Husband plans romantic weekend getaway for him and wife to reconnect, throws tantrum when wife's distant cousins insert themselves into dinner plans, tension rises when wife refuses to cancel: 'She's too polite'

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Emma Saven
Aug 30, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Quality time is an essential part of any healthy relationship, whether it's your chosen form of love language or not. With busy weekly schedules, babies under 2, and the ins and outs of daily life, it's super easy to get distracted and forget about the one person who means the most, your partner! Remember, they're the only family members you chose, so maintaining a happy relationship and putting time aside for them is truly important! 

After having a newborn baby last July, this husband decided that it was finally time to plan an abroad, romantic getaway for him and his wife. Everything was planned to the T - a weekend full of seeing their favorite bands, eating lots of good food, and finally reconnecting like they're 17 again…There's just one slight issue that seems to be arising…After his wife innocently asked her cousins, who just so happen to live in their country of choice, for restaurant recommendations, her cousins inserted themselves into some of their weekend plans, taking away from the quality time they had planned! Her husband is furious when he discovers that his wife thinks it's impolite to cancel…and the thought of spending this special weekend with people he's met twice in the last 14 years isn't making the situation any better!

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  • Now his wife's giving him the cold shoulder, and their romantic trip is hanging on by its final thread! Was his tantrum a childish response to adding a few extra chairs to the dinner table, or does this hubby have every right to feel frustrated when his thoughtful planning and intention of quality time gets flushed down the drain…?

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    Outdoor double date
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    AITA - First weekend away with my wife in over a year since we had a baby ...

    So wifey and I are going abroad to see one of our favourite bands this weekend. We actually had tickets to see them last year but
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    ended up being on our babies due date so we couldn't go so thought this would be a nice way to bring it all full circle.
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    Anyways since we have had legit - zero days just us together since July last year we decided to make a weekend of it and take
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    advantage and do two nights as her mother will mind the baby for us. I had envisaged taking her to a nice restaurant and seeing
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    some sights and mayne take in a show on the first night, then the concert and drinks the second etc.
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    Her cousin (who I have met twice in 14 years... wedding included) lives in the same city so my wife asked her if she had any
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    recommendations for somewhere nice to eat. I'm not sure how (or why) but the cousin decided to book a table for us and her husband for dinner on the first
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    night. They don't even know where in the city we are staying so likely travel involved but anyway.
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    Now look they are nice people - but I wanted a chance to reconnect with my wife, relax and have a fun weekend so when she told me 'the plan' I suggested she
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    go back to them and say look, sorry but we already had plans etc. But she thinks that makes us the assh*le and won't do it. She asked if it was really that bad? To
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    which I said look I'm not going to apologise for wanting to spend time with her, and not her family the one opportunity we've had to do so since 2024.
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    I told her how r..de and presumptuous it was of ger cousin to make plans for us all, that we have never hung out with them before and there is a
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    significant age/interest gap between us, and that I wasn't going. The net result is that now instead of being a few days away from
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    what should have been a great weekend away we aren't speaking to eachother because she's too polite to cancel. So - AITA ?
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    Couple having an argument
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    Caliopebookworm Make alternate plans to meet the cousin, tell her that you really wanted to have a special dinner and THEN PLAN A SPECIAL DINNER. It's important to have that one on one time when you can. That said, being angry with her solves nothing.
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    sweatyknacker OP Im not angry at her at all Im angry at her cousin!
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    Neat_Ad_1618 YTA- why on earth would you tell these people you were going to be in town, and then refuse to see them? The cousin wasn't presumptive. She drew a natural conclusion, and then tried to do a nice thing. You're suffering the consequences of your wife's social faux pax.
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    sweatyknacker OP We would have happily met them for a quick drink. We did not expect them to take over the entire evening - we barely know them
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    Desperate-Wheel4047 You're NTA for wanting to have a dinner with just your wife. YTA though for your temper tantrum and ruining the whole weekend with your c p attitude.
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    Brilliant-Reindeer93 YTA! Your massive overreaction and temper tantrum are a much bigger barrier to reconnecting with your wife than a couple of hours having dinner with her cousin.
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    janisemarie It's hardly "r ide and presumptuous " for an out of town relative to make plans with you when you say hey I'm coming to your town, where should I eat? She probably thought that was the point of reaching out!! But NAH, just tell her you guys want a rare meal out alone. Not a big deal.
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    Expert_Slip7543 NTA, this is about more than a dinner. Be vulnerable, talk to your wife and explain how much you were longing for her company alone. Explain that to you it's like relatives inviting themselves to join you for dinner during your honeymoon.
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    Specific-Syllabub-54 NTA your wife should have spoke up as soon as cousin mentioned dinner, sorry but OP and I have not had a date, getaway, or any alone time in over a year and this weekend get away is for us but next time we are in the area we can get together or make a separate plan for another time.
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    destro23 - YTA A dinner takes a couple of hours during which you will still be with your wife. Now your whole vacation is f she is too polite, but inflexible. ed up, and not because because you are too
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    Chance-Idea 1090 NAH. But leaning towards Y T A. What's preventing you from having dinner with them for an hour and then excusing yourself? Your wife may want to see them but she should have talked to you about it first.
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marriage recommendations quality time wife cancelling husband plans dinner Travel restaurants memebase out of town taking over alone cousins children
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