Dad earning $200K a year asks stay-at-home mom to limit excess spending to $600 per week, she refuses to do so: 'Once the $600 is spent, she will just reach for another credit card'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 19, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

It doesn't matter how much money you bring home: it's essential to keep a budget. I'm not one of those people who writes out exactly how much I'm going to spend on every expense, though that's probably the most optimal way to budget. I subtract savings, investments, rent, and utilities from my monthly income, then divide the remaining amount by the number of days in a month. This gives me a daily spending limit. This system isn't perfect, as I often spend more on food than I should, but it works for me for now. It's much better than what I was doing before, which was barely saving anything and just making sure I didn't go below a certain number on my checking account. 

The easiest way for me to go off budget is to overspend on my credit card. When you're only using a debit card, you can't go over a certain amount without either depleting money from your savings or overdrawing your account. Credit cards allow you to not pay cash for your purchases for months or even years at a time, depending on how responsible or irresponsible you are with them.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • Cheezburger Image 10544342784
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The stay-at-home mom in this story has much more financial freedom than the average person. She has $600 a week to spend on groceries, gas, and whatever activities her kids want to engage in. If I were her, I'd get some sick season passes to Six Flags and use them all the time! But $600 a week is not enough for her, and she's constantly going over budget.

  • Partner won’t help budget

    Context: My wife is SAHM for past 4 years. We have 2 kids. I have offered to fully support here as a stay at home mom (her strong preference) or support her if she so chooses to pursue work. Basically, I have asked her to decide what she wants and I will help in any way I can.
    via u/DarthTheta
  • My request if she chooses to stay at home is that we agree upon a budget so we can keep track of finances, continue to try save, pay down some debt, etc.... You know, normal adult stuff.
    via u/DarthTheta
  • The details: we have agreed upon a $600 per week budget for groceries, gas and "extra" activities like local pool, occasional trip to the indoor play place, etc. Everything else is paid for and the 600$ per week doesn't include occasional big purchases like sports and gear, eating out, school clothes, vacations etc,
    via u/DarthTheta
  • I have told her repeatedly that cost of living these days I nuts, and we live In a VHCOL so my 200k salary really doesn't go that far. $600 seems reasonable for groceries and the 20-30 dollars in gas weekly and have a little left over to eat out 1-2 per month or do some occasional fun activities with the kids like go to a children's museum.
    via u/DarthTheta
  • The problem: she refuses to use the agreed upon check card we have dedicated to tracking our spending. Monthly expenses get spread out over multiple cards including credit cards for reasons unknown. We routinely go over budget by hundreds of dollars and occasionally thousands on a
    via u/DarthTheta
  • weekly basis. Yea you read that right. It happens at least a few times per year. Worse there is no way to keep track of anything when multiple accounts are being used.
    via u/DarthTheta
  • What seems to be happening is that once the 600 is spent she will just reach for another card. Or worse yet, she will just choose the wrong card out of her wallet and the plead ignorance. She also only shops organic, meal planning is done in 1-3 day stretches instead of for the week with as many as 3-4 different grocery runs per week and often
    via u/DarthTheta
  • Apples, bananas, lettuce, and bagels in brown paper bags
    via Maria Lin Kim

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 3-4 target runs per week. There seems to be no mechanism in place in her brain to say "hey, I have spent $300 of the weekly budget so far this weeks, that means I need to spend at least a few minutes planning out the finances for the rest of the week to try and stay within budget...."
    via u/DarthTheta
  • When we discuss this and I suggest she try to track expenses better it is not received well. She also has refused to change her shopping habits saying repeatedly "there are some things I just won't compromise on."
    via u/DarthTheta
  • When I suggest she take out all the extra cards out of her wallet other Than the weekly spender and an emergency credit card (that basically has no limit) she accuses me of financial ab_e. I spend absolutely zero dollars on my own hobbies, interest etc because there just isn't anything left. I just work extra shifts.
    via u/DarthTheta
  • Handsome businessman working in office on laptop with a cup of coffee on his desk
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • This has been going for years and I just don't know what to do anymore. We hemorrhage money every month, seemingly have no way to track expenses and I am always just picking up extra work in a very high stress industry to cover the bills. She has shown
    via u/DarthTheta
  • zero interest in trying to help me budget and if I stop checking the accounts it only gets worse as there is zero budgeting or balancing in real time and suddenly I have to be the one to bring up to "hey have you seen the budget this week seems we are over $300 dollars and it's only Thursday."
    via u/DarthTheta
  • Even worse she is constantly telling me how frugal she has to be and how she doesn't spend much money.... Meanwhile the Starbucks/Whole Foods/target runs continue to blow past our agreed upon budget with zero tracking or accountability of what we can reasonably afford as a single earner household.
    via u/DarthTheta
  • I feel like being a single earner household is somewhat unique these days and again, she really values being at home but what do you do when your partner work change their behavior in any way to make it work? I feel totally
    via u/DarthTheta
  • disrespected and unappreciated and worse we are really starting to fall behind financially because she seemingly can't be bothered to help follow a budget or be open to suggestions on how to stick to a budget.
    via u/DarthTheta
  • I have made so many suggestions over the years and nothing works and lately when I get on her about money now she claims she is the victim of financial ab e...
    via u/DarthTheta
  • I don't know what to do anymore. Anyone have any suggestions or similar scenario they worked out? Or, is this a totally unreasonable budget for a family of 4?
    via u/DarthTheta
  • stupes 100 It's a marriage problem manifesting as a money problem. You might have made a mistake marrying her. Try marriage counseling if she'll go. And if she won't go then you go by yourself for direction. This could lead to separation and divorce but you owe it to your kids to try to get on the same page.
    via u/stupes100
  • If you stick with it and end up broke in your older years you're going to resent the shout of her for not controlling her spending. Sorry man. Tough situation to be in.
    via u/stupes100
  • whosaysimme Yeah and the longer OP waits, the longer he'll have to pay alimony. I'm surprised he let this go on 4 years. Ironically, she'd stick to a budget really well if they were divorced.
    via u/whosaysimme
  • humpbackwhale88 You're being too nice about this. I say this as a SAHM who works 8-10 hours a week doing consulting work to make extra spending money. This isn't a “hey, can you pretty please stop going over budget consistently?" moment. It's a, "get out your wallet. We are cutting up the extra cards and shutting down all accounts but one or two. Stick to the budget or we're putting the kids in daycare and you can go back to work" moment.
    via u/humpbackwhale88
  • It's disrespectful that you have gone so far as to set a super reasonable budget ($600 a week is more than enough to feed a family of four really well and do plenty of activities) and then she turns around and overspends by hundreds, spreading the purchases out on multiple cards, and then feigning ignorance. It would be one thing if there wasn't a set budget and she was just kind of spending because there's not a clear limit, but part of being a stay at home parent is agreeing to the limits your
    via u/humpbackwhale88

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

stay at home mom toxic relationships credit cards relationship spending credit card spending money budgeting relationships dad mom money toxic relationship budget
Scroll Down For The Next Article