'It's beginning to exhaust me': Aunt babysits her sister's 3 and 6-year-old 3x per week, then sets healthy boundaries after realizing her family is taking advantage of her; chaos ensues

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Aug 12, 2025 6:00 PM EDT

This woman was tired of babysitting her sister's kids three times per week. Instead of denying her sibling's demands altogether, she tried to set healthy boundaries for herself by allowing herself to have a few nights to herself, but the Golden Child sister threw a tantrum and went running to their mother. 

Nothing says "mature mothering" like guilt-tripping your sister into foregoing their adult life so that you can have one instead. 

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  • AITAH for informing my sister that I won't baby sit for her unless she pays me? So, I (26F) have been baby-sitting for my older sister (32F) fairly frequently.
    via ComposerIcy5697
  • She has two children (3 and 6 years old) and typically asks me to sit them 2 or 3 times a week, generally in the evening or on weekends when she and her husband need to get out or take a break. I don't have children of my own, so I've always agreed but
    via ComposerIcy5697
  • it's beginning to exhaust me. It's not just babysitting them. I feed them, clean up after them, sometimes even do laundry or help get them up for school the next morning if she does wind up staying out late.
    via ComposerIcy5697
  • She's never so much as offered to compensate me not even once. At first, I didn't care because, you know, family. But now it feels like she just takes it for granted. She asked me to babysit Friday night and Sunday afternoon last week. I had both afternoons planned, so I said no.
    via ComposerIcy5697
  • She was upset and informed me th at I was being selfish and I should want to spend time with my niece and nephew. I told her that I like the kids fine, but I'm not a volunteer babysitter and I'd really appreciate some kind of reimbursement or at least more notice.
    via ComposerIcy5697
  • She got upset and informed me I'm putting money ahead of family, and that most sisters would be willing to lend a hand every now and then I explained to her I have been assisting a lot and that I'm not saying no all the time, I need boundaries.
    via ComposerIcy5697
  • Now my mom says I should have been nicer to it and that I must have offended my sister's feelings. But no one is considering mine. I'm working full-time, and I'd like to have some time for myself as well.
    via ComposerIcy5697

  • Aunts and uncles are proud adult figures in their nieces and nephews' lives, but at the end of the day, they're not their parents. While it's sweet to be regarded as a guardian figure to a child, sometimes the real, bio parents can take advantage of that bond, exploiting it so that they can have as many date nights as they please. This mom knew that her sister was close to her two kids, so instead of being thankful for her consistent (and free) childcare, she started to take advantage. 

    Well, this aunt decided to draw a line in the sand, saying, “Pay me or you're on your own.”

  • So AITAH for telling her I won't babysit anymore unless she pays me or at least thanks me?
    via ComposerIcy5697
  • kindaright-ish ⚫ Newsflash for your sister! Parents don't get 2-3 nights a week because they need a break or get out. They get date nights, maybe once or twice a month, IF they are lucky. Not this, at all.
    via kindaright-ish
  • Also, her plans are not more important than yours. Its on her to arrange childcare for her plans. Not expect you to cancel yours, which I have a feeling you have done before.
    via kindaright-ish
  • She doesn't want to hire a sitter because 1, she'd have to pay and 2, she couldn't take liberties like staying out late and not doing the morning routine for school the next day.
    via kindaright-ish
  • You see the kids plenty. You are their aunt, not their parent. You don't need to spend 2 days a week with them unless you want to. ΝΤΑ
    via kindaright-ish
  • kitrose4. NTA she's taking advantage of you & manipulating the situation to make you feel guilty. I think you're right to set boundaries. You need to be paid & respected for your time.
    via kitrose4
  • Adelucas ⚫ Tell your mom if she feels so strongly she can do the babysitting from now on, you're done. You always know when you are in the right, they start with the guilt tripping and get family members involved. Stop the regular
    via Adelucas
  • babysitting, and just do it in an emergency. Your sister can pay for a regular babysitter like normal people if she wants to go out partying with her husband. You've gone from occasional babysitter to part time nanny. That's $30 dollars an hour. I
    via Adelucas
  • babysat my niblings occasionally and all I did was make sure they were fed, entertained, got to bed and didn't di. Basic stuff. The only tidying up was washing up their supper dishes and putting away the toys.
    via Adelucas
  • BackgroundDonut453. NTA. Your sister is a huge one though. She's manipulating you. A grown woman who's gone running to mama because you said no, so she's having a tantrum.
    via BackgroundDonut453
  • Your mom can have the kids then if she chooses, I bet she won't be so keen though, she's volunteering your time so she doesn't have to.
    via BackgroundDonut453
  • Your sister is a leech, she's taken advantage of you, and even has the audacity to not even offer payment. But this isn't about payment, this is about being co-opted as another parent which you don't sign up for. They are her kids, not yours.
    via BackgroundDonut453
  • They chose to have two kids, they don't get to opt out when it suits them, they are being the selfish, inconsiderate ones.
    via BackgroundDonut453
  • You've helped people who have no respect or consideration for you, it's time to put an end to it. You can opt for fixed times you have the kids, when it's convenient for you, ask for money if you are spending money on them out of your own pocket.
    via BackgroundDonut453
  • Or you can put a stop to having them at all. Frankly with her attitude I'd be inclined to go scorched earth on her and say your kids, your problem. She needs you more you need her. Her attitude stinks so she needs a reality check.
    via BackgroundDonut453
  • Anyone who comes at you, just say "I'm so glad you are volunteering your services, I will let my sister know you are available to have the kids" These people will backtrack pretty sharpish when it's their time being abused.
    via BackgroundDonut453
  • Your sister needs a life lesson in humility, if you have the kids it's when it's convenient for you, and a set time of your choosing. Do take payment, even if you don't spend it, it's a lesson to your sister that you can't be abused when she sees fit.
    via BackgroundDonut453

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