'I'm raising her kid': 19-year-old uncle steps up to care for his 1.5-year-old niece, but when his entitled sister criticizes his every move, he refuses to continue coparenting until she appreciates him

She said he doesn't understand what it's like to be a single parent, but after this 19-year-old's sister started bailing on her own kid, someone had to step up. When this teenage uncle started acting more like a father figure to his 1.5-year-old niece, he thought this earned him the privilege of autonomy with choices he'd make when his flakey sister wasn't around to care for her kid. 

However, when she started berating him and complaining about his every move, he thought he'd let her know what it really feels like to solo-parent, just like he had for months. 

Author image for Jesse Kessenheimer Jesse Kessenheimer
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  • Cheezburger Image 10543780352
    via halfpoint

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • AITA for telling my sister that if she has a problem with how I'm raising her kid she can raise her herself?
    via sealee-
  • I (19M) live at home with my parents, my sister "Ruth" (24F), and her 1.5yr old daughter "Scarlet" (Names changed for privacy reasons) Ruth isn't exactly the greatest mother.
    via sealee-
  • She does do whatever Ruth wants to do and Scarlet's more of an afterthought for her. My parents and I are basically raising Scarlet at this point, and when Ruth decides she wants to be a mother she gets
    via sealee-
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  • involved. I don't love it, but I have taken on a lot of responsibilities with my niece because I want her to have the best life possible and positive influences to guide her.
    via sealee-
  • Cheezburger Image 10543781376
    via halfpoint

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Yesterday morning, my niece was calling for me when she woke up from a nap. So I did the usual routine of changing her, reading to her, and then getting her a snack.
    via sealee-
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  • About halfway through her snack, Ruth came downstairs. And when she noticed that I had given her bananas, she got mad. She said that I shouldn't feed her bananas because she'll just mush them into the highchair tray and it will be a bigger mess to clean up later. Said that it would "make her life harder later" and that I'm "annoying".
    via sealee-
  • I told her that if she's got a problem with how I'm caring for (and basically raising) her child, then she can start looking after her herself. And that let's face it, she probably wouldn't even be cleaning up the bananas later. She got
    via sealee-
  • mad and said that I have no right to judge her parenting and that I don't know how hard it is being a single parent. AITA for telling my sister that if she has a problem with how I'm raising her kid she can raise her herself?
    via sealee-
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  • Being unappreciated is frustrating. After bending over backwards and working hard to make a difference in someone's life, it seems like the least they can do is say, “Thank you.” But this young uncle learned that free babysitting is rarely seen as a favor and oftentimes, parents expect their “village” to do all the dirty work of parenting. Well, perhaps she'll think twice before berating her brother for feeding her 1-year-old a messy snack, because from now on, she'll have to do everything herself. 

  • MasterpieceOk4688. You have no right to judge her parenting... which parenting? The one she avoids like the plague? NTA but don't be naive, this situation is unstable for All of you because your sister is unstable. It's time to record and collect proof of her "parenting" because she seems like one of those people who weaponize their child.
    via MasterpieceOk4688
  • DarthRed Yoga ⚫ NTA. And it's fine if a baby mashes food. It's part of development. They're exploring and they're not exactly eating with forks and knives. Honest to goodness. Thank God you and your parents are there
    via DarthRed Yoga
  • pinknarc NTA Anything a 1.5 year old eats will be messy. Your sister shouldn't complain about free childcare as long as it's not dangerous or harmful.
    via pinknarc
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  • You sound like a good uncle stepping up for your niece. A lot of people your age wouldn't. That's another reason you're right to call out your sister for complaining. At 19 I wouldn't even babysit my stepsister, let alone a baby.
    via pinknarc
  • secastillo . You should have said "I do know what it's like being a single parent. I'm raising your kid for you."
    via secastillo
  • R4eth. Nta. She isn't a single parent. She's a person who had a kid and lives in the same house as the kid. Even the kid knows it. She calls for you after a nap, not her birth giver. So, if she wants to be a real single parent, then let her. Not your kid, not your
    via R4eth
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  • problem. Literally. Tell your mom and you and grandma will no longer be caring for Ruth's child. She said she's a single parent, then she can be a single parent. I give a her a day before she's on her knees begging
    via R4eth
  • you and mom to take back over again. And you shouldn't. You're 19. You should be living your life. Enjoying your youth. Not playing parent because your lazy a sister can't be bothered to care the kid she chose to have.
    via R4eth
  • SignificantScheme259. NTA. It doesn't sound like she knows how hard it is, and is just guessing. If it "takes a village," maybe don't look that gift village in the mouth, or something.
    via SignificantScheme259
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