5 and 6-year-old children fed up with 34-year-old guy their mom is engaged to, he ends the relationship with her over them: ‘What if we get married and they still hate me?’

Author image for Molly Vincent
Molly Vincent
Aug 17, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

In situations when you're dating someone who already has children, things could get rocky immediately. In the story here, the narrator is a man in his 30s who wants to build a life with his fiancee, albeit her young children are posing as strong reasons to desist their engagement. He loves her, and wants children of his own. Their father is 6 feet under, and they're having a hard time adjusting to the situation. I don't blame them, I would also hate anyone who entered my life if I was so young and going through so much. Grief, loss, and a new man with your mother? They need time. So they make it blatantly clear that he's unwelcome in their lives, to the point that the whole family has gotten involved. Even though people are begging him to stick around, ultimately it's just not comfortable for him. 

I just spoke with a friend recently who's dating a woman with a child. It's really something both people have to consider when entering a new relationship. Anyway, I certainly feel lucky that my parents are together so I never had to deal with it!

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  • 01

    AITA for wanting to end my engagement because her kids don't accept me and I want a family of my own?

    Sad man.
    via AndreyPopov from Getty Images Pro / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I (34m) have been with my fiancée (33f) for 6 years now. She was a widow with two kids when we met. The kids were 5 and 6 when their dad de d, they were 7 and 8 when I
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  • 03
    met my fiancée and we have lived together for the past three years and engaged for 7 months. We've all had individual therapy, family
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    therapy and me trying to go at their pace but the kids don't like me. They won't like anyone their
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  • 05
    mom is with. That much is painfully clear. But they are so against me that I would not want to get
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  • 06
    married and have kids with my fiancée and bring them into a divided family.
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  • 07
    It has been argued by some of her friends and mine that things might be this way because we're not married. That the kids would
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  • 08
    respect me and believe I'm staying if we get married. And I accept there's a chance of that. But what if we get married and they still hate me or maybe they hate me more?
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  • 09
    The kids are willing to fight their own grandparents, aunts and uncles over me. They do not want to be my friend. They do not want
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  • 10
    to see me as an uncle or trusted adult, they do not want to see me as a parent and they will yell at their relatives for referring to me as
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  • 11
    one of their parents. Not even their dad. But as one of their parents. And they are very firm in not wanting me to be their dad. They said nobody can take their dad's
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  • 12
    place. I even told them I would never try but would like whatever relationship they're most comfortable with. Nothing works.
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  • 13
    Spending time with them is like dragging them to the dentist. They resist and act like it's the worst thing ever and they won't open up to me or have fun even 1:1 with
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    just one of the kids. Not to mention they constantly disrespect me when I'm alone with them. I get slightly less disrespect when others are
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    around but if they decide to make me spending time with them hl the disrespect is dialed up by 100.
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  • 16
    My fiancée said she wants to get married and have more kids. That she's been ready for a while. She even proposed to me. But I have
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    Symbol of family.
    via pachecopablo90 from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    told her I do not feel good about it when her kids are where they're at with me. She knows I want kids of my own and she told me we'll have
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    them. She seems willing to believe her kids will come around to the idea of me some day and that we
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  • 20
    just need to show them I'm not going anywhere. I think it's a big risk and one that is harder to break.
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  • 21
    As it is I could move out today and we're not entangled anymore. Marriage and kids together changes it.
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    Family at sunset.
    via aldomurillo from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 23
    My fiancée's family desperately want me to stick it out and once I made my fiancée that I am seriously considering ending things
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  • 24
    they were begging me to commit and stick it out. They said the kids need someone as solid as me and we could still have the marriage and kids I want too. That she wants
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  • 25
    more kids. My fiancée said it's not fair that we have to break up over this. I told her she's not the one who has to live with kids who hate
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  • 26
    her and have admitted (to their therapist and to cousins) they would be happy to see me de d if it meant removing me from the equation.
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  • 27
    AITA for wanting to leave?
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family drama drama toxic reddit story family feud relationships love family reddit thread Reddit entitled people
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