29-year-old bride demands her cousin let her host her wedding in her pottery studio, badmouths her to her family when she refuses: 'My studio isn’t licensed for events like that and the cleanup would be a total nightmare'

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    AITA for refusing to let my cousin host her surprise wedding at my pottery studio?

    So I am a 34-year-old woman who owns a small pottery studio that I have spent the last six years building from scratch. It's my pride and joy. I teach classes, hold exhibitions, and even organize community events like "paint-
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    your-own-mug" days. It's not huge, but it has charm with exposed brick, hanging plants, and shelves filled with clay art. People often say it's cozy and totally Instagram-worthy.
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    Last week, my cousin Lily, who is 29, texted me out of the blue saying she had a "fun idea" and wanted to talk. Turns out she and her fiancé want to surprise their guests with a wedding instead of an engagement party. They want
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    to host it at my studio. We're talking 40 plus guests, food, a DJ, and decorations. They want to do it next month on a Saturday, which is one of my busiest teaching days.
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    I had to say no. I told her I love the idea, but my studio isn't licensed for events like that, my insurance won't cover it, and the cleanup would be a total nightmare. Plus, it's where I work. She got really upset and said I was being selfish, adding that she'd "never ask again."
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    Now the family group chat is buzzing. Some relatives think I should have made an exception for a family member's big day, while others are backing me up.
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    I genuinely didn't mean to offend her, but I feel like I was put on the spot for something that's just too much. AITA?
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    Cocoa AlmondsRock 1. One month's notice. 2. Busiest teaching day of the week. 3. Insurance won't cover it. 4. Cleanup and logistics would be a nightmare. Tell your relatives the above. Say that if you'd had six months notice with time to arrange that day off for scheduled classes AND time to research insurance
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    options AND a guarantee from your cousin that she would cover the cost of insurance and handle all cleanup and logistics, then you'd have considered it. It was a lovely plan, but it didn't take into account the reality of asking a business owner to disrupt business for their party. This has nothing to do with "family." NTA
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    indi50 I like your answer except for the first paragraph after the first sentence. Saying OP would or should have "considered it" if given more notice negates all of the legitimate reasons OP said no, which you outlined in your numbered items. Even with notice, why should OP give up income from classes and risk damages to her shop and items on display? It wouldn't be just that one day, it would be a day before to set up and the day after for clean up.
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    Even if the cousin found insurance that covered it, these are handmade pieces. And it's unlikely the cousin would have done that because she seems the type to just get by with..."oh it will be okay..." and not take responsibility for anything.
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    InfamousFlan5963 Plus not sure the sizes and whatnot, but I'd be worried some drink guest would steal a piece. Hopefully it's all family so you could track it back down, but I know enough people who dri kenly would think it was hilarious/great idea/Etc
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    Crystalcoulsoncac Exactly. People don't realize that small business owners can't just shut down operations on short notice, especially for something that could jeopardize their insurance coverage.
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    whysys NTB, a bizarre ask and you said no. Are people forced to say yes to anything if it's family now?! You listed a whole bunch of legitimate reasons....
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    fabioandropoli also love how she played the victim after you politely said no. like?? the audacity??
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    whysys Maybe OP should just outprice her - the cost of a lost saturday (and the days around it), the insurance increase costs, storage fees for moving fragile pieces elsewhere for the weekend, huge damage deposit, professional cleaning fee. And non-refundable hold fee, as if they change their minds last min OP won't get all the business back. And that doesn't include any of the dj/catering/furniture...
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    Jazzlike_Adeptness_1 Outprice her? Hahahahaha oh my sides hurt. Cousin wasn't planning on paying her one red cent.
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    littlelionbirdman You don't have the licensing or insurance! End of story. NTA. It's a super cool idea, but many great ideas are foiled by bureaucracy and regulations
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    boldpetite Exactly! People underestimate how serious zoning, licensing, and insurance issues are. OP's a business owner, not a party planner. What she's asking isn't just inconvenient, it's illegal without the right permits. Why risk fines or lawsuits for a surprise party?
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    ReviewFar NTA. She'll never ask again? Is that a promise? Did you get it in writing?
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    facelessvoid13 'She'll never ask again', but she'll bleat to the whole family how unfair and uncaring her COUSIN is. Not even immediate family. Definite NTA
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    Mesapholis is the theme "elephants in a porcellain store"? "this is not a wedding venue, I have a pottery and teaching business that I need to run, sorry" ΝΤΑ

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