30-year-old woman hires ex-chef roommate to prep her meals for an elimination diet, uses this an excuse to steal her food: ‘Not a great way to talk to someone who hired you’

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 25, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

I don't know about you, but I get weirdly protective over sweets I've baked myself. I don't often pull out the ole measuring cups and mittens, but when I do, I mean serious business. If I spent an hour stirring, measuring a bunch of powders, baking, and waiting for it all to cool down, I think that I deserve to take that first, sacred bite. It really hits a nerve when someone else thinks that they are entitled to swoop in and steal that experience from you, especially when they do so without asking.

You know what's worse? When someone takes more of something than you ever intended to give them. Today's narrator always shares her baked goods with her roommates, but after one of them takes the two largest blueberry muffins from her most recent bake while they are cooling down without even asking, what might have been an honest snack grab turns into a way bigger conflict. Suddenly, feelings about money, fairness, and past grievances come to the surface… All because of some blueberry muffins.

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  • 01

    AIO at my flatmates response after I confronted her about eating my muffins?

    A woman taking a blueberry muffin
    via inventbart

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Today 3:53 PM Oi did you take 2 muffins?? Oh yes sorry haha! The first one had heaps of blueberry in it and not much batter. I'm actually pretty annoyed about that, you should have asked. Next time no muffins for you. I already said sorry. Yeah no worries I won't take your muffins again but not a great way to talk to someone who hired you tbh! Don't talk to me that way again. Edited + iMessage Delivered
    via u/jennifer_jellyfish
  • 03
    I (28f) baked some blueberry muffins today and left them to cool on the bench. Recipe says it would make 12 regular sized muffins but in reality I got 9 tiny muffins, small cupcake
    via u/jennifer_jellyfish
  • 04
    sized. I ate one then went to my room waiting for them to cool down and my flatmate (30f) comes downstairs and asked if she can have one. I tell her they're not that great as they didn't rise enough and the recipe made less than intended, but she can have one.
    via u/jennifer_jellyfish
  • 05
    I came out from my room later on to see she had taken 2 muffins - the largest ones - leaving me with 6 tiny muffins left. I was pretty annoyed since it took me over an hour to make
    via u/jennifer_jellyfish
  • 06
    them and I wanted them to last the whole week as I'm not doing well financially right now and need to make what I have last until my next pay. For context, I do like to share and regularly offer my flatmates little bits
    via u/jennifer_jellyfish
  • 07
    of whatever I am making, usually some cut fruit or snacks. However this flatmate does tend to ask me 1-2 times a week if I have any snacks (outside of what I offer) while earning
    via u/jennifer_jellyfish
  • 08
    more than 2-3x my income, which adds to the annoyance. So I admit I could have sounded less p ed off in my text but I was already in a bad mood and this took the cake (technically, muffin).
    via u/jennifer_jellyfish
  • 09
    More context, she wanted to go on an elimination diet and doesn't like cooking/ prep work, I used to be a professional chef and she asked me
    via u/jennifer_jellyfish
  • 10
    multiple times over several weeks if I could cook for her and she'd pay me, so I did, for 2 weeks. That's what she's referring to when she said she hired me.
    via u/jennifer_jellyfish
  • 11
    A woman cutting bell peppers are part of a meal prep
    via Hiraman from Getty Images Signature

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    Anyway, I am quite upset over her response and think she was quite ride especially bringing up the fact that she 'hired me' as she still owes me the money for the work I did for her. I think it comes off as manipulative and almost threatening. So am I overreacting or is she overreacting?
    via u/jennifer_jellyfish

  • Hmm, and in my opinion, that’s not a great way to talk to someone who is literally making and handling your food, sister!

  • 13
    David CrosbysMustache The worst part isn't the muffins, it's insinuating that you somehow ought to just roll over because they hired you. Like "I can treat you however I want because I got you a job so be I grateful and shut up." F that. Find a new job if at all possible because people like this don't change.
    via u/DavidCrosbysMustache
  • 14
    A woman with her finger on her lips
    via Sound On from Pexels

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    | Shugazi agree completely. But it seems like the "hiring" was more of a side gig for a couple weeks, not a job she still has. Though... a different job might be a good idea if you have to be this careful with your muffins. I am NOT condoning the roommate taking an extra one, nor her response, but I don't think someone with food security would be this upset in the first place.
    via u/Shugazi
  • 16
    you Owlindigo She sounds awful, I initially thought had overreacted a little bit but given the context, nope, she was lucky to get a single muffin at all.
    via u/Owlindigo
  • 17
    Madlkra Not overreacting - Your flatmate seems to think they're better than you because they "hired you", definitely some superiority complex there. Entitlement goes hand in hand with that, hence why they probably thought they could just help themselves to your stuff.
    via u/Madlkra
  • 18
    When you initially called them out on it, their first response was to try and belittle you "too many blueberries and not enough batter", imagine stealing food and critiquing said food lol! The audacity
    via u/Madlkra
  • 19
    Lower_Reflection_834 the times i have most been enraged in my life is when someone has eaten the food i had clearly left myself to eat with no ambiguity to its ownership.
    via u/Lower_Reflection_834
  • 20
    it was usually my younger brother so all i could do was text him angrily and get a "lol sorry"
    via u/Lower_Reflection_834

  • It’s really not that hard to just say you’re sorry, that you overstepped. Roomies swiping baked goods isn’t exactly a new concept, and it is forgivable. But this one here really tried to pull some kind of weird powerplay to justify her entitledness.

  • 21
    Blueberry muffins on a wooden board
    via A_Lein from Getty Images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 22
    that's typical sibling stuff, so i let it go, but this is a roommate and also your boss if i'm understanding correctly??? talk about a lack of boundaries and respect. feels like a power trip and you KNOW she isn't actually sorry.
    via u/Lower_Reflection_834
  • 23
    planetdaily420 I will never understand why it is so hard for some people to say they are sorry. That would have wrapped this whole thing up. "My bad. I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. I owe you one." And that's it. So easy.
    via u/planetdaily420
  • 24
    Fragrant_Bug_8242 I think the flat mate arrangement is a little off balance. I would be retorting back at one point with a reminder of the money she owes. Perhaps an invoice to her email. Even a text say oh yeah I forgot about that because you didn't pay me yet. It's way please send asap. Maybe I can add more batter to the next muffins once you do lol. by the
    via u/Fragrant_Bug_8242
  • 25
    Then going forward minimise the sharing. You can't afford it and they are not appreciative of the effort or the impact on your week when they take.
    via u/Fragrant_Bug_8242
  • 26
    I can see at the beginning they took 2 small cakes rather than 1 and not realising it's a bigger deal for you. But what tipped me to your favour was the comment saying they hired you... that was a power play and not ok in the home.
    via u/Fragrant_Bug_8242
  • 27
    Also if you do want to "work" for them again request upfront payment. I normally have to pay online for services upfront so it's not anything unusual. If they don't like to say it's ok. We don't have to work together.
    via u/Fragrant_Bug_8242
  • 28
    I think living in house shares is tough even more so when money is tight and someone else feels more entitled. Good luck.
    via u/Fragrant_Bug_8242

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