my friend, she said I should take care of my cat. I asked her if she was mad and she said "I don't know how to feel." I love my friend, but I needed to stay here to be with her. It's heart wrenching to think about my cat needing me and me being too far away to come. I'm all she has.
    via FarAddendum225
  • 06
    Of course I felt incredibly guilty missing the wedding and I still feel awful about the decision. I didn't make the decision lightly.
    via FarAddendum225
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10532038656
    via Unsplash / Fuu J

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • 08
    On the morning of the wedding, I sent her a text saying I hope the wedding goes well and that I'm happy she's marrying her partner. She said "ok thanks". I haven't reached out since because I wanted to give her space and have her come to me.
    via FarAddendum225
  • 09
    Two weeks have gone by, and she texted me this morning (a little heated). She asked me how my cat was and I said she's ok. She was hospitalized for a few days and is now at home. She told me that she disagreed with my decision. I told her that I'm so sorry and feel awful about missing the wedding. I told her I love her and continuously apologized. She asked me if I regret my decision and I said no.
    via FarAddendum225
  • 10
    She asked me why my fiance couldn't handle it and I told her that it's ultimately my cat and I want to be nearby if anything were to take a turn for the worse.
    via FarAddendum225
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  • 11
    One of the other bridesmaids texted me the morning of the wedding (8am) asking me if I could take a later flight and miss the wedding but come to the reception (which started at 6pm). I said it was too late. Again, I'm 6 hours away with a 3 hour time change. I don't know if there was a direct flight that would've gotten me in on time.
    via FarAddendum225
  • 12
    My friend told me that people "volunteered" to her they would not I have made the same decision as me and that what I did was "f______ed up”. I didn't know my cat would be OK until Saturday at 11am. At that point, it was too late. Again, I could not leave my cat if she needed me. I would never expect anyone in my life to abandon their animal.
    via FarAddendum225
  • 13
    So, I was surprised when she said she wouldn't have made the same decision as me. That she would have left her dog to be at my wedding if the roles were reversed. So Reddit - am I the a hole?
    via FarAddendum225
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  • 14
    Cheezburger Image 10532038912
    via Unsplash / Fuu J

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Look, 99% of the time, we are on the cat owner's side, but this time, we have to say that we agree with the internet. You may not have been wrong to do what you did, because we can't tell you to not feel what you felt, but you certainly weren't in the right. 

  • 15
    Rredhead926 Look, I'm a cat person. Always have been. I have 4 cats right now. But if I had to choose between being in a friend's wedding or staying with my cat when said cat had another human to care for it, I would choose the friend. So yeah, I think YTA.
    via Rredhead926
  • 16
    Cheezburger Image 10532039168
    via Unsplash / Fuu J

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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  • The cat was hospitalized, you were home, you have a phone, and your fiancé was there and could have stayed to help with the cat had there been an emergency. Your best friend was counting on you, and you could have gone to her wedding. You could have. You chose not to. And it is up to you to live with that choice and its consequences. 

  • 17
    ddvrom The cat stays in the hospital a few days right? Couldn't she have left the cat with the doc, flown to the wedding, and come back in a couple days? If the doc needed input they can call you out of town. The only scenario I see where the cat "needs her" is if it takes a bad enough turn they need to put the cat down, and maybe you get a few minutes to say goodbye. Would be sad to miss those moments but they're fleeting compared to that big of an event for a best friend.
    via ddvrom
  • 18
    Rredhead926 She talks about her fiancé, so I would think that they could have handled being the cat's emotional support human.
    via Rredhead926
  • 19
    disasterbee I mean yeah YTA here, but sometimes making the right choice for yourself means being the AH to other people.
    via disasterbee
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  • 20
    Holiday_Decision4095 Where you messed up most was deciding to "let her come to" you. You should have been all over that sh--immediate, profuse, repeated apologies, flowers. Seriously, silence from you? Yikes.
    via Holiday_Decision4095
  • 21
    CarlEatsShoes YTA. You sitting in your house while your cat was at the vet did nothing for your cat. You bailing on the wedding that you committed to attend months ago for an actual human was very hurtful to the human. I hope your cat is there for you in 30 years when you need a friend.
    via CarlEatsShoes

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