22-year-old refuses to babysit her mom's boyfriend's 15-year-old son while they're on a cruise because he has screamed at her and stolen from her: 'Her boyfriend called me yesterday saying I'm making things difficult and that it's just 10 days.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Sep 11, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

You know that quote, "Before criticizing others, put your own house in order." It might not apply to every situation; nobody's house can be perfectly in order, and imperfection shouldn't mean you can't go out into the world and criticize institutions or businesses. But when someone whose home life is an absolute mess starts pointing fingers and judging others for not tolerating the level of chaos they're used to, you want them to take a good, long look in the mirror and get their life together. 

If your own house is in order, you have every right not to want to be involved in the dysfunction of family members and friends who can't take care of themselves. There's often a lot of societal pressure to stay within the orbit of your parents or your best friend, no matter how much that hurts you in the process, and that's not right. You cannot fix all of your mother's mistakes, and you can't be expected to pick up the pieces over and over again just because she's your mother and you love her. 

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  • Parents should not put their adult children in situations that they themselves cannot solve. Unfortunately, not all parents are considerate enough to put their own house in order before bringing their kids into their drama and conflict. The mom in this story wants her daughter to babysit her boyfriend's 15-year-old son, who has proven time and time again to be a juvenile delinquent. 

  • Man in black hoodie wearing aviator sunglasses
    via Marcel Strauß

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for refusing to let my mom's boyfriend's son stay at my apartment?

    my mom has been dating this guy for about eight months, and he has a 15 year old son. My mom is going on a cruise with her boyfriend next week for 10 days, and she's been asking me to let his son stay at my place while they're gone.
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • I'm 22f and I live with my boyfriend in a two bedroom apartment. We've let family crash in our spare room before when they needed a place to stay. The problem is, this kid is absolutely out of control and I want nothing to do with him.
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • This teenager has caused problems everywhere he goes. My mom's boyfriend's parents were watching him regularly until he stole money from their wallets, used their car without permission, and threw a party at their house that got the cops called. They
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • refuse to deal with him anymore. My mom's boyfriend's sister tried taking him for weekends but stopped after he broke their TV during a tantrum and was caught going through their personal belongings in their bedroom.
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • The few times I've been around him have been nightmares. He's ride, aggressive, and entitled. Last month at a family barbecue, he got in my face and started screaming at me because I wouldn't let him use my car to go pick up his friends. Another time
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • A group of young men standing next to each other
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • he tried to take my laptop while I was using it and when I said no, he called me ab and stormed off. He steals food off other people's plates, picks fights with younger kids, and has zero respect for adults.
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • My mom keeps saying I should give him a chance because he's been through a lot and his behavior is just him acting out. She says this relationship is serious and I need to start treating him like family. She's putting a lot of pressure on me, saying nobody else will take him and they've already paid for this cruise.
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • I told her absolutely not. I suggested they hire a professional sitter or cancel their trip. She got really upset and said I'm being selfish and that this is what family does for each other. Her boyfriend called me yesterday saying I'm making things difficult and that it's just ten days.
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • Look, I get that he's only 15 and probably has issues from whatever he's been through. But I'm not signing up to have my stuff stolen or broken, and I'm not putting my boyfriend through that stress either. My mom thinks I'm being an a hole and so does her boyfriend. Even some other family members are saying I should just sæk it up for ten days.
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • So AITA for refusing to let him stay with us while they go on their cruise?
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • White ship on sea during sunset
    via Alonso Reyes

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Direction Willing4592 So wait a minute. Your mom and her boyfriend have tried all the responsible, grown adults in their circle who might have a chance of having some control over this kid, and he has burned bridges with all of them? Now that he has alienated his own family, they expect you, someone who's only a small handful of years older than this kid, to spend a third of a month with him in her home? An underage child who's already tried to take your car, illegally I might add, to pick up hi
    via u/DirectionWilling4592
  • And your mom and her boyfriend are calling YOU an ah_le for not allowing this? Yeah, there's definitely an a_h_le (or two) in this scenario, but it's not you.
    via u/DirectionWilling4592
  • MuchBoysenberry6668 OP Thank you! That's exactly what I keep trying to tell my mom. If his own grandparents won't deal with him anymore, why would I?
    via u/MuchBoysenberry6668
  • Mmm_lemon_cakes His dad should be taking the money he's spending on this vacation to pay for a psychologist to help this kid. He shouldn't be going anywhere until he's got his child in order.
    via u/Mmm_lemon_cakes
  • Actual-Dog-405 And he shouldn't be dating and exposing someone else's family to this little a$$hole. He should get his kid sorted before anything else. What a useless father. Please tell him I said that.
    via u/Actual-Dog-405
  • BasisAromatic6776 You may need to take it farther. Tell them if they leave him with you, you will call the police & CPS for abandonment.
    via u/BasisAromatic6776
  • corgi-king Just let the kid stay in the mom's house. 15 is old enough to take care of themselves. What could possibly go wrong?
    via u/corgi-king
  • MotherOfCatDogs This is the correct answer. lol. Im sure mom would come up with all kinds of excuses as to why he couldn't stay unsupervised in her house while they're gone. She KNOWS what he's like and she doesn't want HER stuff gone through, stolen, or her car being driven while they're gone.
    via u/MotherOfCatDogs
  • Crayon Tactics Letting that kid stay would be like inviting a raccoon into your kitchen chaos guaranteed. You're totally justified in saying no; your peace of mind matters too.
    via u/CrayonTactics
  • SparkleSelkie Not true at all A raccoon isn't gonna steal my laptop or car, and it won't call me a b preferable either. Raccoon is vastly
    via u/SparkleSelkie
  • Boggers111 Your mother has a savour complex. Good for her. Doesn't mean you have to sink with her. NTA.
    via u/Boggers111
  • Butterfly_Chasers I don't think OPs mom has a savior complex. She has a "I want to keep a boyfriend, so sacrifice your home and happiness for mine, dear daughter" complex.
    via u/Butterfly_Chasers

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Tags

parents of teens boyfriend teens family drama teenager teenagers bad parenting cruise bad parents raising teens babysitting family mom son vacation
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