'How [...] did a spray tan cost more than the cocktail hour': Bride shows full breakdown of $18k wedding costs, commenters question her choices

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 31, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Humans are nosy by nature. We'd like to know what's going on in other people's lives. If I had the ability to super-hear when I wanted to, I would eavesdrop on everybody's conversations. I wanna know all the interpersonal drama of everybody's friend groups, what their dreams, hopes, and desires are, and how much money they're spending. That last one is a big one. At least in this country, people can be pretty tight-lipped about money. 

We think it's gauche to talk about how much you make, how much you spend, and how much things cost. If you're well off, you don't want it to seem like you're bragging. If you're less than well off, you might not want the world knowing the inner workings of your finances. But we're curious people. We want to know what your bank account looks like. And sometimes you see a wedding on Instagram, and you wish you could have their budget breakdown so you can know just how out of reach it is. Well, one Redditor provided that in great detail. 

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  • 01
    A bride and groom hold hands.
    via Jeremy Wong Weddings

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • This bride shared the full spread of what she and her fiancé spent on their wedding, where the money came from, and where it went. All laid out in a beautiful flow chart. But commenters had something to say about what they ended up spending our money on. Read on to see the breakdown and hear what commenters said.

  • 02

    My 18k wedding for -80 people

    Bride's dad 5,000.00 Groom's parents 6,500.00 Wedding 18,201.98 Bride's mom 80.00 Bride's grandfather 1,000.00 Planner 244.37 DOC 750.00 DOC Hotel Vendor 10,926.01 Attire 2,544.41 277.64 Photo/Video 4,864.00 DJ 700.00 Hair 265.00 Makeup 480.00 Photobooth 500.00 Spray tan 115.00 Venue 2,505.00 Party Bus 225.00 Bride misc 383.49 Brides dress 731.88 Drycleaning 217.35 Grooms suit 373.43 Jewelry 838.26 Rehearsal dinner 627.00 Lunch Bride and Groom 5,621.98 Food 2,719.17 39.95 Cocktail hour 77.40 Dec
    via u/IdkJustPickSomething
  • 03
    42 3 Invited adults 70 ■ Both Reception Did not attend Ceremony
    via u/IdkJustPickSomething
  • 04
    Wedding gifts ■No show, None Attended, Monetary ■Not invited, Monetary ■ Attended, None ■ Attended, Gift Sent, Gift, 1 Vendor, Gift, 1 No show, None, 3 Attended, Gift, 13 ■ Vendor, Gift ■ Sent, Gift Attended, None, 15 Not invited, Monetary, 1 Attended, Monetary, 47
    via u/IdkJustPickSomething
  • 05
    $200 $180 $160 $140 $120 $100 $80 $60 $40 $20 $- Wedding Monetary Gifts 2 2 2 2 221222222222222210 22 2 220 22 Guests per card 1
    via u/IdkJustPickSomething
  • 06
    Trying this again when it's Monday for my [OC]. My data source was manually tracked expenses and categorized into SankeyMATIC.com I love a Sankey. Other graphs were from Excel. Please be kind if I made a mistake, I am a human.
    via u/IdkJustPickSomething
  • 07
    My total headcount given was 79 adult guests, 96 with vendors and children (the math to count kids was weird). Honestly most of our guests were married couples, a few kids, and 4 single people total. Sankey: We planned a wedding we wanted, not expecting anything from parents. We are very grateful of their unexpected contributions. *Most* of the contributions came with no strings attached, which was very stress free. Ask away, this is the bulk of the info!
    via u/IdkJustPickSomething
  • 08
    Excel graphs: We had very few no shows: one couple missed their flight and one plus one didn't show. One coworker randomly sent me $20 on venmo the morning of my wedding, so she's the "not invited" and man do I feel bad about not inviting her! Day of, we had 2 gifts to take home. The rest were sent before or slightly after. Just a bunch of cards!
    via u/IdkJustPickSomething
  • 09
    I excluded the monetary gifts noted on the left of the Sankey in an effort to not distort the data, so you could see how much was actually given by guests. As you can see, most cards represented two people (as mentioned, mostly couples), so the amount is how much was given by the couple. One O was the coworker who sent money, the other O was the no show couple (kept them on the list to send a thank you, since they tried).
    via u/IdkJustPickSomething
  • 10
    I'm not sharing this to comment on the price of weddings in general, or any commentary on the wedding industry. Don't come at me for spending money that you wouldn't spend. I'm voluntarily sharing data, so don't judge my choices.
    via u/IdkJustPickSomething
  • 11

    Commenters gave their thoughts.

    rlh17 1d ago How in the h I did a spray tan cost more than the cocktail hour
    via u/rlh17
  • 12
    IdkJustPickSomething OP. 1d ago It was 2 spray tans, a trial and wedding. Hand sprayed. Didn't want to f it up haha. And the cocktail hour was just popcorn, nothing special :(
    via u/IdkJustPickSomething
  • 13
    PM-me-your-cuppa... · 1d ago Vendor -> spray tan is my favourite part of this. But really interesting, thanks for sharing OP
    via u/PM-me-your-cuppa-tea
  • 14
    chupagatos4 · 1d ago The 18k budget where only 1300 is allocated to dinner is driving me nuts, like I don't understand how it's possible. More than 60% of our budget was food, and we didn't do anything extravagant AND it was pre-pan mic where costs were lower. I spent $80
    via u/chupagatos4
  • 15
    on my dress and did my own hair/makeup, no jewelry no nails, no flowers, that's how frugal we were, still spent much much more on food. Either way, congratulations!
    via u/chupagatos4
  • 16
    thishitisgettingold · 1d ago . How did you spend 6k for photo and video and only 2k for food? That's mindblowing.
    via u/thishitisgettingold
  • 17
    stephen1547 · 1d ago Are we going to talk about the $80 the bride's mom contributed?
    via u/stephen1547
  • 18
    thisisthatacct 1d ago laybe my friends drink too uch, but I think I could hit a $400 alcol bill with a keg, Costco liquor, 5-6 friends and a solid day party
    via u/thisisthatacct
  • 19
    Nya7 • 1d ago $17/person for food?? Did you serve a burger and fries??
    via u/Nya7
  • 20
    CalgaryChris77 • 1d ago $16/plate for food and $5/person for alcol? What is this wizardry.
    via u/CalgaryChris77
  • 21
    goldentone 1d ago. . Everyone is trashing the bride's mom's $80 gift. Maybe you should explain that, because I know my mom could only do a gift like that on her budget, and I would feel bad if she did what she could but hundreds of strangers were making fun of her anyway.
    via u/goldentone
  • 22
    Mirar 1d ago Nice breakdown. I always wondered how it got that expensive.
    via u/Mirar
  • 23
    Tricera Doctor • 21h ago . Shout out to the uninvited co- worker who sent money. Genuine kindness.
    via u/TriceraDoctor
  • 24
    Stonebeast1 · 1d ago A planner for less than $250? I really hope for that price it wasn't a planner but maybe a friend helping out. And I agree with others. Less than $2k for dinner /drinks for 90 is insane....
    via u/Stonebeast1
  • 25
    Tripstrr 1d ago Photo and video being almost a 1/3rd of your budget is wild. We're in Austin and spent maybe $2k with a pro.
    via u/Tripstrr
  • 26
    TheBeatGoesAnanas 1d ago . Where did you find a wedding coordinator for $277? Mine was for the day only, gave us the friends & family discount, and it was still $1000.
    via u/TheBeatGoesAnanas
  • 27
    Rakebleed · 1d ago Sorry but is it customary to keep track of gifts this way? I've never thought of weddings as an income stream or a transactional event.
    via u/Rakebleed

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Wedding Themes family drama bride marriage wedding party budgeting mean wedding story brides wedding cake family reddit thread Reddit bullying weddings budget Maid Of Honor
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