14-year-old begs 20-year-old sister who has 3 kids under 3 to not have a 4th baby: 'She doesn't clean up after kids. She leaves diapers everywhere.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Aug 22, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

It's generally a good rule of thumb to avoid telling others how to live their lives. If your college friend is considering becoming a monk and you think that's a weird choice, you could tell him that you think it's a terrible idea, or you could let him live his life because he knows what's best for him more than you do. The latter will probably help your friendship more than criticizing him from a judgmental place. If he's not hurting anybody, then what's the harm?

Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. If the way that someone else is living their life is affecting your life negatively, it's not always the worst idea to let them know. If your roommate is playing loud video games until 2 AM, it's not an infringement on their freedom to ask them to keep it down while you're trying to sleep. If your roommate complains that you're keeping them from "living their life," they have some serious growing up to do.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • Woman in black and white flannel sitting on concrete stairs
    via Zhivko Minkov

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • You can't always get someone to do what you think is best for them, but you can at least try. The young teen in this story is struggling with her family situation. Her older sister is a mother of three with one on the way at the ripe old age of twenty. Her sister and all of her kids sleep in the same bedroom as this teen, and it's constantly chaotic. When she asked her sister to consider not having a fourth child, she was shunned.

  • Am I wrong for telling my sister to stop having kids?

    I'm 14, and my sister is 20. She has three kids (3yo 2yo 7mo) We've been sharing a room since I was little and after she had the kids, they also share the room with us. It's gotten so crowded that there's stuff everywhere. She never tries to get a job or anything to help the kids or our family.
    via u/Apprehensive_Pen3845
  • Tired and frustrated mother with small toddler daughter in messy bedroom
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She's always with some guy or friends, leaving the kids home with me. I can't even sleep after school because I have to watch them. She will literally wait home with already made plans and leave as soon as I walk in the door from school, which makes me so mad.
    via u/Apprehensive_Pen3845
  • Woman wearing blue and white floral spaghetti strap dress
    via Leyli Nova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • She also doesn't clean up after the kids. She leaves diapers everywhere, and our parents are always working to support all of us. She acts like they're terrible parents if they disagree with anything she does.
    via u/Apprehensive_Pen3845
  • She told me she was pregnant again a few days ago and I'd been trying to be nice to her bc I know she's my sister but I was so frustrated already I told her not to have it and never have any more if she doesn't wanna grow up and be a mom and she got so mad at me cussed me out and even my mom when she tried to stop us from yelling at eachother
    via u/Apprehensive_Pen3845
  • Now she's started sleeping on the couch and only comes into our room when she needs something from there and giving me silent treatment all week.
    via u/Apprehensive_Pen3845
  • Individual_Metal_983 You need to speak to your parents. Your sister is having children then dumping them on a child to care for. This is parentification and it's child ab e. Your parents need to put a stop to this and tell your sister to look after her own children or call in child services. This behaviour is impacting your schoolwork and own tome.
    via u/Individual_Metal_983
  • Do you have a friend you can go with after school? So you cannot be forced into childcare. Is there a teacher you can speak to? Your sister is an unfit parent and totally selfish. And really your own parents need to do their job and protect you. ΝΤΑ
    via u/Individual_Metal_983
  • jubangyeonghon No, OP needs to call CPS or speak to a trusted adult who can call CPS on her behalf. These living conditions and the fact she's being parentified at 14, unable to sleep etc. Her parents aren't there to look after OP who is still a minor, the only other 'adult' (not like she acts like it) is her sister and she dumps 3 extremely young minors with OP. What happens in the case of an emergency?! This is so ab ive and disgusting.
    via u/jubangyeonghon
  • Girl_Power55 I would not go home after school. I'd take extra food in the morning for dinner, and go to the library to do my homework, friends houses, anywhere rather than go home. I'd go home as late as I could. She wouldn't get any babysitting out of me.
    via u/Girl_Power55
  • mca2021 I was thinking the same. Go to a friend's place to take a nap, or library. If she gets mad, tell her your school is more important than her social life. Who knows, she may not be able to get pregnant again if she's actually raising them
    via u/mca2021
  • Maleficent_Amoeba_39 From the sounds of it, the sister might either make the parents take care of the kids or try to get OP in trouble for not coming home to take care of the kids. She's too immature to be a parent.
    via u/Maleficent_Amoeba_39
  • No-Town5321 Yup, get an after school job. Some places can hire 14 year old as grocery baggers and other jobs that dont require tons of responsibility. This way your sister gets used to not counting on you, your parents dont have much grounds for giving you sh for not helping as much, and you get tl save money to get outta there on your 18 birthday if things dont improve.
    via u/No-Town5321
  • Random Girl42 NTA. Fourth child at 20 without an actual husband, or even boyfriend? Your sister sounds like the human equivalent of a stray that needs neutering, tbh. And your parents not doing anything about it, what the h is wrong with them!?
    via u/RandomGirl42
  • HyperDsloth Yeah, why not teach her proper birth control after the first? Also, where is the father(s)?
    via u/HyperDsloth
  • Gollum Trees That is what I never understood about these scenarios. I understand birth control fails or wanting to keep a child but being young and one kid after another, up to 6 kids that aren't even being cared for? I will never understand this. My former mother in law had 3 babies back to back by completely random one night stands then abandoned them... just... why???????????
    via u/GollumTrees
  • runrunpuppets NTA! Call CPS. Your sister is a trash human.
    via u/runrunpuppets
  • lovescarats No one should bring children into the world they can't provide for. What is she doing? Agree- call CPS
    via u/lovescarats
  • Sorry_I_Guess CPS won't do anything. They aren't in charge of people's reproductive choices (nor should they be). As awful as this situation is, and as irresponsible as the sister is, it sounds like her kids are safe, fed, sheltered, and cared for (even if it's by their aunt and grandparents). CPS isn't going to do anything about this.
    via u/Sorry_I_Guess
  • This isn't an issue for Child Protective Services. It's an issue for the parents, who are enabling their 20-year-old to be shockingly irresponsible by providing her with a comfortable way to do exactly that.
    via u/Sorry_I_Guess
  • runrunpuppets I guess I'm also concerned for OP's welfare too...
    via u/runrunpuppets
  • Pavatopia NTA. You're too young to be dealing with this, OP (I mean that to say that this is NOT your fault, and this should not be happening to you). Your parents should really be trying to get your sister to move out at this stage. She's an adult with three kids and is disrupting your ability to have a peaceful childhood as well as not being able to give her own kids the space they need to grow up. Depending on where you live, overcrowding can be considered a form of legal child neglect and ma
    via u/Pavatopia
  • Straight-Note-8935 Your sister has a mental illness of some kind. Your parents and your sister are not really dealing with the problems here because they are all overwhelmed by the situation your sister has created. Instead they are living day-to-day with no plan, except for YOU picking up the slack. A 14 year old is not a back-up plan. There are THREE adults in your home, but none of them are taking responsibility for YOU.
    via u/Straight-Note-8935
  • I suggest you spend as little time at home as possible, so that aren't the back up plan anymore. But I want you to use that time constructively, bettering yourself. School's over? Go to the library. Take your school work and go to the library and stay there. Fill your day with school and school activities. These next few years are super-important to your future, but you are going to have to make that happen for yourself. That means good grades so you can hope for a college scholarship of some ki
    via u/Straight-Note-8935
  • The next step may be harder for you to do: If you have a good friend, explain your situation and see if your friend's family can help you in small ways - staying for dinner and spending the night now and then. If your parents and sister complain - and they will - stick to your guns: "I am not being selfish or mean. I am doing what I have to do in this situation: looking out for myself and building a healthier future for myself."
    via u/Straight-Note-8935
  • Lots of teens have made these two steps work for them: separating from the family by spending their time constructively elsewhere, and creating connections that become a healthier substitute for a home life.
    via u/Straight-Note-8935
  • North Artichoke_6721 100% agree. Especially about the library. Tell your parents you're going to do your homework at the library and you need to look up something. Go there straight after school. The library in our town is open until 8pm. It has air conditioning (and heat in the winter) and free wifi. Stay there as long as possible. Do your homework there. Many libraries have clubs for various interests. Crafts, Legos, Conversational Spanish, whatever - join all of them. Even if it's just you an
    via u/North_Artichoke_6721

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

Babies teens family drama baby kids mother sisters teenagers siblings bad parenting bad parents babysitting little kids family sister mom parents
Scroll Down For The Next Article