26-year-old sister refuses to take in 16-year-old brother because of his problematic history with their childhood pets: 'Relatives [are] telling me I'm "picking a cat over my brother"'

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    '[Am I wrong] for refusing to let my brother near my cat after what happened with our old pets?'

    Advice Needed I (26F) live alone with my rescue cat, Mocha. She's a sweet but shy tabby who took months to warm up to me after I adopted her. She's extremely sensitive to loud sounds and rough handling, so I'm very protective of her.
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    The problem is my younger brother (16M). He's always had an odd relationship with animals.
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    When I confronted my parents, my mom brushed it off as "boys being boys" and told me I was overreacting. My dad was more sympathetic but never stepped in.
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    Fast forward to now, my brother has been suspended from school temporarily for behavioral issues, and my mom asked if he could come stay with me for a few days "to cool off." I immediately said no- not only do I not trust him around Mocha, but we don't exactly have a great relationship either.
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    My mom accused me of being unforgiving and cruel... saying my brother is trying to "turn over a new leaf" and that I should help support that. She insisted Mocha would be fine if I just kept her in a separate room, but I told her I wasn't taking that risk.
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    Now the family group chat is blowing up with guilt- trippy messages, and I've even gotten calls from relatives telling me I'm isolating him and “picking a cat over my brother."
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    Am I really the for refusing to let my brother stay over because I'm scared of what might happen to my cat?
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    Sue323464 • Top 1% Commenter The family group chat members can draw straws over who is going to babysit your Mom's problem. 1.2K D Reply
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    pwolf1111 ⚫ This will always be my answer. I just can't understand how people who won't help pass judgement on others. 309 > Reply
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    RainbowBright1982 • Take it a step further and make schedule showing what days he will be staying with each of those relatives and post it to the chat, offer to drive him to each place as your contribution. Then tell them FaMiLy 31 ○ Reply
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    Inevitable-Thought90 ⚫ Why can't he stay with your parents? Are they just thinking he needs a change of scenery, or is there a reason he can't stay with them?
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    Regardless, you are not his parent, he is not your responsibility, and you don't have to risk your and your cat's safety by having him stay with you. Especially because you are not close, you can't be expected to allow him special access to your home, just like you wouldn't be expected to allow a distant cousin or whatever.
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    Vandreeson ⚫ They're trying to him off on OP. It's just a couple of days turns into a couple of weeks turns into a couple of months then he's there permanently. The other family members giving OP a hard time can take him, but I bet they don't want to. A change in geography isn't going to magically solve the brother's problems.
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    MissyGrayGray ⚫ Your brother's behavior is that of a and I'm not kidding at all. He's at the very least a sociopath if not a psychopath.
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    You owe it to your cat to protect her. Your brother can stay at a treatment center or in juvenile detention. The fact that your mother keeps excusing his behavior is very concerning.
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    SmartFX2001 ⚫ Ask the family members that are sending guilt tripping messages - which one of them wants to temporarily house him! As far as your mom saying that he's turning over a new leaf - what a crock! He's being suspended for BEHAVIORAL issues! 45 ○ Reply
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    Baaastet ⚫ Hurting animals is a huge warning for major mental issues. No way I'd let him anywhere near my cats. TBH I wouldn't want to be around him on my own.
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    Hestiah⚫ I read until "boys will be boys" and that was it. Your parents are ignoring obvious red flag behavior. Not to mention that you're not the parent and it's not your responsibility. They can be the parents.
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    If it wasn't clear. I wouldn't let any of my family near my pets if there was even a hint that they might hurt them.
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    NoWriter8559. My cats are my babies. Id go to jail for if anyone, family or no, did anything to them....i dont blame you at all or think you are being unfair. There's quite a few very solid reasons not to let him and why the risk to your cat is probably alot higher then you or they think.
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    Hes suspended for behavioural issues, hes clearly not coping and this makes him more unstable/risky to have around animals.
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    He is 16 years old and your parents "sending him away" for a few days is going to leave him with big emotions and feelings, that again make him more unstable. (Parental abandoment, guilt, anger etc.) Hes messed up and now theyre sending him away. Even if its logical to adults hes most likely not going to see it that way.
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    You both have a rocky relationship per your post. This makes him more likely to do something to mocha to get a reaction from you.
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    And the biggest one is his history. If hes hurt animals before he will do it again if not given help.
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