20+ Employers who talked with bizarre job candidates: 'She didn't understand we weren't going to hire her'

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    "Employers... who was the worst job applicant you've ever seen?"

    lotus38 I had a guy apply to an online job posting, but all he sent was a picture of his dog and somehow no contact information.
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    [deleted] First interview question, the candidate starts rambling about an argument that he had with his mother that morning how she thinks - that he's too quiet but he's actually just thinking and that he absolutely HATES when someone interrupts his thinking because then he has to start over again ... this went on for 10 full minutes as he got
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    progressively more and more upset, ending his rant with a loud slam of his hand on the table. - Ohh kaaay moving on. We ask the next question, and he just sits there staring at the wall. The other interviewer and I exchange desperate glances. After the longest minute I've ever experienced, I offer that we can come back to that question later. He lets out an
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    a long frustrated sigh and just glares at us. He did not get the job.
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    morganstern Got a resume from a "Chicken Deboner", applying for a sales job, and had only has ever been a chicken deboner. That's fine, chickens need to be de- boned i guess. It was written in pencil, on the back of bank stationary. His english was decent and dressed well, so we hired him.
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    LegoHurtsLikeSatan Not an employer but my friend told me one day that she didn't get the theatre manager job she wanted in the local hospital. She has a degree in film studies. She applied for a job in an operating theatre and didn't even question the application process, she just thought that the questions were purposely challenging.
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    ReaperEDX The whole resume was in bullet points, including their name.
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    [deleted] For the last 3 places of employment, reason for leaving was listed as: FIRE. Asked him "What were you fired for?" He replies "No, no, 'fire'. My exgirlfriend came and burned the place down."
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    FuzzyCheddar She didn't understand we weren't going to hire her. I told her politely, because she was bad and we would never hire her anyway, that we didn't have work for her.
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    She kept telling me when she could start and everything and I kept saying, "I can't hire you, there's literally no work for you here." Which got the reply, "ok, I'll call you Monday to let you know my schedule."
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    Woman in white shirt sitting on tan couch and holding her temples while grimacing
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    ThR... Worked in a grocery store chain back in the day. Started as a summer temp and eventually got hired out of high school and stayed on a few years. As a general rule, the daytime shifts were coveted and mostly given to more experienced employees while a summer temp and one experienced employee would work afternoons
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    (4pm-11:30pm). One morning, my boss and I were stocking fruit when a mother came in asking for a summer job for her son. No sign of the son himself. My boss told her that he could swing by himself with a resumé for him and he'd look into it as we were looking for summer temps. She simply replied that she was all the resumé he needed as she had many
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    years of experience as an employer and could guarantee that he would do a good job. At this point, my boss is sort of just dumbfounded, but then she keeps talking. She says that he can not work evenings whatsoever as he's far too busy with his friends, and that he would be working 9am to 5pm at the very latest. He would also be unavailable for weekends
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    and would take a three- week summer holiday to go to Spain with the family. After this, she just asked my boss "so, should he just be here Monday morning then?" I've never seen a man struggle so much with giving a professional "no thanks".
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    mogoul Not an employer, but my manager showed me a form filled by an applicant. Under the question "Why should we hire you", the person wrote "I don't want to work, my parents threatened to cancel my internet if I don't apply for jobs."
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    Hectorc34 An older woman submitted a photo of herself where she needed to attach her resume. She was hired
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    lucedin I've seen a resume turned in with their name misspelled and crossed out and then correctly spelled.
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    Hilarious, this is a perfect personality hire!

    Checks Out Once was shown a job application for a college internship that had the applicants flappy bird score. on it.
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    Goy... I run a weld shop. Generally speaking, I don't give a sh about past history, tattoos, anything. As long as you're here on time, every day, and do a good job, you're golden. I'll look past a lot on a resume. One morning I check my email and see a reply to a Craigslist job listing I had posted about a month prior.
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    In the very first mine he says "do you dig test?". Ok, whatever. Most of my guys are on something. I reply back that no, it's not company policy, but I will 'random' at my description. About an hour later I get his resume. Dude had absolutely zero welding experience, which isn't necessarily a problem because some of my best guys have come in with no experience. But this
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    particular resume, if you can even call it that, was one job. Taco Bell. After ignoring the resume, he just shows up like 2 days later. High as sh on probably meth. This dude was probably 35. He was here for his interview. I had to very kindly tell him to f off.
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    He started crying. Like full on anger-weeping right in front of me like I just k led his mother. We had to literally drag the dude out of the office. He wiped away his tears, got on his bicycle, and screamed a mouthful of profanities as he pedaled away.
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    Guy_Onthe_Internet I worked in recruiting, so I saw tons of resumes. It's tough when you don't really have any job experience, but I saw one resume where the guy just had: • Name • contact info • Education: none .
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    . • Work experience: Picking up leaves for old people That was literally his whole resume. 4 points, 12 pt font, covered an inch and half of a sheet of paper.
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    Jim... Applicant was going for an entry level job with an M.A. They told us they were an adjunct professor and would be getting a full time job so would probably leave after that.
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    Ugh. I work in academia, I know the pain of being an adjunct but you cost yourself the job. Worse, you lost to a younger, less experienced applicant because they didn't announce their intention to leave before getting the job. LPT: Don't tell us you're leaving. Don't. Ever.
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    wallaballabingbong As a recruiter I've seen some pretty bad candidates. I did finance recruiting so most were very serious in their job search. But, I had one guy who had a stellar resume come in wearing cargo shorts in a t shirt; we asked them to wear interview attire. He smacked his gum, used bout half a bottle of the hand sanitizer in 15 mins, rolled his eyes,
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    answered his phone with an incoming call and put on his sunglasses for the last half. I told him to call me when he's serious about finding a job. Not crazy but I felt so disrespected and it was like a 10 year old in a 40 year old body. TLDR; so unprofessional and a , i was a back.
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    Iwantbubbles I had a girl who, during her interview said that she identifies as a wolf and only wanted to be addressed by her wolf name. It was something weird and I can't remember what it was. We didn't hire her. Her mother called and asked why.
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    Diva

    Rebzo A new waitress came in for her first shift last Sunday. She quit when she learned she would have to broom and mop the floors
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    Squeakss I managed a housewares. store and some guy came in wanting to apply for a job opening I had. He listed his first name as "Vamp" on the application and while interviewing him I saw that he had vampire teeth in. Needless to say that was a big no on hiring him. ☑
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    FoxInKneeSocks A man came into the fancy office I was interning at to ask for a promotion. He wasn't wearing a shirt..
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    Boo... Reference: John Doe/Relationship to applicant: baby daddy Wow.
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    ilsvm11 Had a guy come in and saw that our company sold gas siphons. He said that he wished he knew that they were sold at his last job so that he could steal gas from his last boss. This was mentioned as he was handing me his filled out application.
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    solomania9 Once saw a guy blatantly fake an accent. He asked me for directions upon entering the office in a British accent. Then when I chatted with his interviewer afterwards, he said the guy had no British accent at all. O
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    stitchescutfigures Scrolling through the applicant's experience...suddenly I see our company's name. We were a very small businesss with 12 employees. I went to find the guy who was previously in charge of hiring - "oh yes, Susan? She was the WORST employee we've ever had and was fired a couple of years ago. Why do you ask?"
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    Daedalus_0_ My fiance received an application that was under 10 words. It just had two previous jobs, not companies mind you just something like "box packer" (can't remember exactly) and a contact number. The best bit was that it didn't even have a name on it .
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    lonerchick We had a guy apply with no phone number. He also refused to give phone numbers for his former employers and references. No phone number for the employers is not a big deal. But combined with everything else, this tells me he would be a difficult person if hired.
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    Ross- As a teenager I was applying to a TON of places to get a job, and had like 20+ applications in my car. Accidentally turned an application in to the wrong place. They pointed it out immediately when I handed it in, and even though I apologized profusely and explained I was applying to multiple places for
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    employment I just knew that app went straight in the garbage.
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    goatous Had a guy show up with his tie tied around his neck, not under his shirt collar, around his neck, and his shirt was buttoned to the top and he pulled the tie up and over the top button. It looked goofy as can be. At first I thought he might be just trying too hard to stand out,
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    but after speaking with him, he was a little off. Had another guy, the same week, show up with his tie tied inside out. I think he simply screwed up, because he was super nervous but otherwise normal.
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    uranus_be_cold We had a software developer position open up, and selected this one guy for an interview. When his appointment time rolls around, we go to get him from the lobby.
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    Except it is not him. The guy who showed up explains that he is the candidate's agent! On the plus side, that was the fastest interview ever.
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    This is wild

    lendergle I used to do tech screens over the phone for a contracting firm. I had so many fake resumes come though, it wasn't funny. Sometimes I'd get the same resume, or paragraphs from one, in multiple other resumes. The record was four guys submitting almost identical resumes.
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    I used to try to fool them into admitting it. I would ask "Oh, your last gig was at XYZ Company in Somecity?" I worked there too! Which parking lot did you use? Instant panicked silence. Some of them would try to fudge it. They'd say "I don't remember." Then I'd say "where was it located? In front of the building? Out back? Was it in a garage or just a open lot?" One guy
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    was actually a genius: he said "Lot A." It was still a cookie-cutter resume, so I said "I don't think there's a Lot A there." He broke down and admitted he was lying- but I did give him credit for a good try before tossing his paper on the Nope pile. I had guys who gave perfect interviews but then showed up as clueless as if they'd never even seen the product
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    they'd be working with. That went on for a while- until I started recognizing the voice of the one guy who did all of the interviewing. I've had interviews where I could literally HEAR the guy on the other end typing my questions into Google, then waiting for the results, and then reading -verbatim- what was on the web page that looked most promising.
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    There was one time I actually Googled it at the same time, and then read aloud along with the guy and finished up the sentence. I could go on and on. The lengths these third-party contracting firms would go to just to get someone placed were astounding. Not a week went by where I didn't call up a colleague and say "you won't believe this..."
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    Sheesh

    Gunslinger_11 Not management, my dad was getting a pizza at Hungry Howies this guy comes in after my dad with his mother in law. He can't grasp the concept of a 2 topping pizza and trying to make it 3 toppings for the same price.
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    Any way after a long bit of explaining math and specials and what toppings actually go on a pizza the guy wants a job app. I gotta hand it to the guy working the register the most patient man my dad ever saw never got frustrated or anything a true pro.
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    Guy takes the job app and immediately comes back and asks if being a felon would keep him from getting a job there.
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    gemzietots You've no idea the volume of applications that pour in. It's... intimidating. The job of filing, tossing, replying and interviewing then trialling are all on my head. It's no joke people say your CV gets a 30 second window OR LESS to impress an employer. I've had the following;
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    A girl spelt her own first name wrong. She had a beautiful cover letter, signed and her CV was ok. She misspelt her name at the top of her CV. Poor English. As in, I just f ed this into google translate and hoped it would be okay. Spelling mistakes, so many spelling mistakes.
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    A girl who came in and simply said "I'm job" sooo many Miss Doubtfire jokes were had that day. I humoured her by asking her questions that all got the same response, "I'm Job" Th worst is when I turn down people who I deem unsuitable. I always give a reason, be it experience related or I don't think they're a good fit. Some people don't take no. And
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    harass me and my decision making. Like, yes I'll hire your whiny immature ass, please continue to berate me! People are strange.
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    wotsname123 You would be amazed how many people apply for medical jobs, eg training doctor jobs, without a medical degree. I also once put out an ad for a very specific type of psychologist, with very specific niche skills, in
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    assessing a very specific neurodevelopmental disorder. Got one application telling me not to overlook the benefits of employing a dance therapist.
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    IThinkThingsThrou... The position involved writing manuals and documentation. Applicant's resume spent roughly 50% of its time reminding me that she knew one of our other employees, 25% of the time lauding her attention to detail, and 25% of the time touting her "Manuel-writing skills."
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    uReallyShouldTrus... My mom has a small store and we try to hire neighborhood kids who want work to keep it in the family sort of speak. Most are great, but there was this one guy we hired who would come from time to time in a white t shirt. He would say
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    this is a new t shirt so didn't want to get it dirty. His job was cleaning the store...that was his only job but he refused on new white t shirt days. Had to let him go. He qas outraged.

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