25-year-old freeloader tells 52-year-old mom who pays her bills that she won't take care of her when she gets old: 'You shouldn't expect me to do that. I didn't ask to be born'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 5, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

Whether you believe that an adult child should care for you when you get old has a lot to do with your culture. Some parents stop working at age 50 and expect their children, who are in their 20s and 30s, to take them into their home and provide for them financially. The logic behind this is that since the parents have cared for their kids for 18+ years, it's now their turn to take care of them. An adult child also might feel a lot of shame and guilt if they choose not to take care of their parents, forcing them to plan their own retirement. 

In other cultures, parents often feel guilty when they have to rely on their adult children financially. They do not want their kids to be even a little bit burdened with their aging, and want to be self-sufficient until their last day on earth.

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  • Surely, there has to be some middle ground to this. An adult child can support their aging parent without abandoning their life if the parent has planned for retirement. The mother-daughter duo in this story is pretty dysfunctional, with the mom supporting her daughter's bad habits and expecting her daughter's bad habits to change as she ages.

  • 01
    Hazel Appleyard ❤ @HazelAppleyard_ I'm on mom's side.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 02
    WIBTA if I stopped helping my daughter financially after she told me I shouldn't expect her to take care of me when I'm old? I (52F) have been helping my daughter (25F) financially for years in college, car insurance, rent when needed, even surprise "emergencies" that somehow always involve travel or electronics. I'm not complaining... okay maybe a little, but I love her and I've always tried to support her while she figures life out. Last week, we were casually talking about retirement stuff no
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 03
    Vist
    via Brooke Cagle (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    Fion @Fibutton X.com I'd tell the daughter that yes, she was right, so from now on you're going to take her advice and put every penny you have towards your retirement, and perhaps the daughter should be doing the same! Then profusely thank the daughter for her wise words...
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 05
    SarahKathleen @SarahKathleen60 X.com She's been spoiling the unfilial brat too long
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 06
    Matthew Johnson @J_Stobrimore X.com I'm on the mom's side, too. She should remember that phrase, "You shouldn't expect me to do that. You should've planned better" the next time her daughter asks for money.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 07
    spacexgator ❤ @spacexgator X.com The daughter will repeat that she didn't ask to be born so you still should support her
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 08
    Matthew Johnson @J_Stobrimore X.com But she's an adult and will eventually have to learn to be responsible, because, as the whole discussion implies, her mother won't always be there to bail her out.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 09
    Prodigal Daughter @ProdigalDaugh16 X.com If I were the mother, the next time my kid "forgot rent" I would say, "I would love to help you but I'm going to take your advice and invest more in planning for my old age. That extra couple hundred you need is going into my 401K."
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 10
    Lis Villiers @LisVilliers X.com Daughter sounds painfully immature with the "didn't ask to be born" argument. I mean, nobody asks to be born, but does that exempt you from being a decent person?
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 11
    Ο Ruthless Truth @RuthlessRuth DV X.com There is an "antinatalism" trend in which a growing number of people are against giving birth and continuing the human race. And this is only in the U.S. and other developed countries, like a late stage civilization trend. This attitude is actually quite disturbing.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 12
    Julie Asher-Smith @julieashers X.com I'm on mum's side, although I guarantee it's going to be hard to ignore maternal instinct and step back regardless of her age. But you do actually need to step back
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 13
    Tim @Tim39040509 X.com Let her grow up and face life. You're doing her no favors right now
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 14
    Mermaid78 @mermaid8861 X.com Just went thru something similar with my 22 yr old daughter. She lost her job at her own cause, asked me for financial help (I already told her, I'm single, support myself, I can't anymore -she's on my phone bill) and raged on me when I said no. The coldness and entitlement from this post and as I've felt with my own kids is awful. Don't reward it with what you've earned!
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 15
    Mama M @ThatRosaryGirl X.com Yeah no that's crazy. I'm 25 and while it's still common for parents to help out financially here and there while you're figuring things out, I would absolutely take care of my parents in their old age!! No one has any concept of duty to their loved ones anymore
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 16
    S.E. Reed @writingwithreed X.com I despise this mother. She's the villain in this scenario, not the daughter, and I can't believe more people don't recognize that in the comments.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 17
    Cheezburger Image 10538914816
    via Philip White

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 18
    Natali Simmonds @NJSimmondsbooks X.com I'd never expect my kids to support me financially, or care for me physically if I needed professional care, but neither would I expect a grown 25yo to speak to me like that. Her reaction was petulant and selfish. In my family we all help one another at all times. It's a given.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 19
    S.E. Reed @writingwithreed What mom says "why am I bending over X.com backwards to be there for her” oh, I don't know, because it's your freaking daughter! A phrase like that would never even enter my mind.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 20
    Natali Simmonds @NJSimmondsbooks X.com Yeah, there's definitely a bit of that if you read between the lines. At the end of the day we all model behaviour on our kids, so there has to be a reason why the daughter is still dependent at 25 yet wary of being there for her mum down the line.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 21
    Lena @Lenagatorr X.com Need the kid'a side cos they don't talk like that unless there's more to the story. Plus, parental love doesn't come with strings. She's painting a picture of a good mom and a mean kid, but no good mom would unironically say "if she's not gonna do for me, why would I do _" sus -
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 22
    Raina VOTE @Bright19Rainbow X.com And people will say "who will take care of you when you're older if you don't have kids?" Apparently, not even your own kids.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 23
    Anthony Ward ❤ @shnozzmoana X.com The only way for her to "plan better for her old age" is to save more. So her daughter can't complain if she does just that.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 24
    sbostian @sbostian X.com Most of my boomer friends got no money from our parents until after they passed away and maybe not then. Most of us didn't ask for it, we loved our parents and wanted their remaining years to be dignified and pleasant. We took care of them anyway.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 25
    Patricia Sky ⭑ @PatriciaDawnSky X.com I promised my mom that I would never let her go into a home. I made that promise when I was 15. I kept it. I wiped more then drool. I cooked all her meals, kept her company, helped pay the bills. She passed 2 years ago. I would give anything to have her back.
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 26
    Anthony Grisanti ❤ @AnthonyGriz X.com I'm a single dad and the last thing I want is for my daughter to spend time taken care of me...
    via @HazelAppleyard_
  • 27
    Cheezburger Image 10538914304
    via Mohamed hamdi (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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family drama entitled parents mother entitled family reddit story parenting bills entitled family reddit thread Reddit mom money Parenting Fail entitled people Parenting FAILS
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