Hardworking 24-year-old woman buys her first car, she refuses to drive her non-driving family around after they begin treating her like their personal chauffeur, causing family feud: 'Family helps family'

Author image for Emma Saven
Emma Saven
Aug 12, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

'Family helps family' seems to be the motto by which this family swears; however, it seems to be exclusively applicable to specific family members: mainly those who make their own money and hold the key to the door of independence. 

When a certain beloved family member can contribute more towards their family, does that necessarily mean it is their duty to do so?

Mom gets a bonus, spends it all on the kids' Christmas gifts. Jeremy is given an extra NFL Kansas City Chiefs ticket, but he has to babysit his twin nieces during kickoff…and this hardworking daughter just bought herself a new car after months of saving, but instead of getting to focus on that new car smell, she is forced to drop what she is doing and take her family wherever their heart desires… whilst still paying for all the gas, insurance and headache pills needed from all the nagging. 

So is anything every really just ours when it comes to family?

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    Two women smiling at each other in the back seat
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA for refusing to be the "family driver" now that I have a car ?

    I (24F) just got my first car a few months ago. I saved for it for almost 3 years while working full time and taking night classes. It's
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    nothing fancy, an old used Toyota, but it's mince, I bought if myself, and I'm really proud of that.
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    the issue is that since I got the car, my family (mostly my mom and older sister) has started expecting me to drive everyone everywhere. groceries, pharmacy
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    runs, appointments, airport pickups, random errands. Sometimes they as, but more often they just assume I'll do it. I get texts like "You can take me at 3, right?" without even checking if I'm available.
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  • 06
    My sister (29f) doesn't work and doesn't drive. She's never really tried, she says driving makes her anxious. Our mom doesn't drive
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    either (medical reasons). For the past 10 years, they've relied on public transport, taxis, or friends. but now that I have a car, they act like I'm their personal chauffeur.
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    I've tried setting boundaries. I've told them I'm happy to help when I can, but i can't always be available, especially since I still
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    work full time and I'm trying to finish my degree. But when I say no, they get super upset. My sister sulks and complains I'm
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    selfish, and my mon says things like, "We've always helped you when you needed it." Last week, I refused to drive my sister across town for a job
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    interview because I had an exam that evening, She ended up missing it and now blames me for "ruining her chance." Our aunt even called to tell me I should "sacrifice a little" because "family helps family."
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    Cheezburger Image 10539783168
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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    I feel awful, but also kind of resentful. I bought this car so I could be more independent, not so I could become the default ride for two grown adults who've
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  • 14
    chosen not to drive. But maybe I'm being too rigid. AITA for refusing to be the family driver, even through I'm the only one with a car?
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  • 15
    Onlycosplay_xo NTA. You didn't buy a car to become the designated Uber for grown adults who had functioning lives before you had one.
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    nova_lneyy OP The worst part is, I actually have offered to help them plan better. Like, I even looked up bus routes with my sister once just so she'd know how to get somewhere on her own.. and she laughed and said "ugh, thats' too much."
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  • 17
    Some-Astronaut-6907 If you fold when they get upset, you haven't set a boundary. Part of setting boundaries is sticking to your gs and accepting the fallout. You re NTAH.
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    nova_lneyy OP yeah, the guilt trips are real and tough to ignore, especially from my mom. But I'm slowly figuring out that if I keep giving in, nothing will change, still gotta remind myself sometimes that it's okay to put my own stuff first.
    via nova_lneyy
  • 19
    CiCi_Run Nta but please, please, please tell me that you're charging gas... plus extra for the wear and tear on the car.
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    nova_Ineyy OP They act like i'm their free taxi service but never a word about gas money or all the random dents I'm probably gonna end up with. Maybe I should start handing out receipts or something
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  • 21
    MyCatSpellsBetter NTA. Did they actually expect you to miss your exam for her job interview? I'm sure she was more than happy to get a convenient excuse for missing it and continuing to not work.
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    buzz_buzzing_buzzed NTA. But it sounds like your aunt volunteered to drive everyone. Because it's a "little sacrifice", and "family helps family".
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  • 23
    City_Girl_at_heart If your sister can't or won't figure out transit to get to her job interview, how tf does she plan on getting to and from the job?
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  • 24
    Proud Tie_4802 NTA. You have a life of your own and can't drive them everywhere all the time. Boundaries are good. If they wanted independence, they should also drive.
    via Proud Tie_4802
  • 25
    victrin NTA. Let them be upset, they'll get over it eventually. If you're not the doormat they'll eventually stop expecting you to be.
    via victrin NTA.

  • Setting boundaries is never an afternoon walk in the park, especially when your family is constantly guilt-tripping you for your, for lack of a better word, tripping them across town. When all your nosy family members are throwing the side eye at you for refusing to give up your day to be a personal chauffeur, you can either hide the keys or become the floormat… 

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schedule expectations Unavailable failblog their-way drive mother new car chauffeur driver's-license selfish driver appointments drive-around entitled family sister lifting
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