35-year-old roasts her boyfriend's 19-year-old son for complaining that his mom doesn't clean the house enough after she lost her mother and her husband

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Aug 12, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

There's a window of opportunity with parenting, and if you miss it, there's no going back. Many people who were badly behaved as children grow up to become well-adjusted members of society, thanks to their parents' ability to put them on the right path. Bad behavior is bound to happen with even the best kids, but if it doesn't get nipped in the bud, it can lead to a lot of problems down the line. If a kid refuses to adhere to a bedtime and their parents give up on enforcing one, there's a considerable chance that the kid will grow up to have poor sleep hygiene when they're an adult, and for the rest of their life. If a parent indulges their kid's every wish, there's a good chance they won't be able to budget and say no to themself when they're older, because they were never denied anything when they were a kid.

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  • A man covers his face with his hands
    via Ahmet Kurt (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The dad in this story missed his son's window of opportunity, and now he's an entitled, spoiled, 19-year-old brat. He's still living at home and is complaining that his mother doesn't clean enough. Did I mention that his mother is grieving both her mother and her husband at the same time?

  • AITAH for telling my boyfriend to "man up" and parent his ungrateful son?

    So I (35 F) have been dating my boyfriend (40M) for a while now. He has a 19-year-old son from a previous marriage. I'll be honest the kid rubs me the wrong way most of the time. He comes across as selfish, entitled, and really ungrateful, especially when it comes to his mom.
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • Here's some context: My boyfriend and his ex-divorced when the boy was 8. The mom became the primary parent. My boyfriend provided financially, but he's the first to admit he wasn't fully present. From what I've heard, his ex was a bit of a "helicopter mom," maybe strict, but nothing truly extreme or ab ive just kind of typical overbearing parenting.
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • A woman sitting on top of a wicker chair
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • The son has told us that after the divorce, his mom worked a lot, and he spent most of his time with his grandpa. She's a teacher who also does Uber Eats, DoorDash, Spark, etc. to support her lifestyle she likes nice things, vacations, etc. But she's always made sure her son had the best. He's been well taken care of his whole life.
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • Recently, though, things got really rough for her. In just over a month, she lost her mother, lost her husband, and had to undergo a hysterectomy. It's been a brutal time for her.
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • Despite this, every time we see the son, he's complaining about her about how she's not cleaning enough, how depr_sed she seems, how he and his girlfriend have had to help clean her house (three times, mind you), and how he "doesn't want to deal with it anymore."
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • A woman in a white shirt and yellow gloves cleaning a mirror
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • At dinner a month ago, I finally snapped and told him flat-out that he was being incredibly ungrateful. I reminded him that this woman raised him, took care of him when he was sick, and took him on vacations. I told him that now he needs to be there for her and help lift her back up.
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • It got kind of tense, but nothing too dramatic. Fast forward to now we're about to have another dinner with him this coming Friday, and I told my boyfriend he needs to step up and talk to his son. I said he needs to tell him to stop whining and show some compassion for his mother.
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • My boyfriend's response? "I don't want to say anything that will upset him. I don't know the whole story. What if he snaps back?"
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • I got really frustrated and told him he needed to man the up and be a father. I said, "You have no problem confronting me when you think I'm out of line, but you won't say anything to your kid? Be a already." parent
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • Later that night, my boyfriend told me he felt anxious and asked me for a hug. I did hug him, and yeah, I felt bad. Maybe I came in too hot, but I still don't think I was wrong in what I said. So, AITAH for how I handled this?
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • offbrandbarbie NTA. Were you harsh? Sure. But it was fully warranted. Crazy how you care ahout this woman you have no real connection to, meanwhile she carried this man's child, and raised the child and neither of them are in her corner.
    via u/offbrandbarbie
  • Excellent-Second-643 OP It hurts my mom heart. I can't stand it.
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • ILikeNaps13 And you KNOW sonny didn't clean cr_p.....l bet his girlfriend did the cleaning while he "supervised." Also, does he live with his mother? Is so, he needs to clean regularly & contribute to the household chores. he's 19.....if he doesn't like it there, he should move out & pay for his own place.
    via u/ILikeNaps13
  • Excellent-Second-643 OP He lives between his mom's home and with his GF in her mom's home. and his GF is just as cold as him. She was sitting at the table as he spilled all this BS supporting his every word.
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • SnooWords4839 Sounds like they deserve each other.
    via u/SnooWords4839
  • pephm You are a good caring person!
    via u/pephm
  • NefariousnessSweet70 It's rare to hear of a current wife that has respect for the prior wife. You made me smile. My ex's current wife is a good woman and has been kind to my kids. I have no issues with her.
    via u/NefariousnessSweet70
  • AltCherry505 "What if he snaps back?" Dude, you're a FATHER, be a father. You are NTA, I think it actually is very brave and caring for you to raise the issue.
    via u/AltCherry505
  • Upbeat-Bid-1602 This right here. Reminds me of my dad. God forbid he EVER say an ill word of or stand up to my spoiled, entitled, bratty older brother. I think it's a divorced dad thing, son gets put on a pedestal.
    via u/Upbeat-Bid-1602
  • Similar-Skin3736 Right! If 19yo snaps back, then you have a conversation. "You will not talk about your mother with that attitude in my home. Do you understand? Let's try that again." So what if the 19yo feels angry? Good. Let him do some thinking. If he snaps back at his DAD, imagine how he's treating his depr_sed, emotionally overwhelmed, recovering from surgery mom.
    via u/Similar-Skin3736
  • Holiday-Building-598 Have you ever asked yourself where the son learn to talk about his mother that way?
    via u/Holiday-Building-598
  • Excellent-Second-643 OP Her late husband was not the best husband. in, fact just 2 months before his passing she had asked him for a divorce after 11 years of marriage. Words from the kid himself he did witness some instances of verbal disagreements between them.
    via u/Excellent-Second-643
  • bokatan778 Meanwhile, his actual dad...was where? Sounds like your boyfriend is the primary reason this kid is messed up.
    via u/bokatan778
  • Bunnawhat13 You are dating a man who didn't bother to father his child for 10 years and are surprised the son is just as selfish as the father? Like father, like son. Two ungrateful men. NTA but why would you date a man who didn't bother to take care of his own child?
    via u/Bunnawhat13

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boyfriend family drama fatherhood teenagers parenting girlfriend dad entitled family mom Parenting Fail son parents entitled people Father Parenting FAILS
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