60-year-old boyfriend insists mom should charge her 15 and 17-year-old sons rent to live at home once they turn 18: 'He believes kids should be charged $600 per month rent as long as they’re not going to school'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Jul 21, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Parents who let their kids live with them when they're adults have to decide whether or not they're going to let them live rent-free. Several factors contribute to this decision, with culture being a significant one. In many cultures, it's expected that adult children live at home until they get married. In some households, they're expected to foot the bill for big expenses that their aging parents can't afford. In other cultures, adult children are encouraged to live at home, but they are not expected to pay rent or any other living expenses. Their parents would feel shameful asking for their kids, who are just starting their careers, to pay to live in their childhood bedrooms. 

When you break it down, there are two schools of thought in parents who charge their kids to live at home. There are the parents who do it because they need the money, and the parents who do it because they don't want their kids to be useless NEETs. 

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  • The dad in this story is definitely in the latter group. He charges his daughters in their 20s to live at home, and he wants his girlfriend, the mother of two teenage boys, to follow suit. 

  • 01

    Is it ok to charge my kids rent?

    My (41 F) boyfriend (60 M) have been together for almost 3 years and do not live together. He has two daughters in the home ages 29 and 22. He believes kids should be charged $600 per month rent as long as they're not going to school. He charges the 29 year old rent. She has
    via u/Collection_Hopeful
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10532695296
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    Asperger's, struggles to be financially responsible, and so struggles to live independently. The 22 year old is still a student but close to graduating. I have a 15 year old and soon to be high school senior who is 17 and he is not interested in college at this time. He mows lawns and is
    via u/Collection_Hopeful
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    Cheezburger Image 10532706560
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 05
    working on building a lawn mowing business and wants to do that straight out of school. I told my boyfriend that if we get married and move in, I am not charging my child rent. Even if I did, it would be much lower and I'd probably put it back into a savings account. Maybe surprise
    via u/Collection_Hopeful
  • 06
    them later with it when they move out. Otherwise, I feel like I'm just taking advantage of them financially and would rather them save up for their futures. They did not get to choose the house that we chose to live in and so should not be forced to pay rent. He said otherwise they'll never want to leave. I said I don't get that, I was
    via u/Collection_Hopeful
  • 07
    ready to leave after college and was never charged. I get his 29 year-olds situation, and she doesn't do a good alone, but I probably wouldn't make her pay that much. We don't agree on this and I could use some thoughts on kids paying rent vs not. Edit: I'm now wondering if this is a red flag?
    via u/Collection_Hopeful
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10532707072
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    Ironyismylife28 Charging rent to adult children who are not in school is very common. If you do t want to do that, that does not make you TA Personally, charging an adult who is neuro-divergent $600 a month when they have money management problem and NOT assisting them to get support os a pretty big red flag though
    via u/Ironyismylife28
  • 10
    bharp0305 My mom charged me 200 for rent in bills when i moved back home(20 years ago) i was 20. I think 600 is too much. 200 I was able to save and get a place on my own. On the other hand, I wont and haven't charged my kids rent. My husband's mentioned doing it once, when our oldest graduated but 200 and secretly putting it back so they have some extra when the move out. That way it also gives them some responsibility of paying stuff ect. We never did, but this is the only way I'd do it.
    via u/bharp0305
  • 11
    Collection_Hopeful OP Curious what you mean by support? She works, is pretty independent, but makes impulse purchases. He reminds her to watch her spending and to pay her bills, like car payment and medical.
    via u/Collection_Hopeful
  • 12
    Ironyismylife28 What has he done to help her set up separate bank accounts so that her bills and needs items are always covered, and then she has something more concrete to see so she does over spend? What support has he looked for with social services, so that if she wishes to live independently, they will help? What teaching has he provided her, either from himself or someone else, to help her learn budgeting? What has he done aside from reminding her?
    via u/Ironyismylife28
  • 13
    Collection_Hopeful OP Thank you. I think he's pretty supportive for the most part and these are great questions for me to ask him.
    via u/Collection_Hopeful
  • 14
    PM_ur_butthole_2me I think a good idea is to "charge" the kids a small rent, like 2-300, but just keep all the money saved and give it back when they are ready to put a down payment on a home.
    via u/PM_ur_butthole_2me
  • 15
    Turbulent_Lab3257 Just my two cents- our three adult kids live at home and we don't charge rent. And I don't see us changing that any time soon. The two younger ones just graduated college and are job hunting. They want to stay local and continue living here if possible. The oldest has a sweet WFH job and she likes us and chose to move back home. Oldest has been saving and is looking at buying a house since she has a hefty deposit. She might even rent it out and keep living with us.
    via u/Turbulent_Lab3257
  • 16
    That said, our kids are motivated and aren't slackers. We also love having them here because everyone has fun together and there isn't any arguing or tension. If I had kids who showed no initiative and seemed content with gaming and sleeping all day, then yes, they would get booted out of here if they didn't work and pay rent.
    via u/Turbulent_Lab3257
  • 17
    Collection_Hopeful OP I like your thoughts and do hope that my kids want to stay and fully contribute
    via u/Collection_Hopeful
  • 18
    sun_pup I think a major consideration for you should be what kind of co parent this person would be given how he's treating his own kids. Is that what you want for your kids and does he respect your decisions as made for your own kids? No to either of these would be a deal breaker for me.
    via u/sun_pup
  • 19
    Silent_timber21 I think charging any kid under 25 rent when they are actually out there going to school / have a job is ridiculous. Your brains not even fully developed yet until then. I can see why your bf is charging his 29y/o kid but parents these days need to realize having kids isn't just until they're 18.
    via u/Silent_timber21
  • 20
    allisaidwasshoot Life is hard enough, why make it harder on your own children? My kids can live with us as long as they want/need to. I can understand making them buy their own food and chipping in for electric and water but having them stay there does not add to the cost of the mortgage. Just seems unnecessary tbh. I'm the same age as you OP and the idea of dating a 60 year old is wild to me.
    via u/allisaidwasshoot
  • 21
    luigifelipe I read these things and I wonder why parents take this kind of approach in the United States. I have never heard about any culture that charges kids rent in any occasion. Parents are there to support children, to give them guidance, to make them feel loved by the most important people of their lives, mom and dad. If you feel you are not okay doing that, have peace of mind and follow your heart. I'll never do that to my son no matter what is he facing in life.
    via u/luigifelipe
  • 22
    Equivalent Low_2315 I'm Australian, when I was still living at home and working they charged me board. Most of my friends were also in the same situation. It was still far cheaper than paying rent on my own, buying my own groceries etc. The amount I paid would have barely covered the food I still consumed at home. I still had more than enough money leftover to make savings and have fun.
    via u/Equivalent_Low_2315
  • 23
    Eton Rd I don't think you should move in with this person. He wants to dictate your relationship with your children, and if that's not a huge red flag to you, that's kind of scary. You should be running the other way as fast as you can from this guy.
    via u/EtonRd
  • 24
    Character_Giraffe983 I agree with this 100%. This is a total red flag. I also think he is overcharging his daughter. These red flags probably coexist with many more you don't even realize. Good luck to you. Please don't move in with this cold fish.
    via u/Character_Giraffe983
  • 25
    Tiger_Dense We never charged our kids rent. They still moved out. I think most children want their independence. It's just more difficult for them today. I disagree rent teaches responsibility. Our oldest moved, rented, then bought a house within 2 years. Is ultra responsible Never paid a penny of rent, and we paid for food, car insurance for them to drive our cars, their cellphones, even bought them clothing with no request if I was ordering something online.
    via u/Tiger_Dense

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boyfriend living at home kids teenagers sons bad parenting parenting good parenting girlfriend raising teens rent renting adult children home parents
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