'My boyfriend is constantly bothering the cat just for his own entertainment': 24-year-old girlfriend babysits her friend's sweet and skittish cat, but her boyfriend shows red flags when he's with them

Author image for Ayala Sorotsky
Ayala Sorotsky • Writer and Editor
Sep 14, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Even if we aren't full-time pawrents, most of us know instinctively how to treat an animal: with patience, gentleness, and respect. Cats especially tell us who they are in the quietest of ways - the shy tilt of their head, the soft purr of approval, or the way they curl into our lap when they feel safe. To disregard that trust, or worse, to treat a cat like a joke for your own entertainment, cuts against what it means to be a true friend to animals.

That's why so many of us are angry at stories like this. Because it's not just about "teasing a cat". It's about ignoring clear boundaries from a vulnerable creature - one who has already known fear and needs kindness above all else. And if someone can't extend compassion to a gentle, skittish cat, how long before that same lack of empathy shows up in the relationship, too?

We've always believed that the way a person treats animals reveals who they really are. It's not about being a "cat person" or not - it's about respect, empathy, and care. For us, kindness toward cats is a non-negotiable. You don't torment a creature for fun. You don't scare them because you're bored. You either love them, or you step back and let them be. Period.

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  • 01
    AIO about my bf constantly bothering the cat we're babysitting? relationship
    via SoftColdPillows
  • 02
    woman smilling and scratching a fat cat under the chin, the cat closes his eyes and enjoys the petting
    via GabrielPevide

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 03
    so i (f24) and my bf (m29) live together and currently we're babysitting my friend's cat while she's out of town. i have never lived with a cat, never owned
    via SoftColdPillows
  • 04
    woman holding up a fat cat and kisses him on the face
    via pixelshot

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    one, but always loved them (and pretty much all pets). my bf, on the other hand, had a lot of cat experience and is very comfortable
    via SoftColdPillows
  • 06
    with them. so the cat is just a big fluffy ball. he's hilariously fat (he's on a diet now, no need to worry), hella lazy and pretty much just sleeps and waits for food all day. he's
    via SoftColdPillows
  • 07
    smiling woman holding a cat lovingly, he looks up at her with love
    via eclipse_images

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    also SUCH a gentle little boy, he just comes up to you and curles up on your lap, so you have this 15 pounds of joy just purring away, having his best life.
    via SoftColdPillows
  • 09
    arrogant man looking at someone off-frame and pointing at himself with self-importance
    via Khosro

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    another thing i gotta mention, he's pretty skittish and we're pretty sure he's been abused at some point, before my friend got him. so, long
    via SoftColdPillows
  • 11
    story short, i feel like my bf is constantly bothering the cat just for his own entertainment. the cat
    via SoftColdPillows
  • 12
    cat is scared, closing his eyes under a blanket
    via Karanvir Singh

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    would just be sleeping in our bed, and my bf just walk by and throw the blanket over him, so the cat wakes up startled. or he'd tease the
    via SoftColdPillows
  • 14
    cat with food he can't have (bc again, fat cat), or just randomly grab him and so on. at first i was kinda
    via SoftColdPillows
  • 15
    ped, because bro, just let the cat be. but now im wondering, is that how people actually treat their cats? like maybe that's
    via SoftColdPillows
  • 16
    totally normal and im just worrying too much about the poor kitty?
    via SoftColdPillows

  • This sweet, gentle boy deserved naps, snuggles, and peace - not to be startled or teased for someone’s amusement. Stories like this remind us that cats don’t just test our patience, they reveal our character. A skittish kitty with a history of hardship needs extra softness, not extra stress. The truth is simple: if you can’t treat an animal with empathy, you don’t deserve their trust. Cats know who’s safe, and so should we.

  • 17
    WhiteOut-_- • I don't like this. If the cat has a potential history of abe, your bf shouldn't be doing things to cause stress/anxiety. Its not funny or cool. Tell him to knock that shoff. 823 ۵2
    via WhiteOut-_-
  • 18
    Marinastar_ • Top 1% Commenter Your bf needs to stop scaring and bothering that poor boy. He needs to leave him alone. Put your foot down and have a serious talk with him. Unacceptable. 813
    via Marinastar_
  • 19
    Dapper Animal_5920 ⚫ Red flag for me what's he gonna do with a kid? Seems like he's not good with vulnerable things. Have you talked to him about this? ...
    via Dapper_Animal_5920
  • 20
    woman lovingly hugs a cat, who closes his eyes and enjoys the hug
    via Denis Valakhanovich

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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boyfriend feud cat relationship adorable cats entitlement fat cat drama pets fight relationships felines girlfriend cute cats couples feline entitled red flags red flag Reddit Cats relationship drama entitled people couple
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