'My husband got a dog as a "surprise"': Wife contemplates divorce after spoiled spouse ignores her opinion about adopting a dog, then does it anyway

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Aug 19, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

Oh, boy. This one is a doozy, friends. There are so many things to unpack here that we're not even sure where to start. Firstly, dogs are a huge commitment. No matter if you get a Chihuahua or a Great Dane, they will change your lifestyle and nearly everything you do, for better or for worse. You will wake up in the morning to a smiling puppy face and a wagging tail that hits your bedside table that is stronger than any alarm clock you could pawssibly buy. You will also have to pay an extra $500 a month for a dog walker if you don't work from home, and that's just the first expense. Vet visits, food, training…. these new things will affect your budgeting as well. Instead of buying yourself a fancy pair of sunglasses, you may opt to buy your doggo a new leash and a toy (which they will undoubtedly destroy in a matter of minutes).

Dogs should never be given as a present. Adopting a dog should be a conscious decision made by all parties involved, and they all must be happy, if not enthusiastic, about it. You can't expect someone who doesn't want a dog to quietly go along with changing their lifestyle when they don't want to in the first place. That's exactly what happened below, and we can already tell you that it won't end well for them. Long story short, don't "surprise" your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or partner with a dog. Surprise them with a trip to Disney World. It will be cheaper.

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  • 01

    Husband got a “surprise dog”

    'Your husband is behaving like a spoiled, entitled, 8-year-old'
    via aliaksandrbarysenka

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Hi! So my husband got a dog as a "surprise". We both work jobs that require us to be at work from 6am to 4pm or 8am to 4pm and will require us to be gone for a minimum of 2days -2weeks without notice (although most of the times we are notified at least a
    via shutterpawsnomnom
  • 03
    week in advance) I've never voiced excitement about wanting a dog and the few times we've talked about it in the past I've said it's not a good idea. He got the dog and I wasn't happy and I voiced my concerns and all he got from it was I made him feel like a "PO" and that it
    via shutterpawsnomnom
  • 04
    made him view me in a "different light". Also, I'm a selfish for not wanting a dog because it's basically one step below a child. I want to be able to go places freely without having to pay for someone to keep the dog etc
    via shutterpawsnomnom
  • 05
    The dog is basically an untrained 2 year old pitmix/pitbull? that pops & ps everywhere. He doesn't have the time to train him constantly because he works and gets off at 4. I personally have been doing things to stay
    via shutterpawsnomnom

  • Adopting a “normal” dog is one thing, but adopting a fearful dog is a whole other story. It's 10x more work to deal with a rescue dog that is fearful (we're speaking from pawsonal experience). They require constant training, listening to their boundaries, and special care. It is not a job for the faint of heart.

  • 06
    out later in the evening like going to the gym or swimming just to avoid being home because I absolutely abhor the constant p p and p and the wet spots.
    via shutterpawsnomnom
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    It's also concerning because I know if too much of that happens then the flooring will have to be replaced and even the walls. I've toured a house where it reeked of dog % and I refused to even consider it and I want to rent the
    via shutterpawsnomnom
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    house when we move out and I'm scared it will be like that house. It doesn't matter what I'll say he'll just make me seem like the bad guy about how I make him feel bad and I'm never
    via shutterpawsnomnom
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    happy with anything. I feel like it's causing a rift in our marriage because he thinks I'm overreacting and he's unable to see my POV. Anyways long rant but am I the hole?
    via shutterpawsnomnom
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    Cheezburger Image 10543519232
    via AVAVA

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 11
    IchiroTheCat · 5h ago NTA. You don't say how old either of you are, but your husband is behaving like a spoiled, entitled, 8-year-old.
    via IchiroTheCat
  • 12
    Ur husband got an untrained toddler of a dog .... and thought what was gonna happen? Whose feeding, walking, playing and training it now?
    via ToldU2UrFace

  • Let's even say that he adopted a golden retriever who was well-adjusted and just happy to be there. It still needs training, stimulation, walks, and care. You can't just adopt a dog and then not care for it. If he wanted a relatively low-maintenance pet (which it sounds like he does), he should have adopted a cat!

  • 13
    Bu y mixes need leadership, training and energy draining. If not.... its an accident waiting to happen. Did he except you to pick up his Idea and take care of it for the credit?
    via ToldU2UrFace
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    You need to go take a month vacay ... put your stuff in storage and let him deal with the dog in full. Don't have a baby with this man
    via ToldU2UrFace
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    RelativePickle8333 5h ago Your husband saying it's made him view you in a different light is emotionally manipulative. I hope he doesn't use language like that often. He really needs to take a week or two off work and spend it training the poor dog
    via RelativePickle8333
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    Healthy-Priority-757 5h ago NTA but your husband sure is one. Does he plan to just let the dog defecate and urinate everywhere? A sentient creature should definitely be discussed and desired by both people in the marriage!
    via Healthy-Priority-757
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    Cheezburger Image 10543519744
    via chalabalaphotos

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 18
    smalli... 4h ago NTA Honestly, this is a hill I would d on.
    via smallishbear-duck
  • 19
    1. It's not a good life for the dog to be locked up on its own all day. 2. I refuse to live in a house that's being covered in une and faces. It's gross, it's unhealthy, and it damages and devalues the property. 3. Your husband:
    via smallishbear-duck
  • 20
    ● • unilaterally made a massive decision that affects both of you (even while knowing you're not on board with it) ⚫ is not responsibly handling what's needed himself (time with the dog, proper training, etc) • is trying to manipulate you into giving in
    via smallishbear-duck
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    SandsinMotion • 5h ago NTA. Find a good home for the dog and potentially the husband. I'm a total dog person, but you're not and more important you have no time. He is being irresponsible,
    via SandsinMotion
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    unreasonable and flat out juvenile. And now he's sending you on a guilt trip. Don't go. Seriously find the dog a good home, it is not fair to it to be locked in a home and be untrained and unloved.
    via SandsinMotion
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    AnnonAnnie • 5h ago NTA I'm not sure why it's such an accepted thing that people get animals either for them, their spouses, kids, families, whatever it might be, without their spouses permission. And it's not even a "I have the authority" over you thing- it's common decency and respect thing.
    via AnnonAnnie
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    Aside from that it sounds like y'all do not feel as you have time for a dog, AND the fact it's not trained. I'd be fuming.
    via AnnonAnnie
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    Covert-Wordsmith 5h ago • It sounds like your husband got a dog behind your back because he wanted one, but also expects you to be the one to take care of it because you're home earlier. NTA. Poor dog.
    via Covert-Wordsmith
  • 26
    Squinky75 5h ago So the dog is just left home alone for ten hours a day? That's just cruel.
    via Squinky75
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    LittleCats_3.5h ago NTA Bad pet owners are the worst. Dogs require a lot of time and energy: to train them, to care for them, and to make sure they are happy and healthy. If you don't have the time, and you clearly don't, it's a disservice to the dog
    via LittleCats_3
  • 28
    to have them as a pet. Unless you are willing and able to spend the money sending your dog to daycare and training, this is a bad situation. It's not even about the two of you it's about the dog itself and the quality of life this animal will have in your care. Does he think dogs WANT to go pl √pl inside, because they really don't.
    via LittleCats_3
  • 29
    If both people in a relationship aren't enthusiastic yes's to getting a dog (or ANY pet), then it's a no. Honestly I would view him in a different light.
    via LittleCats_3
  • 30
    I would not live in urine and f s. I would be moving out. At least until he steps up and acts like an adult. You are 1/2 way out now.
    via IchiroTheCat
  • 31
    Get all your important papers. Move a bit of stuff at a time so he won't notice. Then, take one day while he is at work and leave. He wanted the dog, he can learn to care for one. Best of luck
    via IchiroTheCat

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opinion dogs marriage drama wife surprise husband divorce animals
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